Make 9 year old learn to ride a bike?

[SherbettAnna]

So DS is 9 now and hasn’t had a bike since he was about 4-5 (with training wheels) and he had a balance bike aged about 4.

We don’t live somewhere where he can just ‘ride his bike’ in the garden or outside the home. A bike wouldn’t fit in my little car so we would be limited to walking to a nice area he could ride to (I would walk him) once per week at the weekend. Wouldn’t be able to ride to school.

He isn’t bothered about a bike.
(He swims/ plays football x2 per week so it’s not like he’s not active).

I don’t know if I should spend money on a bike so he can learn to ride it eventually by practicing every weekend - only as I think he should be able to ride a bike.

YABU- Don’t get him a bike.

YANBU- he is 9 he should be able to ride a bike GO AND BUY ONE

All opinions welcome thank you.

What do you class as an “essential life skill”? Something you literally cannot survive unless you’re able to do it? So eating, breathing and going to the toilet?

I think there are loads of “essential life skills” that yes, technically you can manage without them. You can technically manage without being able to budget. You can technically manage to live without being to hold down a job. You can technically manage to live without being able to cook. I mean, you can technically manage to live without being able to read. No one would argue that it’s still an essential life skill.

I’d argue it’s an essential life skill because there are a lot very normal and common life experiences you’ll miss out on, and a lot of opportunities you won’t be able to take. Also, it’s very easy to learn for most kids. I’ve taught many children to ride (my own and a large bunch of kids over the years at the school I work at).

I realise you have a vested interest in saying that but apart from water sports, what other activities would have to be avoided?

And I did the lessons as a kid but they never managed to teach me.

I can’t ride a bike and I’m in my 40s. It’s not something that’s ever come up.

We had nothing when I was a kid so bikes weren’t really a priority.

I can’t swim with either - what exactly should I have been avoiding all this time? Aside from being a twat around water?

For me it's less about it being essential but logically we have a local pool so swimming is a good family activity. We don't have any local places they can cycle apart from a bit in the park designated for small children so I'm less motivated for them to learn to cycle.

I haven’t taught swimming for many years so no vested interest anymore.

Any activity near water (even walking on a canal path) carries a risk that you may end up in the water should something go wrong.

I’m sorry you never learnt. It’s not too late if you wanted to.

Well it is too late for me really. If I couldn’t learn at 8, I certainly can’t learn at 55.

I work in a town with a river and canals, at no point has it been relevant. I’m genuinely curious to know what experience I am missing. What normal life experiences or opportunities will I be missing out on? It’s a genuine question as I have never had to turn anything down as a result.

Just to say @Anarchy99 my granny learnt to swim when she was 60, so not too late to learn.

Had she tried to learn before!

Lots of children can’t swim at 8 - they simply don’t all have the strength and coordination needed. Clearly you don’t want to and that’s up to you but unless there is more then it’s not a correct statement. Just don’t fall in any of those canals 😬

@Anarchy99 I can think of lots of things I've been able to try and mostly enjoyed, some of which became long term hobbies, which are enabled by being able to swim. e.g. sea kayaking; paddleboarding on lakes, rivers and the sea; river and ocean rowing; white water rafting; helping my kids learn to swim; lane swimming with my husband; swimming in the sea with my family on our holidays; swimming in the sea with my friends on beach days; taking part in swimming galas whilst at school; being able to do all the activities on my school's residential instead of sitting on the sidelines; going to pool parties as a kid; snorkelling; body-boarding with my kids; having surfing lessons.

I realise many of these things cost money, require being reasonably able-bodied, and I'm lucky to have be able to access many of these activities. Being open to trying new things (not exclusively water-based), and being able to try new things, is, I think, a normal life experience. If someone is able to swim, the subset of new things which require a basic competence in swimming, e.g. all manner of watersports, are opened up to them to try. I also work in an industry where team days / events are a fairly normal thing, and they not infrequently involve getting into a wetsuit somewhere along the way. If I couldn't swim, I'd have been sitting on the sidelines of these events, or not turning up at all.

Is swimming an essential life skill? No, and I don't think I've ever claimed it is (though I appreciate others on this thread have). Is it a useful enabler of further opportunities? Yes, and I would have missed out on some useful opportunities and many very enjoyable opportunities if I couldn't swim. There are good substitutes for many of those opportunities (loads of other sports / activities / hobbies and pastimes), but not all, e.g. directly being involved in helping my kids become good swimmers, and being able to network at corporate team days which unfortunately aren't always designed to be inclusive.

or course people get by without knowing how to ride a bike and some people physically can’t but not people able to do so does limit opportunities. Why would you knowingly do that if you don’t have to.

Fair enough, it’s been useful for your lifestyle so of course you are very pro.

I guess a lot of it is lifestyle or location based (although I did spend the day on a canal boat once - luckily I didn’t fall in 🤣)

I don’t have kids and don’t go on holiday so it’s never actually come up (school residentials weren’t a thing when I was there - they took us camping in Wales and pretty much left us to it 🤣)

I didn’t realise that - I thought it was something that was easier as a child.

I don’t have great coordination so that might have been the issue - I could do the movements but didn’t go anywhere! Same with driving - I could operate a car but couldn’t cope with reacting to traffic etc.

I’m ND and my brain overanalyses things so rather than just react I think about things - my driving instructor very kindly explained that that was why I was probably never going to get through the test 🤣

Id have had a bloody long walk to school if I didn't have a bike.

I don’t think so but she always regretted not learning, so took some lessons.

Fair enough.

I read somewhere, can't remember where, that you're more likely to drown if you can swim. I have no idea if it's true but I imagine it's to do with overconfidence if it is true.

Just googled it, some studies seem to show swimmers more likely to drown and some saying it's non swimmers.

To be fair I'm only confident of my ability to swim in a pool. No idea how well I'd swim if I fell of a boat.

I suppose swimmers are more likely to actually go swimming* so more risk of drowning just from more opportunity, but if you pushed both a swimmer and a non-swimmer off a pier, the non-swimmer is more likely to drown.

*also more likely to do stupid risky things when swimming like when I decided to move a rock out of the way from where people jump in the lake from the swimming jetty. I didn't want anyone to hit their head on the rock (kids dive) so I dived down and picked up the rock to move it and obviously it was too heavy for me to actually swim back up to the surface with, and it took me a worryingly long time to realise I should let go of the rock and go breathe! I did manage to toss it to the side so it was less in the way, but I didn't try moving rocks underwater again!

Does he want to ride a bike?
By 9 if they wanted to most would already be able to do so.

Yeah, it’s a bit like saying people who can drive are more likely to crash a car and people who can walk are more likely to trip, and people who can eat are more likely to choke. There is an element of risk associated with swimming.

However, there is a huge difference between “people who can swim” and people who are truly water safe. I definitely think many people can swim and overestimate their ability, but water safe people can swim, but understand how to take precautions. I’m a former swimming teacher and a very strong swimmer. I once saved someone’s life in the ocean. But I still wear a life jacket on our canoe trips and would never swim alone. I know about cold water shock and float to live. Everyone who can swim should also be water safe, and understand their limitations.

Just seen this thread and realised I didn’t update!

Well thank you all for the advice I did buy him the bike and when the weather was good I juggled my work hours to get out to do nearly 2 full weeks of daily trying and then when we can. He can ride it ‘ok’ and gets better each time we go out and it’s a skill that’s there forever once mastered.

Thank you.

Oh I am glad you found a way!

Yup definitely a difference between water safe and not. Most of the drownings in my country are due to people not being water safe, thanks to alcohol. The typical drownee is a middle aged or older man, who is drunk, and decides to go out on a boat on the lake, without a life jacket of course. Then perhaps needs a piss and stupidly stands up in a small boat to wee off the side and falls in, then either cold water shock or too drunk to climb back in the boat.
The newer type of death is sadly immigrants who didn't learn to swim in their home countries but want to join in normal summer activities here which tend to centre around water. But thankfully efforts are being made to teach them with adult swimming lessons (not something traditionally needed here as everyone learnt as a child)