What age did you start feeling life was finally sorted?

[Justsorted]

To ask…what age (if at all) did you finally feel like everything was sorted, all was in place and you had it pretty much (as much as you can I suppose) all figured out!? I’m 41 and finally just feeling that way, after a fairly tumultuous few years, and years before that of waiting for one thing to happen before I can sort the next. I finally finally feel sorted with my family, my home, my job, finances etc etc. Now I appreciate things can change at any moment but it’s the peace I feel that I’m not waiting, I’m not striving and stressing, I can just live. I didn’t think it would take this long. What about you?

I'm now reading the other posts and feel the need for a bit more explanation. At 50, my life expectations lowered to meet what financial security I had.

I realised I'm never going to be rich or "successful" in any financially exciting way. 🤣 That wasn't the case until then - I was always on a (very stressful) upward trajectory. After nearly two years of unemployment, I settled for enough. A job, an income. No prospects, but not much pressure either.

My chronic pain condition, now diagnosed, has finally killed any idea that I can have ambition of greater wealth. And just for today, I'm okay with that. I've refocused my goals around my family and my hobbies.

I grow veg and flowers on my allotment and get there as much as weather, job and energy permit. I look after my two beloved and beautiful cats. I live with my adored husband and lovely daughter. I dabble in art amd textile crafts.

I increasingly can't really access expensive things like travel or adventures. That does make me sad if I dwell on it, but I replaced outward adventure with smaller explorations in my art.

I try to look at the half full. I have two beautiful happy and thriving daughters. They had their struggles in childhood and adolescence, but they survived them. Secretly i think this was in large part down to having us as kind, stable and loving parents but I'd never say that to them.

My pain management course has urged me to do less, not more. At first I hated the idea of this, because I've always thrived on being "extra". But maybe its given me permission to "be".

I think middle age has brought a kind of freedom from obligations like being a mum and housekeeper that were very heavy on me. But I wasn't prepared to let my kids down.

I'm exhausted at times, but I'm now recognising that it's not a sign of personal weakness, it just is. I've stopped judging myself so harshly.

54 and it’s all falling apart far more than ever before 😫😫😫

I’m 72. Went through the contented and settled stage around early 50’s, and now all over the place again due to (slightly older) DH having dementia and other serious health issues. We are looking at him going into full time residential care at some point in the next year or so, so back to the drawing board with finances, life style choices, family issues etc.

Enjoy it while you can OP ….

I felt very settled and sorted at 35 then went through an incredibly traumatic loss. Ten years later I’m still trying to pick up the pieces.

over the past 10 years I had no life and multiple close family deaths a birth and lost my job due to having to care for family member i

I think I was in my early 40s when I realised this was never going to happen. Every time you feel you've got everything on an even keel something changes.

Finally feel content and settled

I'm 65. Still waiting!

Bloody love it 😂 and deffo the way I shall arrive there !!! X

I don't think that ever happens. Personally for me I would say 34, by that age was in the house I loved and always wanted and my family was complete.

After that though, our parents started to get ill health and we experienced loss and that is still ongoing with MIL having cancer.

Well done !! That is a massive achievement !! Wishing you continued success with your sobriety xx

Still waiting.

Mid-late 20’s, up until I was 30 I genuinely believed my life was completely sorted. It’s been getting progressively worse since that time, I’m now staring 40 down the barrel. The last 3 months have been the most unstable of my life but I feel as if I’m finally about to start to figure out my life as I truly would like it to be rather than floating along and following someone else’s opinion(s) on what it should look like.

I have had several pockets of feeling ‘sorted’ that last about 6 months before it all goes tits up again due to unforeseen events - redundancy, Covid lockdown, child mental health crisis, bereavement, inheriting a needy anxious dog, suddenly discovering the back wall of my house was disintegrating and needed to be rebuilt at vast expense, etc.

Mid 60’s

Would not say I am sorted, but my perspective and priorities have changed ....
I please myself more now
My circle (friends etc) is smaller but better quality
Materialistic stuff matters less (do not feel the need /pressure to comply )

I am 45 and I guess curve balls have lead me to these realisations (divorce / less dispoable income etc)

I’m not sure I ever will. You never know what’s around the corner.

48

I like my life now, and I have enjoyed all its stages, but there is always a complication. For me, it has largely been DHs health. He looks big fit and strong, but the last 20 years have been a long drawn out story of sequential acute cardiac crises. Thankfully, those seem to be okay for now, but today he has sight problems. It definitely isn't trivial, because the hospital called in an emergency theatre team on a Friday afternoon to do biopsy samples, and we are due back at 0815 tomorrow for blood tests and scans. Fingers crossed. DH would hate being blind more than anything. His eyesight has never been great, but this is a degree worse.

So life is not currently sorted for us, but three weeks ago, I would have said it was.

Well I was sorted at 40 but now I’m 60 and not sorted! So don’t get too complacent!

56, when I ditched XH, then an extra pulse at 60 when I paid off my mortgage. At 63 I still don’t feel completely grown up though!

The beginning of last year (I’m 48) dd at uni, managing to give her enough to live on, plus some nice treats. Dh and I decided we’d book a holiday abroad with ds after last Easter, I was just feeling that we’d weathered our financial storm of the previous few years but then bam, dh was made redundant and still hasn’t found a job after a year.
I felt like we’d just got there and now it’s gone, I’m hoping that we’ll get there again one day.

Life is never ‘sorted’. You can be 50 and have everything just as you want it - perfect partner, happy kids, nice house, great career - and within six months it falls to pieces. Your partner is diagnosed with cancer, or you’re made redundant, or your son develops a drug problem, etc, etc. Life is never settled for long.

To everyone saying…things can change, don’t get complacent, I absolutely know that! I did state that in my OP! I’m very aware things can change and I by no means alluded to “I’m sorted and that’s it for life now!” I’m grateful to not be trying to sort something huge (although I’m always trying to better my career) or stressing too much about something. I have 2 dc so there’s always that element of worry or stress of course.