What fresh hell is this

[eggsandsourdough]

High school!!

DD started last year and jesus fucking christ what a rollercoaster.

The transition has been absolutly brutal, not so much for my DD in the sense she made a huge group of friends but the sheer drama, behaviour,shocking stories.

My lovely, kind empathetic grl has turned into a monster.

I was not ready!! What a humbling experience.

I feel you on this, I have two boys then a girl. My boys sailed through high school, no drama. DD is now S3 and had 3 different best friends following dramatic fallouts by halfway through S2. Girl friendships are insane.

I work in an all girls school, it’s wild! Year 9 is the worst, after that most of them turn a corner and become lovely humans. I love working with the seniors (16 and 17 year olds)!

I have 3 boys but didn’t really get this - is it a girl thing?

I bet it’s fascinating?

I work in a First school so children from Foundation to Year 4...the Year 4's, without fail, come Easter, suddenly turn into feral, emotional, sulky children! The girls squabble constantly, and the boys seem to become argumentive and they all become 'too big for their boots'!! It's hell until they leave in July!! 🤣🤣 I couldn't work in a secondary school!! 😱😱

I do not know as i only have 3 girls so cant compare 😂

But from what ive been told girls are deemed much harder than boys at this stage, but maybe they are equally as challenging just in different ways.

By the sounds of it boy and girls mums are in the trenches.

DS was awful from about 12 to 15. Then he turned 16 and he’s an absolute joy again, it does get better!

I had the most wonderful parents , the most privileged life and yet I was a full on angsty teenage emo ! Would listen to all this very emotionally heavy music (I still do to be honest) and truly thought I had it all so hard. What I would do to go back to such easy days!!!

My year 7 DD has def changed since starting high school.

She was mostly OK at primary and was happy and sociable, she enjoyed taking part in activities including dancing. Since high school, she's become more awkward. Hates the noisy atmosphere. Doesnt like speaking out in class, wont do presentations and her concentration in most classes has got worse. She started her periods just before high school aswell, so she's had a lot of change in a short space of time. She def seems grumpier lately. Ah the fun of pubity.

My three girls were never rude or unkind to me during those hellish years but I still struggled with their friends, the teachers, the other parents and their father. The day my youngest left and I was free was genuinely one of the happiest of my life. And that was in the very early days of social media.

All I can say is to have faith that the wonderful person who is your child is still in there, needing you more than ever. She’ll be back. Just make sure she knows you are always on her side. Good luck 🙂

Mum of 5 here. Yr 9 we lovingly refer to as the ‘dickhead’ year as mine just became raging bags of hormones with attitudes, friend dramas, suddenly interested in the opposite sex which causes even more dramas and then shot up to roughly 8ft high ‘independent’ semi adults who still always need a lift somewhere and a tenner to go with it 🤣🤦🏼‍♀️ challenging but it does calm down

I found it all got much better when they leave home😂

Year 7 was horrific for my DD-I watched my confident, quirky, friendly girl shrink into herself and try to be like everyone else was-all the girls were jostling for friendship groups and it was just brutal . They were horrible to each other. It all seemed to settle a bit by year 8, and she’s year 9 now with a solid group of friends who just get on with their own thing.
The stories she comes home with tho 😨 I have to keep reminding myself they’re only 14, some of this stuff I didn’t even know about until I was 18 or older 😮

This is the warm up for year 9!

My daughter is 6 weeks old and I’m already dreading this stage 😂 sending you love, my mom is going through the exact same now with my 13 year old sister

Solidarity - I have DSs in Year 7 and Year 9 and I am struggling!!! I cried last night in bed and I NEVER cry.

Mine never returned to ‘normal’. She’s 25 now and I miss her so much. Can’t look at childhood photos because it’s too devastating. We were so close.

We're currently at the coalface of dd1 in year 8, please tell me it won't get worse!! Don't kill my delusion 😵😵‍💫

Y9 was what killed me in teacher training. Boys school, so apparently worse than all girls and/or co-ed, but I decided it wasn’t for me after a term with them. My kids hit walls in y9 with bullying/friendship dynamics, classroom disruption. Wish school and parents could have more guidance about how to manage this age group, they made a swarm of rabid zombies seem quite manageable and benign by comparison!

I have a DD in S2 and it's brutal. Thankfully she doesn't get in trouble at school, has an okay group of friends (not the worst from what i hear) but her as a person, completely changed.
Her attitude is rotten :-(

3, now adult DC (30, 21&19 BBG), from a small sample group, I think girls have a far harder secondary school experience than boys. I was fortunate DD was a fairly strong character because around year 9 a lot of her friend group seemed to change dramatically.

Many seemed to lose interest in the academic side of school and only cared about being cool and the male species.

DD always had a career goal and knew she'd need 8&9s at GCSE. It must have been hard for her, but she changed her entire friend group with a much smaller (less popular) one from her science classes. They went on to 6th form together (the old friend group seem to be working in shops), and are still close, regularly visiting each other at university or meeting up if they're home at the same time.

You are right that it's awful. I think I was fortunate DD didn't turn into a monster or typical teen, but I did see it a lot in others.

Really?
My year 7 DS just got really tall, found a decent group of mates, got a girlfriend, got a deep voice, grew hair everywhere and stinks.
He has been earmarked for prefect and head boy when he gets there.
Luckily he showers 2x daily, but otherwise he’s his usual lovely self, apart from the autism rages which he can’t help and he always apologises for.
Mind you, his secondary is amazing and super supportive which he’s never had from a school before, so maybe that’s still to come?

My daughter had a much harder time in S1 than (so far) S2... S1 was a wild time (she's also autistic so soooo much change and sooo much drama was a lot). I think just being used to the carnage made for a better year this time (fingers crossed!!)

Year 7 was painful, year 9 they all seem to become defiant monsters. Year 10 and 11 all smooth!

It's easier when they go to Uni. I struggled with sixth form. The change in pressure from the school from GCSE's to A levels is tough on kids, then add in learning to drive and the worry of them getting home in their mate's cars, girlfriends, boyfriends, UCAS, work experience, part time jobs...its all alot which leads to grumpy DC imo