Make 9 year old learn to ride a bike?

[SherbettAnna]

So DS is 9 now and hasn’t had a bike since he was about 4-5 (with training wheels) and he had a balance bike aged about 4.

We don’t live somewhere where he can just ‘ride his bike’ in the garden or outside the home. A bike wouldn’t fit in my little car so we would be limited to walking to a nice area he could ride to (I would walk him) once per week at the weekend. Wouldn’t be able to ride to school.

He isn’t bothered about a bike.
(He swims/ plays football x2 per week so it’s not like he’s not active).

I don’t know if I should spend money on a bike so he can learn to ride it eventually by practicing every weekend - only as I think he should be able to ride a bike.

YABU- Don’t get him a bike.

YANBU- he is 9 he should be able to ride a bike GO AND BUY ONE

All opinions welcome thank you.

Get a cheap second hand one and go enough that he can do it, he doesnt sound very active and it gives him wider horizons. This is a great age to be trying all kinds of things and to spark interest, he's unlikely to have the same enthusiasm for trying new things that everyone else is already good at when he's high school age.

It’s not generational. My mum rode her bike everywhere. It’s still in our garage because I couldn’t bear to part with it. My millennial stepdaughter can’t either and certainly doesn’t show any sign of being disadvantaged.

I mean do you really think he will never in his life be in a situation where he might need or want to ride a bike? If you think this will even happen once just teach him now. He will learn in like two weeks at 7. Not so easy at 27.

Do not use stabilisers. The are a hindrance to learning a bike. And do more harm than good. You just cannot learn to cycle with stabilisers as you have to balance, and you can't do that on 4 wheels.

There are two things to cycling: balance and pedalling. Use a balance bike or a normal bike with pedals off. Learn to push and balance. Once balance is properly learnt (ie balancing for a long old while), introduce the pedalling.

Could it be generational in that boomers are less likely to cycle than greatest generation, given greatest gen had less access to cars?

My gran and grandad were probably roughly the same generation as your mum and they cycled everywhere too. But my boomer mum never learned.

Your millennial stepdaughter being unable is an outlier. That honestly is incredibly unusual. Again I do accept regional variations may exist to some extent though.

I agree that riding a bike is an essential skill in life, like swimming, driving, being able to read analog clock, etc!

Yes, I bought a lovely one for my eight year old GS last autumn, so he could learn to ride. It was a little bit too big for him then, but it should be fine now, so hopefully he will learn now that spring is here.

Same here! I literally don't know anyone of my generation ( I am early 60s) who can't ride a bike. In these days when we are trying to be less reliant on cars and so many towns and cities are investing in cycle lanes surely it is even more relevant.

But Mumsnet is a funny place. People will be adamant that swimming is an essential life skill and yet be dismissive of cycling. How many people are likely to swim to work?

I can’t ride a bike. You’ve met one now. My abusive father tried to teach me how whilst verbally abusing me (he’d promise not to let go, he’d let go, I’d fall over, and then he’d scream at me for not “just peddling”). It made the whole experience so extremely unpleasant that I still can’t ride a bike. My ex couldn’t ride one (wasn’t essential to him), and my DH can’t ride one (AuDHD-related dyspraxia). So that’s three right there. My ex and DH have almost nothing in common except ADHD and lacking the ability to ride a bike.

I think it's essential to learn. For the grads at work fitness seems very important and a big part of their social lives. Lots of them doing triathlons, long rides with cycle clubs or mountain biking. You don't want to hold your child back from future social stuff!

Also it's just a useful skill. In the future they may want to cycle to work so they aren't stuck in traffic etc...

I know people like me who rode a bike a couple of times as a child and not in 20,30, 40, 50+ years so technically can they ride a bike or not? if people choose not to ride a bike how do they know they can still ride one? I know the old cliche but still

I'm not convinced that cycling and swimming are equally essential. I'm not sure people die of not being able to ride a bike.

I was a perfectly competent cyclist at primary school but haven't been on a bike since the age of about 11. I'm in my forties now and it's honestly not made a blind bit of difference to my life.

Mind you swimming is a great skill but not sure even that can be called essential knowing how to swim does not stop drowning

Whilst I don't think you need to make him, I think it would be much harder to learn as a young adult and he may never do it, so I would. At his age he should get it quite quickly but in a couple more years his limbs will be all over the place and he'll be ungainly, not isn't a bad option, maybe get him a lesson or two, at his age he's more than ready to learn and should do it fast.

I’ve made it to 43 without ever learning to swim and have somehow miraculously managed to not suddenly find myself in the sea or a pool 😂.

Some of us have agency over where we go you know!

I don’t think swimming, cycling or driving a car is an essential life skill. I can do two of those and still could live without them.

Essential life skills to me, as a woman, is learning to spot red flags in men (and in friendships), learning the meaning and legal implications and benefits of being married, and learning how to live independently, both financially and physically.

As I said; not being able to swim has done me literally zero harm, and I live on the coast! I just don’t go in the sea, just like someone who may not be able to ride a horse wouldn’t just suddenly jump on and expect to know what to do 😂😂

Do you know that essential basically means something you can’t be without?

I agree he should learn to ride because it’s one of life’s most fun activities, but essential it’s not - like all the others you mentioned except maybe telling the time.

The harm it has done you is that you live on the coast and don’t go in the sea. Is that not obvious?

Im sorry to say this but barring any disabilities or other extenuating circumstances it was really very lazy and thoughtless of your parents not to teach you to swim when you were small. It would have been very easy for you to learn then. They have done you a disservice and made your life less rich by not teaching you something the vast majority of people do simply just teach their kids. You have missed out on a lot; you just don’t realise.

I can’t believe people are reducing essential skills down to just the very basic things that keep you alive! I mean what kind of life is that.

But the only essentials in life are food, water & some form of shelter so it could be said using the word essential is lazy if it is not one of these

We arranged swimming lessons so they can swim not once have we ever thought they are essential though

I learnt to ride a bike when I was young but we moved to quite a hilly area in my pre teens and after one bad experience I never went for a bike ride. I went on a bike for the first time since primary with my my inlaws but my balance was shot and as a result I couldn't get out of their yard. They were lovely but it was quite embarrassing.

I basically had to re learn to ride a bike as an adult after DP bought me a bike for my birthday and whilst I am ok for leisurely ride on a flat cycle trail I will never be able to use it for active transport, unlike DP who biked everywhere as a child/teen.

I wouldn’t say it’s an essential life skill but it’s certainly a basic life skill. I think it’s a parents responsibility to ensure their children are able to ride a bike, swim and drive a car. I think you’re hindering them if they don’t develop these skills.

Like the op, I live in an area where it is not possible to cycle safely from our house. If we wanted to bike, we would need to put bikes on the car, drive 30 minutes and then do a bike ride and drive back.

when dc were little, we did that at weekends to teach her but it was bloody hard work. DC1 could cycle at 8 but hasn’t in 10 years. DC2 never learned as a kid (hated it) but decided at 14 she wanted to learn so I organised a bike and she did.

you can’t force people to cycle if the local environment isn’t safe for it. Let dc know you’ll help if they want to learn but it isn’t essential.

The fact some people can't do it doesn't mean it isn't a very useful life skill. Essential is a matter of judgement.

It's really helpful and fun to be able to ride a bike. It's a bit of a shame not to give a kid the chance to learn it.

Not much common sense needed to know that being able to swim can save your life

Cycling, not comparable.

It's always the same on these threads. MN is generally anti-cyclist, plus I suspect that many mothers think that cycling is beneath their kids, or too dangerous, or too strenuous, some other daft excuse.

Cycling is very useful, for transport, exercise and leisure, but it’s not potentially going to save your life like swimming. But as serious cyclists say, if your teenager is into cycling, they’ll have no money for drugs…