AIBU to use main bathroom on holiday despite en suite?

[AliceNotInChains]

Last Easter I went away with DH, Sister and BIL. We stayed in an castle apartment.
As I have IBS and other gut issues I insisted on having a bedroom with an en suit for my benefit and everyone else’s. This was fine, DH and I got the room with the little en-suite. On the first night we were watching a film in the living room and I got up to pop to toilet, I went into the main bathroom and they all started shouting that I should use my own bathroom. I laughed and said I’m only going for a wee and this was met with more shouting of “you have your own toilet”, DH then said “she does this at home too, claims ownership on one toilet then uses everyone else’s”

Anyway it went on and on, the whole 3 nights were spent with them trying to stop me using the main bathroom. I think it started as a joke but they were 100% being serious by the end of it.

Anyway we’re due to go back tomorrow, same place and already sister is dropping hints about whoever gets the en suite uses that exclusively.

Am I the one in the wrong here?? I’m only using main bathroom for peeing btw

Easier for who? you?
YABU and very selfish.

With all the drip feeds, it sounds like this rental place is just unsuitable for everyone. Next time get one with two full bathrooms, one for each couple so nobody needs to go into the other bathroom at all. Oh, and no creepy corridors full of scary monsters....

I think it's very easy for people to have needs that others don't have, but then also take huge advantage of them over and above what their needs actually are.

For example, if several of you were living somewhere with a very small two-shelf shared fridge, somebody who needs insulin would deserve absolute priority to ensure that there is always space available in the fridge for that at all times: this is completely reasonable.

However, if that person then claimed that, because they needed space for their insulin, that meant that one of the shelves was theirs exclusively - for as much of their own milk, butter, ham, or whatever that they wanted to buy and store there alongside the insulin, with everybody else forced to share the other shelf... that's kind of what's happening here; except that OP would also be wanting to move somebody else's milk out to make room for her to keep some cold cans of pop on their shelf.

THREE full bathrooms - as OP doesn't even want to share hers with her own DH.

The way I see this is because you insisted on having the en-suite, the main bathroom became ‘their’ bathroom so their version of an en-suite meaning you should stick to your own. It’s a bit weird though I agree, I wouldn’t be arsed about someone peeing in ‘my’ designated bathroom.

Even in my own home if we have guests I only use my ensuite and leave them to the bathroom. I would not go in there for any reason.

Why are you going again if it's so 'spooky'?

The problem is @Sartre- the OP has been clear she would be annoyed at BIL or SIL using her bathroom, she said she only just tolerates her DH using it. So it’s a double standard, she expects other people to share their bathroom with her, she will not share her bathroom with them.

If she has made a song and dance about having to have her own special loo at home and on holiday, I can easily see why someone who otherwise would be happy to share would be annoyed at the OP’s behaviour.

Spooky? Are you 9?

Well, it's not just me; other people on here are just as baffled by the thought of being horrified at someone else seeing your stuff.
When there's a non-ensuite bathroom that's closer to a living room/kitchen/room everyone uses, the practical and sensible thing is that the main bathroom is for everyone and the ensuite is an added benefit (or in this specific case, with the OP's health issues, more of a welcome and necessary thing).
Any time I've been on holiday with friends and there have been a mix of ensuites and non-ensuite bathrooms, this has been the deal.
I cannot believe so many presumably otherwise fairly normal and rational adults are getting their knickers in such a twist about which bathroom someone uses.

she's said she isn't the only one who thinks this about the corridor.

Will you still claim solo use of an en-suite, but also use the main bathroom?

Then honestly they shouldn’t be travelling if they are too scared to traverse the hallway in the air b n b, I mean how big can it be, and I assume irs got lights.

Ok theyre all 9 then

Harsh. I've been in places where certain rooms/areas gave me the heebie-jeebies, despite being a functioning and fairly capable adult.
In a situation where it's much quicker and easier, and less freaky, to nip to a shared bathroom than to make a long journey to an ensuite, I'd use the shared every time. I don't think that's the hanging offence people on here are making it out to be.

Silly thing to say.

If you are saying you would prefer your DH not to use the ensuite ie you want it all to yourself .. its very likely you are doing and saying things for people to have had an enough of your toilet opinions.

Then use a frickin' flashlight. I also have IBS and I STILL would not insist upon having the ensuite and also think it's okay to use the other bathroom, even just for a wee. You have a bathroom so the "main" bathroom is the rest of the guests, not yours.

I missed your last post where you said the ensuite is just like a half bathroom. If you also have to shower in the main bath, then they should lay off. I still think you are being precious about the spooky corridor.

The plan of getting one with two ensuites and a main bathroom sounds better.

Sounds like a fun group of people

Of course you’re in the wrong!!!

BTW - your husband and your in-laws don’t like you …at all. If they liked you they wouldn’t say anything.

I have my own toilet, my partner has his own toilet but everyone seems to use the communal (downstairs) toilet.

No you don’t get to commander one toilet for just your temperamental bowels and then also occupy the other. Don’t be so selfish there’s no such thing as a spooky toilet. Go to your own special toilet and let the multiple other guests have an available facility to relieve themselves.

My daughter has ibs, we have a three story house and her room is on the top floor, she never uses any of the other bathrooms, including downstairs loo, even though it would not remotely bother us and I always say you don’t need to go all the way up, she does it both for privacy and out of respect for others.

the fact they are all complaining, inc the ops own husband, indicates she does use whichever bathroom she wishes, and does leave bad smells and doesn’t consider others.

If you have a genuine medical condition, no. I understand some people with IBS might need to spend a long time, and certain gut conditions can make you smell. If this is the case, it's reasonable if you were just going for a quick pee and didn't want to stop everyone watching the film.

I guess the bit you need to reflect on - if it’s ok for you to use “their” bathroom only for weeing, would you be ok with them using “your” bathroom only for weeing? Eg if they needed to go while someone was in the main bathroom. Would that bother you?

If the answer to that is yes, then you being a bit of a hypocrite / princess and it’s probably annoying everyone.

I have gut issues too and would 100% have wanted my own en suite as well. However, once I had it I would definitely only use that one - unless others are welcome to use the en suite "just for a wee", in which case no issue.

Sorry OP but I too think YABU here.

Why are they being so territorial over a toilet? It isn’t as if they are the ones cleaning it. Sounds like they need to grow up and get over themselves.