AIBU to think primary schools should not audition children for choirs?

[LovelyBranches]

Dd is 9 and loves singing. She goes to her school choir after school group and goes to signing lessons outside of school. She has competed (and won) at the Eisteddfod.

Yesterday she came home from school very upset, unbeknownst to us she had auditioned for a place in her choirs Christmas show which will be on tv. She didn’t get in. There were 3 children in her year that didn’t get in. DD was devastated and very upset about it.

Today she came home upset because the teachers had taken the new choir group to practice and DD had no one in her usual friendship group to eat with. She ended up eating with another girl in her class who hasn’t been very nice to her recently.

I feel really upset for DD, she sings all the time and will tell anyone who listens how she wants to work in the theatre when she is older. I am aware that the school probably had a limited number of places but I feel like they should have given places to all year 6 and year 5 pupils rather than what they did which was allow year 6 and pick selectively between year 5 and 4.

AIBU to think that schools shouldn’t have auditions for choirs at primary school level.

Which child should be kicked out for your child to be included?

I really appreciate this. Thank you. I would be fine if my daughter wasn’t included if the rest of her year group weren’t, but to make 15 kids audition and then say that 3 aren’t good enough is really awful for my dd, and has made her feel rubbish.

I’d be happy for my child not to be included if the rest of her class weren’t.

Positive discrimination is actually unlawful (google).

So no child should get the chance because your daughter wasn't chosen this one time? You are starting to sound like a horrible person wanting no child to have anything if yours doesn't come first.

You can't really believe that everyone should be chosen for everything they try out for, when you are entering your dd in such things as Eisteddfods, where there is only one winner in each category. Your dd has won there, so that mean others weren't chosen as the winners.
This is a time when you should be upping your parenting game a bit and helping her understand that it is fine to be disappointed, but there will be other competitions, and other opportunities, and that her not getting selected for something doesn't mean she 'has been excluded'. It just means that on this occasion, she wasn't selected for something that obviously has finite numbers.

So you would be ok for everyone to miss out because your daughter didn’t make the cut for this one thing. Isn’t that a bit unfair on everyone else?

So because YOUR daughter wasn't accepted, you would be happy for nobody else to have the opportunity?

I agree, it’s a good way of explaining the difference.

I laugh now looking back at it but I was left out of the school choir at age 11. It was me along with about 4 other kids in my year group out of around 40. (2 classes of 20)

I wasn’t even someone who sang loudly that my tunelessness would’ve ruined things lol

I admittedly am a terrible singer but what harm would it have been to let me come along? I was not bothered at the time as I was well aware how horrible a singer I was, my best friend was also excluded and I had various other talents. BUT, I can see how most kids in that situation would be hurt - so for that reason I don’t think it’s a good idea.

Selectings say a third of the class or even half to do a competition or event is one thing but leaving just 3 people out doesn’t sit well with me.

So because you daughter can't take part, you want to take it away from all of the children in her class?

No it’s not in relation to Disability, it was one of the original pieces of the Disability Discrimination Act that was carried over into the Equality Act

I think if there were only 3 children out of however many who auditioned that didn't get in, that feels very weird and unfair in a school environment. Surely it would have made more sense to let three more children in, or have three understudies or something, who could practice with the rest of the choir and be on hand in case someone is sick in 9 months. Would three children really make that much difference? On the other hand, as someone in a creative career, if your daughter really wants to pursue a singing/theatre career, she will sooner or later have to face the reality that constant rejection with bits of occasional success is the name of the game.

So, you want your daughter to be in the choir based on her disability now? Have you thought maybe the ones picked were better than your daughter, hence they got picked?

There will be other children in year 5 that also weren't selected. @LovelyBranches has refused to answer how many of them were excluded.

For all any of us know the names were drawn out of a hat because the numbers were limited.

No, I am wanting my daughter to be included because her friends were.

However if I were the teacher, I would have included all of year 5&6 before allowing year 4. Instead the teachers allowed all of year 6 and put in an audition for year 4and 5. I don’t know how many were rejected in year 5, but 3 were rejected in year 4

And do the parents of children not being given multiple solo opportunities make the same fuss as you?

You said its going on TV. There will be so many logistics the school will have to think of and numbers will be one of them.

If she is going to work in the theatre she is going to have to get very very very used to rejection.

You seem committed to misunderstanding me. Please go back and read where I have said that I do not expect my daughter to get a place because of her disability.

You keep saying about her friends being included but it's not a valid reason.

My friends are slim enough to be models. Unfortunately, I like food too much and don't match them. If they were to to photographed aa models, I couldn't throw a tantrum and demand to be photographed too because they are.

Unfortunately, life doesn't work like that.

She’s 9. She’s a long way from having a job. She wants to go to her school choir and sit with her friends at lunch

Maybe not as many Year 5's wanted to do it? It will very likely be purely a numbers thing they have to stick too. Especially regarding TV.

Your daughter will get the chance again in Year 5 and it sounds like she'll definitely get to do it in Year 6 no matter what.

OP ask the teacher if there is room for her to be included. Maybe they dont know how upset she is.

Although it sounds like.there were limited numbers and she just wasn't quite good enough. No harm in asking though!

Please read the thread again. My daughter goes to an outside school singing group. She can’t go to gym, or dance like her friends so she goes to singing.

It is in the outside school group that they give her solo’s. In school she doesn’t want a solo, she wants to be a member of the choir.

This is the first time the school have ever had the opportunity to be on this tv show. It’s not an annual thing, it’s an ad hoc opportunity