AIBU to resent friend on UC living better than us?

[Sunshineandrainbows123]

I know I am being unreasonable but just need to rant and I’m aware that perception is different to reality. I’ve worked hard all my life, since I was 14, paid my way through uni to get a decent qualification and job at the end of it all. I bought a house with my partner but as with so many of us I feel like I can’t rub 2 pennies together. Meanwhile a close friend claims universal benefits, has minimum 4 holidays a year, 2-3 abroad, gets regular beauty treatments, a new car and is able to regularly take her children to the cinema, days out and buy them new clothes, trainers and toys. I feel like I took the wrong path sometimes - she doesn’t have to pay rent for the home they live in, or school lunches for her kids, there are so many discounts and opportunities afforded to those on UC that working families don’t get. I don’t know if it’s better to distance myself. I know I need to probably give my head a wobble.

Well obviously lol. It was only a way that you could be well off on UC

You might have misread my comment, or I have misread yours. Either way I agree with you!

I was saying that by their own logic they would have to sort themselves out. Meaning the people who begrudge benefits would have to sort themselves out if they fell on hard times, if they’re so against a welfare system that they would like to see abolished.

Some people would happily see the benefits system abolished which I think would horrific. So it would be interesting to see how different they would feel if they ever needed it. I’m just pointing out how self centred lots of people are.

But as I said, they’d probably still think benefits should only be for them even if they wanted it to stay. So again a self centred and fuck everyone else attitude.

One I know of is very cheap entry into places in London. The Tower zoo and transport museum. Probably other things also

I live twenty miles from Glasgow. With respect that's of no use to people who don't live in London

I think I may have tagged the wrong poster, sorry.

No but they marry rich men to be sahm supported by him. What's the actual difference

If you’re jealous of a friends financial situation and feeling bitter, it perhaps is the right choice to distance yourself. She doesn’t need that kind of negativity in her life.

Ah it’s ok. 😄

Im intrigued regarding your friend, i would love to know where she lives in such luxury that the Housing Element covers all her rent. She will likely have at least one child who is Neurodivergent as this seems to have increased tenfold and by working the bare minimum if at all so then her earnings do not reduce her Universal Credit and she will receive Free School Meals. She may also be claiming other elements that will increase her payment but we do not have accurate information. Its not that unbelievable to think that she uses some of her money to treat her children to a holiday, that is actually allowed you know. You can get holidays pretty cheap if you put in a but of effort and time. I have helped numerous people in my workplace apply for various benefits and the variety in amounts paid out is really quite something.

UC deducts income at 55p to every £1 earned. There is a maximum cap you can get on UC. I wouldn't be surprised if she has a side hustle - OnlyFans? Etsy shop? Self-employed jobs? She can be paid in cash and UC wouldn't know (fraud), but would find out at some point. Including going abroad.

It was meant for @Trda whom I think you were replying to...

She could be disabled or have disabilities herself. Pretty sure the OP clarified in another post that her friend doesn't have 4 holidays abroad a year. You are also allowed to leave the country if you are on Uc - it's only if you go over a month your benefits stop

To everyone saying she’s talking crap, she isn’t! I know someone exactly the same infact she’s on holiday just now proudly posting on insta. I still wouldn’t like her life but I haven’t had a holiday in 8 years and work full time but I do get it and there are plenty more similar

You’ll get flamed alive but I know a single parent on UC, drives a Range Rover, has a horse, a holiday abroad every year, has her nails done, 2-3 times a year has a new tattoo

a close friend is on uc. Owns a horse. Has an expensive car on mobility (def qualifies for the car but can’t work out how they afford the down payment every 3years!), has UK holidays twice a year. Not rolling it but they buy Starbucks daily - large mocha type drinks

i got roasted for getting pd off a lady i know getting pension credit yet managing to go on luxury holidays (long haul, business class) every year. Currently planning a bespoke safari! Has mobility car - keeps as over pension age so doesn’t get proper reviews, just soft touch every 10 years - yet goes to a very expensive gym 6 times a week 🤷‍♂️. Eats out several times a week

yes a lot of people are struggling and living in horrendous poverty but there are also a lot that have found ways to exploit the system

so yes op I too know people who are way better off to us, a working household

Oh right. You know someone on insta so that means everyone out there who is genuinely struggling on Uc is a liar.

No there are not. Benefits fraud is actually very low particularly when it comes to people with disabilities. It is not easy to game the system - people only get pension credit if their income is very low to start with

Not what I said! There are people exploiting the system, you maybe don’t want to believe it but that’s upto you

That's what you mean. The system is so easy to game - it is not. Not at all. I was turned down for disability benefits three times. When I had ptsd. When I had multiple fractures. Let's stop the it's so easy to live the high life on benefits trope. It's not. It really isn't.

Oh and by the way. I worked full time for 30 years but according to some people on this thread I shouldn't get benefits at all. What sad lives some people live if all they care about is bashing people on benefits

You'll be happy to hear that Motability is slashing what it provides - annual mileage cut in half, fewer tyre changes and a fee for those people who have the absolute cheek to go abroad when they're meant to be at home being disabled. This is because of the campaign whipped up against Motability claimants by the government and media and spread about as fact by people like you.
That will give you a warm glow I'm sure.

Words actually fucking fail me. Imagine sitting counting mochas that people drink

Lcwra is being cut in half for new claimants from next month too -, brilliant yes

And she will have to pay rent her entire life. Will lose lots of money her her children age, and you will be in a paid house.

I've been called more names online since I got disability benefits than I can remember. I'm a lazy freeloader. I'm scum at the bottom of the pile. I'm a chancer - I'm none of these things

I was stalked for a 15 months period. I have ptsd. The dwp kept telling me over and over I was fit to work when I felt like killing myself. Then when I broke my leg it was a battle to get disability benefits - I would not swap my life for anyones. And I don't mean benefits - because I have been so damaged by the stuff I went through I am a shell of the person I used to be. I had a nervous breakdown in 2023 and even then I didn't get disability benefits - it took a long time after that

Any extra money I get for my mental health which isn't much doesn't make up for the life I used to have - and that money will be stopping next month - you don't know what people are going through behind the scenes. If someone saw me they would think I'm functioning when it takes anti anxiety medication. Anti depressants depressants and sleeping pills - which I have just had to come off to hold it together

And even in the worst of the worst times. I started a degree part time and finished it

I apparently don't deserve benefits according to at least one poster on here - without them I would be homeless

There is also nothing wrong with renting - plenty of people do it all their life for various reasons

Oh absolutely not. I rent and will my whole life as im not in a position to buy. Im just saying people think that people on uc and benefits are living the life of Riley. That higher benefit payments usually only comes with children and disabilities. I know many mothers who really struggle when their kids hit adulthood. Have taken years out of their career and can only get minimum wage jobs and are often still a carer for their children. I was pointing out that the OP's position isnt as poor as she might thing it is right now.

Yep. And governments get away with these policies which are not in any way evidence based because there are useful idiots queuing up to spread the misinformation they knowingly put out. It's Trumpian - I read an article in a local newspaper today talking about the "ballooning benefits bill" as if it were fact - and people take that in and vomit it out on forums like this.
We can afford what we need to afford. Keeping people in poverty, that's the costly thing.