AIBU to use main bathroom on holiday despite en suite?

[AliceNotInChains]

Last Easter I went away with DH, Sister and BIL. We stayed in an castle apartment.
As I have IBS and other gut issues I insisted on having a bedroom with an en suit for my benefit and everyone else’s. This was fine, DH and I got the room with the little en-suite. On the first night we were watching a film in the living room and I got up to pop to toilet, I went into the main bathroom and they all started shouting that I should use my own bathroom. I laughed and said I’m only going for a wee and this was met with more shouting of “you have your own toilet”, DH then said “she does this at home too, claims ownership on one toilet then uses everyone else’s”

Anyway it went on and on, the whole 3 nights were spent with them trying to stop me using the main bathroom. I think it started as a joke but they were 100% being serious by the end of it.

Anyway we’re due to go back tomorrow, same place and already sister is dropping hints about whoever gets the en suite uses that exclusively.

Am I the one in the wrong here?? I’m only using main bathroom for peeing btw

That would be why DH is using their toilet then, if you're going to monopolise a toilet, actually use it, you can't dissuade everyone from using yours, then want to use theirs, just because you're being a wimp about a corridor.

What does your DH mean about you doing this at home?

I think they are probably resentful about you insisting on an en suite for some reason, like it limits the options of where to stay, bumps the cost up but you don't pay more, means you always get the best room.

The fact you don't want your husband to use the en suite is a bit much OP. Is that because you are embarrassed about how it ends up after you use it, due to your gut problems? Or because you might need it short notice and worry it won't be free?

This is about privacy and respect. You have a private bathroom en suite to your bedroom. They too should have a private bathroom in that case. The fact that it isn't attached to their room is neither here nor there. Stick to your space, they stick to theirs.

This has to be a piss take, pun intended. 😂 “Spooky corridor” isn’t a justification for anything, past age 7.

Even more unreasonable if you want a whole bathroom to yourself and yet expect to share the other toilets.

If you want a private toilet then only use that toilet. If you want to share then share all toilets.

This is where I'm at.

This type of thread makes me realise how bloody weird other people are (and I get irritated by plenty of 'small' things)!

This is insane. You're now more than unreasonable and need to get a massive grip. I'm surprised they're going away with you again. I have IBS, it's awful. But you're out of line.

What does your DH do when he wants a wee - does he walk up to the en-suite?

The en-suite doesn’t have a shower so we need to use the main bathroom anyway to shower.
we won’t be booking this place again as it’s just not worth the hassle. One of the other apartments has two en-suite and a main bathroom so we’ll get that one next time

I suspect there is more background to this than you are letting on. Have you somehow let toilet choices become part of your identity? Is your IBS so bad that it has really affected who you are? This feels like an odd situation just in isolation. Perhaps you should choose the accommodation next year and make sure there are enough toilets for your needs.

Three bathrooms between two couples, so you can have a choice of main or en suite, are you paying the extra?

Presumably it has a bath which is what the person who takes the en-suite should use.

It sounds as though OP has a special toilet at home just for her own use where husband is not allowed to go but still uses other bathrooms in the house.

Sorry but this makes you sound like a proper entitled princess.
Of course they only have an issue with you using the main bathroom, you're the one insisting on your own bathroom so why the fuck should you get to use the one you've dictated that every one else uses?

When we’ve gone away with my sister and BIL we look for somewhere with 2 bathrooms and then the bathrooms are assigned to each couple, I don’t use the other bathroom for anything my entire stay. The only ones that switch between the bathrooms are the kids, who are free to use either…

OK @AliceNotInChains- if you do go for the other rental with 3 bathrooms for 2 couples and then reserve one bathroom just for yourself, will you a) accept by reserving a bathroom just for yourself you would be rude to use the other ones and b) offer to pay more/the difference in price ?

I think this is the main problem. You seem to have a classic case of main character syndrome, whereby you seem to centre your own needs but can't really think from anybody else's point of view.

How on earth is is 'easier' for him to be in a bedroom with an en-suite toilet that he's strongly discouraged from/resented for using?

Just because you're the only one in the group with IBS and gut issues, that doesn't mean that the other three don't need to use a toilet/bathroom regularly - and they don't want to be made to feel like they're being allowed to use it as a favour granted by you.

To be honest, I strongly wonder if this is the only thing that they get annoyed about - when you centre your own comforts and preferences, as though they're all that matter, and seem to have very little regard for theirs. Maybe your insisting on having your own toilet but then still using theirs is the final straw for them.

This is one of many such cases where it's a complete non-issue that the majority of people in the real world wouldn't bat an eyelid at. But online, people take way too seriously and act as if you're the most entitled, unreasonable person alive.

Fantastic! PM me your home address and I'll be over at some point tomorrow whenever I have a full bladder!

You prefer him not to, why?

Agree with others think others are a bit fatigued by the toilet situation, use your ensuite and let dh use it too.

And where does this leave OP's DH? The other couple will have their private en-suite, OP will demand exclusive rights (or nigh on) to their private en-suite; so he's the only one left without his own bathroom and having a shared one as his only option.

Came on to say this. If there are two couples and two bathrooms, it isn’t en-suite and main, it’s yours and theirs. You’re using their bathroom, as well as having one for your exclusive use. That isn’t fair when you’re sharing accommodation.

Oh FFS get a grip. Use the toilet you demanded to have, even if you are weeing. Perhaps they don’t want to share a loo either?

This makes you even more unreasonable in my view. There are 4 of you and 2 bathrooms. But. you want to have one all to yourself, for the other three people to have to share AND you get to use that bathroom too whenever you choose.

I clicked you are not being unreasonable by mistake and can’t change it on my phone.
Spooky or not, you requested an en-suite, so the other couple get the main bathroom. Simple.