A genuine or accidentally-on-purpose email sent by mistake?

[roses19837]

Yesterday I saw that DH received a what appears to be obviously an accidental email from a former, younger female employee. The email was addressed to a group, staring 'hi all,' and from what I could see, was all about writing content for a website. Nothing to do with what DH does. DH just left the email, didn't reply, and went back to his inbox. He never mentioned it to me, but why would he? A silly accidental email is no piece of news really...

This employee left the company after an internship with my DH's business last summer.

As a bit of background, most of DH's work was from home, so he didn't see this woman in person all that often.

I used to suspect that DH was a bit too chatty and familiar with this young woman, although he never contacted her inappropriately outside of work. I met her several times when I went with DH to the office, and he always seemed smily and enthralled with her and what she was saying, which I did have words with him about, and he did later tone this down.

I wonder whether this girl 'accidentally on purpose' sent this email, in an attempt to strike up a conversation with DH? If so, would it be worth me telling DH to block her? I did used to wonder whether she liked the attention he gave her before I had words with him (she seems like the kind of young woman who would like attention, always dressed immaculately and hair styled etc). I could of course just be overthinking this

She doesn't want your husband or his old balls.

She's doing it for engagement, contacts, career advancement. Why on earth do you think your husband is so special that she's concocted this whole thing for him?

The more I read the more I think your husband was the problem and she was probably just trying to get in good with her boss so she could get a good reference as an intern. If your middle aged husband can’t stop leering at his intern and checking her out he’s the problem. I don’t know what to tell you - forbid him from hiring women I guess?

I wonder whether this girl 'accidentally on purpose' sent this email, in an attempt to strike up a conversation with DH?

What an odd thought process that is.

Did you read the bit of background information I gave though - DH leering and acting fascinated in her, her seeming to enjoy the attention? That's why I suspected (not saying I am right) the woman might have been sneakily trying to initiate a conversation with my DH.

The email was probably genuinely intended for the other recipients, but it was clearly irrelevant to my DH's business.

@GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf Of course I don't want to prevent DH from every hiring women; over the 27 years of his business, he's worked with multiple women, and he hasn't been flirtatious to my knowledge.

I hope I never come across your husband’s linked in profile in case I look like the type to ‘enjoy the attention’. You trust him or you don’t. His letching is a couple problem not her problem. This is mental!

She probably just knows more than one Matthew and put in the wrong one’s email.

He's leering at her and that makes you think she's "sneakily ' trying to initiate a conversation with him. Sounds like he needs a disaplinary, grim

You really do have paranoia issues.

Your reasons for thinking she's after your husband is because she dresses well and does her her hair for work. THAT'S WHAT PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE DO!!

And because when they worked together and he started a conversation she would continue it rather than shutting it down. THAT'S WHAT COLLEAGUES DO!!

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Come on OP, can't you see that's absolutely baseless?

I dread to think how many times I must have unknowingly been excused of chasing someone's husband just because I've worn a nice top and brushed my hair!🤦🏻‍♀️

How often were you around your husbands work to see their interactions? That’s weird in itself

I actually don't think it's controlling to tell your DH that his leering at a much younger, much junior employee is inappropriate. I'm glad he modified his behaviour. I think you are unreasonable to blame her and claim she enjoyed his attention. It was probably difficult for her to tell him to fuck off when she's an intern and he is the boss.

This woman has given you no indication whatsoever that she’s after your husband or that she’s even after attention.

Women can make an effort with hair and make up and not do it to get attention from men.

Women can be chatty and friendly without trying to be flirty or get something more.

The issue here is your insecurities, and not this lady who has done nothing wrong at all.

You sound like the poster upset at a woman for talking to her DH on a plane. Utterly batshit crazy.

i feel sorry for your DH

youre crazy

I read ‘the bit of background information’ and I’m afraid it just made you sound weirder and madder.

Unbelievable! If my dh imtimated that there was a level at which I was able to laugh & joke to another male colleague he'd be out on his ear!
And how insulting to the young lady that she dresses well & is well groomed just for men. It's not the 1950's you know!

Or she was using him to get ahead,
probably way more likely.

He probably did find her a breath of fresh air, attractive and if she was a good worker simply wanted to help her.
If she wanted to get in contact she could’ve just emailed him directly.

You seem very controlling, unless your work place is the same workplace why on earth were you taking your dogs in there and hanging around. His work emails should be confidential too strictly speaking. If there was a full on affair suspected, yes I’d snoop. But you have zero evidence of that.
Doesn’t everyone have a certain amount of ‘chit chat’. It just reads very OTT considering he’s done as you asked and she’s left! Sounds embarrassing.

Why would she enjoy attention from someone 20 years her senior who was (to use your words) leering, staring at her, gawping, was fascinated by her, giving her "special treatment", mooning over her.

As someone who's been in that position before, she didn't enjoy the attention. She realised she was on an internship and didn't feel able to tell him to piss off and stop being a creepy old man because he was the business owner. That she left the business after the internship says a lot.

This woman is innocent and your DH is the office creep.

@roses19837 I don’t think you are understanding what people are saying. If you are worried about this woman contacting your husband, something is making you feel insecure about the friendship that was developing between them. Therefore you either don’t trust your husband, or you feel this woman is after him.
If you think this was just a friendship, why can’t they be friends, maybe your husband just found her interesting and they connected in a way that he hasn’t with other employees. As she is not working for him anymore, what is the worry about them being in contact?

Your poor DH. Stop this, think about what you’re saying and what you’re asking your DH to do, based on nothing.

I don’t know if I’d like it tbh.
Sounds like dh had a crush on her while they were working together, op had to speak to her dh about being inappropriate and overstepping. Once she left the business it obviously fizzled out. Now she’s popped back up on his e mail.
Dh May have ignored the e mail at the time, but he can always reply later.
We are always being told to trust our gut and nip this in the bud on here.

Either this woman added your husband in error or she's sent the email to every contact she has, regardless if the content is relevant to them or not. If she's promoting a business, then she's liking sent the email to all her contacts...no your husband might not be in the industry she's promoting, but someone he knows might be!

I certainly don't see her sending the email to your husband deliberately, in the hope of starting a conversation with him! I'm not really sure how your thought process has arrived at this.

No, you can't ask your husband to 'block' her. For what reason? Your reason isn't logical. Your husband hasn't replied to this woman, by your own admission.

You either trust your husband or you don't. There's no in-between.

This girl is not the problem. Your DH is, surely.

Why tolerate him “leering”? You talk like your DH is a victim here suggesting that this girl is “sneakily” trying to lure him in (Actually, your misogyny is also a big part of the problem)

When in reality if the emailed was sent to a load of people it was probably just an accident. I’ve done it, it happens all the time.