Fed up with friend's dog

[Sally20099]

I’m utterly fed up with one of my friends always bringing her dog to our house. Whether she’s dropping in for a 1hr coffee or her full family come around for a couple of hours she always brings her dog. Everyone knows I am not a dog person; it is not a secret. I have two cats who I have to lock away in another room as they are indoor cats, I have to move all the cat food and cat trays as well. They spend the entire time terrified of the barking and hide under the bed. The house is not decorated for dogs - expensive carpet throughout. The dog is left alone all day while they are at work / school and has a walker visit. It can wait on its own for a couple of hours if they go somewhere that isn’t set up for dogs and they aren’t welcome. I love their company and the our eldest is best friends with their daughter but I am sick of the complete lack of bother about my preferences on this. Im not asking them to leave their children at home, it’s a stupid dog FFS. I obviously could be explicit and say don’t bring your dog, but I know she will get really upset - she’s one of these people who think her dog should be able to go into any pub, hotel, park area etc. it’s driving me nuts that she’s so dismissive of my feelings and would rather inconvenience me over herself / dog.

This.
I have a dog and wouldn't dream of doing what your friend is doing
I think he's only been to my mum's a few times, think Christmas, my BILs old house, occasionally, and not his new house. And my in laws regularly as they look after him. I can't think of anywhere else he's been. Because why would he need to?!

Why didn’t you say in the beginning?
I have a friend who drives over with her dog, I have no qualms in saying the dog can’t come in due to my cat. We either take it for a walk around the local common whilst we chat, or it stays in the garden or car when we have a cuppa and a catch up.
We had visitors turn up for lunch once and were horrified they’d brought their dog. We told them to go around to the back garden and they sat on the patio with their dog and we all ate lunch out there with jumpers on.
Thing is, we had a dog for 15 years, so are not anti dog, we just wouldn’t have dreamt of taking him into other peoples homes, even if they had their own dog.

"Please don't bring your dog to my house any more". The end.

I haven't RTFT but I voted YABU even though I cant stand dogs or dog people (or cats or cat people!). But if you haven't told her how you feel, and you go to these great lengths to accommodate her dog and welcome it into your home, how could she possibly know you don't like it being there?!

As a dog lover, tell your friend your cats can’t cope with dog visitors, she’ll have to leave it at home!

This.

I know, my dog & I argued over the wall paper, I told him when he has his own house he can choose the wall paper. But I did let him choose the paint colour in the utility room it seemed only fair as he's the one eating in there!

It is isn't it.

wow, the snowflakes on here getting wound up over “stupid dog”, people seriously need to get a grip.

👍🏻😁

A stupid dog? Who would want you as a friend with that attitude!

Nope the OP is.

the friend was maybe a bit rude/inconsiderate not asking in the first place, but maybe had reason to believe it wasn't a problem & as she hasn't been made aware it's a problem has continued to bring him.

its the OP quietly seething that's the problem. She just needs to use her words & say to please nit bring the dog as the cats are getting too upset by it.

i know you said previously she jyst needs to say NO, she doesn't need a reason, but we all know things are more pleasant (in the UK) when we use a bit of social grease on the cogs of unpleasant changes.

Yes, I'm sure the dog would be very offended if it read that comment in the OP.

You don't have to have anything/anyone in your house that you don't want. You are unreasonable for being resentful that she hasn't stopped when you never actually told her to stop!

More snowflakes coming out

I voted you are unreasonable for not telling her a long time ago that her dog is not welcome.

I always think of people that use the word snowflakes as being particularly dim.

My grip is just fine thank you.

Your manners however seem to be what's needed to be got.

Yes!

Shut up snowflake

It’s a good job that no one cares what you think!

You're going to have to be explicit. Tell her you're sorry but you'll not be able to have the dog round again because it's really stressing the cats. If you need an excuse for this sudden change say that last time the cat scratched up the furniture in fear at the sound of the dog or something.

Me too. It is post like this where I wonder how people manage to get through life when they cannot find a simple way to say “you can’t bring your dog as our cats are terrified of it”

It's rude. I have a dog, I wouldn't take him to a friend's home, especially if they didn't like dogs. Just be straight with her, you dog is stressing our my cats and I don't like dogs leave it at home or don't come round. I don't understand people that take thier dogs everywhere.

I’ve pointed out I have to lock the cats away each time. Ive pointed out I don’t like dogs. The cats don’t go outside and get dirty - I know her dog does and impis ted it out 🙄. You seem as clueless to others feeling as she does about dogs. Clearly you are another entitled dog owner forcing it upon people who are too polite to outright ask.