Things I haven't said out loud this week

[Nam3ChangeAgain]

I will go first!
You are literally the only person that thinks you are amazing! I had to suffer you for years until I wised up! Even your own kids are starting to see you are a dick. You think giving them money makes you a good dad? Try actually spending time with them and getting to know them you you lazy prick!

You are an unpleasant, bullying old bat. Just because you had a hard time being a Mum and housewife in the 70s doesn't justify how vile and aggressive you still are to us all. No wonder you don't have any friends.

I had the last word and it feels bloody marvellous. Fook off to the back of fook off then fook off some more.

You're kind of cute

It's weirding me out that I find you cute because you're roughly 10-15 years my junior.

Omg I am actually just about old enough to be one of those "ooooh, young man" sad, creepy old ladies

Still nice, to have someone pleasant to look at for a brief daily interaction at my boring AF job.

Haha, she does doesn't she.

Mumsnet is, frankly, beneath her 😄

So annoying isn’t it, especially when always on their phone!

Said about myself, but only in my head.....

WTF made you think you can hang three doors by yourself armed only with a chisel and a YouTube video? You've been watching too many GenX videos babbling on about how we were the 'figure it out' generation.

The more I hear about your break-up, the more I can see why he dumped you, and frankly his new girlfriend sounds great and is probably someone I'd get on really well with.

Thank you for stopping to let me out, but I'm still going to wait until there's no traffic the other way because I don't want to die! And frenzied gesturing to pull out in front of said traffic will not make me any or willing to do so.

I'm sorry to hear about your medical symptoms; they sound worrying and uncomfortable at the very least.
But I'm not medically qualified. There comes a point where homely solutions don't do the trick, and you have to find out whether you need medication, surgery, counselling, physiotherapy.......how do I know?
Don't just dismiss the suggestion of seeing your GP for starters by telling me that "doctors are useless"; they might surprise you if you gave them half a chance, and let's face it, giving me the "organ recital" yet again is getting you nowhere.

Oh God, this! Please, just do something, anything, with some purpose. You will never get better if you don't change anything. And I can't rely on you.

Your establishment caused me so much hassle when they died, I've told you over the years they were dead. They're dead so stop asking me if they're attending your poxy gathering.

This meeting could have been half as long if you weren't so damn fond of your own voice.

You have been going deaf for several years now, stop denying it and go to the bloody doctor

Nope. I’m not taking anything else on, you have several other people to ask for help but I’m the one that doesn’t complain and does it immediately. I think I need to step back now, I’m burnt out.

Because I don't enjoy spending time with you. That's why I didn't invite you.

You're angry, miserable, judgemental and that fun sense of humour you had years ago has long since left you and all that is left is an angry person who has pretty much everything she's ever wanted and yet consistently moans about every detail of life.

Please also step messaging me with all of your "problems" because it's exhausting trying my best to help someone who just argued with every suggestion I make.

You're wasting your life, spending all day lying on the bed watching shit. Im totally over worrying to work out what you're annoyed about this time, it's something new every day or too. Everything about you irritated me and I don't really see how we're in a relationship any more. Just two people living separate lives in the same house

You have the rest of your life to be arse, why not take a week off?

I’m glad I don’t have to listen to what part of your body is broken on a daily basis anymore. Or the results of your constant googling about which ache or pain is going to cause your early death. It’s health anxiety. It’s draining and you never listened to any of my suggestions which could have made you feel better anyway. You’re not dying.
But when your DC stops visiting as much because you’re driving them insane as well you’ll see how empty and lonely your life is. By then it’ll be too late as you’ll have pushed everyone away.

Why do you put up with it? I don’t know a single person who doesn’t think he’s abusive.

Toodaloo mother truckers!

You are a horrible, nasty, nasty woman.
And your daughter is a nasty little bully too.
Your husbands yellow jumper looks vile too.

I’m really proud of myself for seemingly having reached a period of wellness and stability after the past year of abject hell. I’d like to reduce my medications but I know what kind of reception I’d get if I tell anyone, so I have to just think this, rather than say it out loud.

If our circumstances were reversed and my children were treating you the same way as yours are treating me, I’d be utterly disgusted and so ashamed of them. I wouldn’t be standing back and letting them.

Love this!

I know someone did something horrible to you.

I'm not supposed to know so I can't say anything.

But I also know that my name (among others) came up when you were trying to work out who did the horrible thing.

And I desperately want to tell you that it was not me. I would never do that to you.

But I can't say anything and it's driving me mad that I can't defend myself.