AIBU asking teacher to stop giving sweets?

[H930]

My DS is in Y1 at an independent school (relevant as I’m sure this would never be allowed in a state school but of course private schools have more freedom). He is absolutely thriving there and has a wonderful teacher - she is kind, full of energy and creativity and seems to genuinely love the children.

However…..the children are given sweets throughout the day as a reward/incentive. It tends to be jelly tots or similar, only one at a time, but I think having them several times a day means the children’s teeth are continually coated in sugar and these particular sweets are very sticky, unlike eg chocolate which melts away more easily.

I really, really do not want to upset this lovely teacher or come across as a controlling parent, and of course I don’t want my DS to feel he is missing out! But I worry about his teeth anyway and recently he says one of them hurts (we have a dentist appointment booked).

AIBU to ask the teacher not to give my son sweets, even if he is the only one in the class??

Gosh, is she older? That’s a lot of sweets!

I worry about how parents feel if I give out one little egg at Easter! (The kind of thumbnail size 10 in a net bag thing)

I have made all the points I need to make. One can’t argue with someone who’s clearly thick as a brick.

I can assure you there is no line in the budget for teacher chosen class rewards, especially sweets, even at an independent school!

They will know because a dentist will tell them if they have “naturally weak teeth”. Which my dentist never did. That’s is because I don’t - and no dentist in adulthood has ever told me I do, either.

I have poor teeth because my parents continued to let me eat too many sweets and drink too many fizzy drinks - even after my adult teeth came in and even after warning signs were there after I needed a filling in an adult tooth at 8 years old.

They were irresponsible and negligent in that regard.

This is not a minor issue in any way, shape or form!!! Sugar is literally poison to the body! Sugar is the most addictive substance on the planet and causes more deaths than cociane, heroin and all other controlled substances combined. OP is absolutely right that sugar is being put into mouths and bathing their teeth in it several times a day 5 days a week, which will 100% lead to addiction and tooth decay. Brusing morning and evening will not prevent tooth decay in children with that consistency of sugar intake. Any dentist will tell you that is the most terrible thing that can be done if you want healthy teeth. No wonder he has tooth pain.

Associating sugar with rewards is a terrible message and learne behaviour to instill in a child, especially by a teacher when a parent is not looking!

Not to mention that it will most certainly be creating an addiction to sugar in all the children and setting them up for a lifetime of sugar dependance. The headmaster will be blissfully unaware, that is certain. This teacher needs to be re-educated as they are been exceptionally irresponsible... You are correct though, schools should school, but they SHOULD NOT be feeding children sugar. It is not their place. As soon as the head teacher is aware it will be stopped.

I enjoy sugar as much as the next person, I am no killjoy, but I have seen many people in my lifetime suffer in many different ways due to over consumption of sugar over a prolongeed period of time, this teacher sickens me and needs to be stopped.

You are absolutely right OP, but speaking with the teacher is not enough, the head teach should be made aware.

I don't feel this is a matter for singling out your child, the head teacher needs to be made aware and asked for their thoughts/comments, perhaps on email. I guarantee it will be nipped in the bud immediately.

Cavities are the least of your concern at this point. Long term addiction and associating sugar with reward leading to long term health issues is a major risk here, especially with children. Once it is stopped they will likely all enter withdrawal and it will be a week of hell and bad behaviour for the teacher, but all will be resolved by week 2, lol.

I’d be very cross about a teacher giving sweets!!!

Terrible for the kids teeth! This is an awful way to incentivise good behaviour and I would absolutely say something!

My degree, Masters and successful business suggest that's not actually the case.

I would argue that someone who has no response in an argument other than resorting to insults is probably 'thick as a brick'.

WOW - you must be SO CLEVER! I stand corrected.

However, I assume none of those VERY impressive qualifications is in dentistry, which makes the utter claptrap you’ve speculated about my dental health even more ludicrous.

No one has said that. Have you tried engaging your brain and using critical thinking / instead of exaggerating and being ridiculous.

A kid having a sweet because they did well on a test isn’t all day everyday is it.

And another uneducated person who doesn’t understand the effect of constant sugar on the teeth. It’s like acid eroding the enamel and can cause lots of issues.

a bit ad hoc is fine. But constantly throughout the day is not.

this why it’s advised that squash/fizz etc is drunk with a meal so it all goes down together. It’s even advised to have a bag of sweets in one go rather than spread out to give the mouth a break.

The OP says the kids are being given sweets several times a day throughout the day…

For all the uneducated out there, attached is the advice.

As parents, we have a responsibility to care for our children’s health - including their oral health.

”The more often we eat sugary foods, the more at risk we are”.

If this teacher is giving sweets several times a day, the bacteria in the mouth produce are constantly breaking down that sugar, producing acid and lowering the PH in the mouth. The saliva takes a certain length of time to get back to neutral PH. Another sweet in the same day - another time the environment in the mouth reaches a lower PH. All this increases the risk of tooth decay as the mouth is more often acidic, which is what starts to erode enamel. That’s why (as PPs have said) it’s better to have sweets all in one go rather than grazing on them.

Why would you run that unnecessary risk? As someone who has suffered dental pain as an adult - a significant contributing factor being parental negligence in respect of managing risks to oral health - I simply cannot fathom it.

Exactly. That's why dentists say you shouldn't eat more often than 4 or 5 times in a day (meals and snacks and non-water drinks) so that the teeth can recover.

Update for anyone who’s interested - I spoke to the teacher today and asked if it would be possible not to give out sweets. She was lovely about it and said she would give stickers instead. I have asked my son not to choose sweets from the treasure chest and to choose a toy instead (he is quite happy to do this and has said himself that if he chooses a toy it’s better because he can keep it forever!)

Thank you again to all those who offered sensible points of view!

Well handled @H930and really positive outcome. Well done.

Well done!!!!! A brilliant outcome after an extremely reasonable concern.