AIBU to think primary schools should not audition children for choirs?

[LovelyBranches]

Dd is 9 and loves singing. She goes to her school choir after school group and goes to signing lessons outside of school. She has competed (and won) at the Eisteddfod.

Yesterday she came home from school very upset, unbeknownst to us she had auditioned for a place in her choirs Christmas show which will be on tv. She didn’t get in. There were 3 children in her year that didn’t get in. DD was devastated and very upset about it.

Today she came home upset because the teachers had taken the new choir group to practice and DD had no one in her usual friendship group to eat with. She ended up eating with another girl in her class who hasn’t been very nice to her recently.

I feel really upset for DD, she sings all the time and will tell anyone who listens how she wants to work in the theatre when she is older. I am aware that the school probably had a limited number of places but I feel like they should have given places to all year 6 and year 5 pupils rather than what they did which was allow year 6 and pick selectively between year 5 and 4.

AIBU to think that schools shouldn’t have auditions for choirs at primary school level.

@LovelyBranches does your DD use a wheelchair now?

I had read your posts about the wheelchair as being in the past tense - ie she has been a wheelchair user, but isn’t anymore. If so a lot of posters are barking up the wrong tree.

But her daughter has external confirmation that she is good at singing

Unfortunately, this is life, sometimes you win, sometimes you don't.

Sorry if I have misunderstood what you are saying, there’s a lot of ableism on this thread and it’s starting to get difficult to track.

But that should, if anything, make it easier for them both to accept that, this time, she wasn't chosen for a specific thing. No one is suggesting she's bad at singing, only that, this time, it was other children's turn.

You are misinterpreting the poster @LovelyBranches .

Did the school actually audition the children?
Might she be too good for the choir? (she might be a budding Charlotte Church/Katherine Jenkins/Catherine Zeta Jones)
Might your daughter have been left out because of long absences for medical reasons?

Might your daughter have been left out because of her being in a wheelchair?

I'd clarify with the school and deal with it with then.

It would have helped if you'd not have drip-fed the details.

She has had periods where she needs to use it all the time, and periods where she manages without it. Currently she isn’t using a wheelchair but she will need to in the future again.

Ok so then the choir decision has absolutely nothing to do with her wheelchair?

@LovelyBranches isn't in a wheelchair.

DD has never had a single bad word said about her behaviour. In fact we had parents evening recently and her teacher said she is one of the best behaved. DD has a physical disability and has needed assistance during the time she’s been at school because she used to use a wheelchair and every teacher has always said what a kind and polite child she is.

Used to use a wheelchair.

The poster you quoted didn't say they were her views

Because she got a solo at a singing group where they all take turns at doing solos?

Does she though? An external community choir that anyone can join and gives solos to all of the children isn't confirmation any of them are good at singing.

I think you misunderstood @starray 's point OP. Read it again.

However, to all those banging on about 'resilience' or 'this is inevitable in a competitive process', you are missing the point.

This is not the Westminster Cathedral Choir ffs! It a small rural primary school.

Yes they are entitled to select for a choir after audition. But choosing 15 out of 18 - ie, leaving 3 out - IS NOT WORTH THE SELECTION PROCESS. Any teacher with an ounce of intelligence would grasp this surely? If you're only going to exclude 3, just take them all ffs. Why bother doing this pretence of 'auditions?'

At this age, none of them are going to be that exceptional. Plus it's a choir - the whole point of which is that the voices blend in.

You would think teachers would know, more than anyone, that at this age, enthusiasm and commitment to singing are going to carry far more weight than any perceived 'extra talent' of one child's voice over another.

What they should have done is only auditioned the choir - ie. those with a proven interest in singing.

It sounds like there will now be kids selected who are thinking "why do I now have to attend lunch rehearsals - for 9 months?!! I'm not even in the choir. I'd rather be out playing football or generally elsewhere."

Even then, if they only auditioned the choir, they shouldn't have left only 3 out. They should have selected no more than half. That is a competitive process worth doing and that children can understand, even if disappointed. But leaving only 3 out is just plain nasty. It's not a lesson in 'resilience' for the DD - more like a lesson in how not to behave as an adult!

You are correct, I did misunderstand and I have said sorry.

If DC drawn out of a hat it is fair. If they picked favourite DC not fair.

Adults absolutely deal with rejection in their hobbies. I do am dram and frequently try out for a role and don't get it. My Mum is an artist and often one of her art groups will hold an exhibition- not everyone will get a chance to display a painting or artwork.

Perhaps your DD just had a bad day and didn't audition well- just like anyone who has been jobseeking has had a bad interview when the stars just didn't align. As others have said, this is going to be a very common occurrence if DD wants to work in theatre. Frequent rejection is part of the job. Perhaps you could frame this as meaning that DD now has free time and energy to seek other opportunities.

I thought she said she sang outside like in a club, clubs that you pay for are not a confirmation of talent. Or maybe she’s ok but the other were better.

It is for a TV show though. The school/teachers aren't going to be allowed to dictate what the TV show is looking for such as how many children, ages etc.

From a teacher’s point of view, I’ve seen so many special events during my teaching career have been quietly phased out because of parents like the OP.

A lot of the people running these kind of things, concerts, musicals, sports teams, plays etc. are volunteers or underpaid teachers going above and beyond their contracted hours.

When you release the list of successful students after auditions, and then the next month is spent fielding angry phone calls and meetings from parents about why their child wasn’t chosen, you better believe that they will decide that it’s simply not worth their time and effort anymore.

So how will the year 6 kids who are leaving the school in the summer still be able to practice when it’s a Christmas show and they’ll be in year 7 and at other schools?

But that is fine if she didn’t have to audition but the point of auditioning is that the best are chosen.

Christmas shows are rarely filmed at Christmas.

It won't be a live show. It will be recorded months in advance like almost all Christmas TV shows.

The OP says her daughter has competed and won. I can’t imagine if her daughter was absolutely terrible she would have won.

She was part of the school choir that won.

Unless there is another admission/drip feed, the same school choir that allows any child that wants to, join. The same school that has now run auditions for a TV choir and OPs daughter wasn't chosen.