Things I haven't said out loud this week

[Nam3ChangeAgain]

I will go first!
You are literally the only person that thinks you are amazing! I had to suffer you for years until I wised up! Even your own kids are starting to see you are a dick. You think giving them money makes you a good dad? Try actually spending time with them and getting to know them you you lazy prick!

Next week if you are late again without good reason to our lunch we have had a table booked for, you can consider this to be the last time we meet up.
If you can make your medical appointments etc on time, then you can make it to the lunch less than 10 minutes from your home on time. I’ve tried talking to you about your lack of effort and it’s got worse not better. You wonder why so many friends have dropped you.

I gifted you money for your birthday that you asked for to make yourself something nice at the workshop. I find out weeks later you used the money to make something for your mum instead…. That is fucking weird, did I just buy your mum a Mother’s Day present? Is every word out of your mouth a lie? I’m also sure that you haven’t got a weekend away for £120 in July ARGH

Use some bloody headphones

If I mattered I think you would have remembered.

Sorry I'm late to your meeting. I don't really have an excuse to be honest, I was just dicking about on my phone.

No, it isn't a lovely dress. It's hideous. You have terrible taste in clothing and you are four sizes bigger than me so stop giving me your bloody cast-offs!

This is a pre-emptive strike.....brother(who I do love to bits) coming for the weekend.

"No, I am happy with a coffee. No thank you, I don't want scones, or cake, or chocolate biscuits, and neither do you, seeing as you ate a massive breakfast/lunch only an hour ago and you've already had 2 heart attacks. Actually, giving the luxury hot chocolate with whipped cream a miss might be an idea, too."

Fuck off with your fake congratulations, stick your congratulations up your fucking arse you bunch of cunts.

My gp and husband are fat phobic ableist cunts, who decided to point out 'helpfully' that if I lost weight it might cure my fibro, and my autism?!?!, nooo, at 12 stone and 5ft6,i was overweight yes, but my joints hurt because my nerves are on fire due to the autoimmune problem, but thanks for setting off a latent eating disorder that saw me lose 5 + stones and funnily enough my joints still hurt, and now I'm dangerously underweight. Thanks!

To my male guitarist friend, If you keep messaging me, dropping hints about a meet up for a song run through and are gushing when we meet with no follow up, you can piss off.
You needn’t be frightened, I don’t want a sexual relationship with you, just friends as we get on like a house on fire.

My mother is jealous of me
I wish my child's father would fuck off.

You really are a self centred abusive twat, and even though I know you make yourself miserable, I really hate you. You are a drain on everyone, bombarding us with incessant demands to the point we are all having nervous breakdowns. I do not wish my dc to be around you and actually flinch when you are near them. If it wasn't for our other family member, who you make miserable everyday, I would have cut you off. You won't ever be forgiven.

I feel better now.

The reason you have fallen out with so many people including myself is totally your fault even though you won’t admit it. You are the eternal victim. By the way the storming off when you don’t get your way or when someone “upsets” you was stupid when we were 18 but now we are 48 it’s totally pathetic.

please don’t adopt those kids you somehow have got approved for. You will totally fuck them up and stop speaking to your husband in public like he is dirt as one day he will just tell you to take a hike.

yep we may not talk anymore but unbeknown to you I have a friend in that reading club you have just been booted from for having tantrums and storming off when you don’t agree with something. Also know about the behaviour towards your husband on another group from a different source and that you have also been asked not to come back

you are the common denominator in all this you stupid cow. How can you not see it.

Oh and to my brother you are a biggest twat in twatville.

When we discuss something and agree and you say you will do something, then do it. Your constant unreliability has been a problem for years. You are not a victim, you have spent years getting your own way - just grow up

i Used to think that you meant well but were misguided in how you treated me, your deputy. Or that I was over sensitive.

now I see that your behaviour is actually deeply toxic and designed to undermine me. This is because you feel threatened, I am good at my job & liked and respected by the staff.

now I know that I can adapt my own behaviour. And can keep my distance more, instead of feeling confused and upset all the time.

to my boss.

If you don’t stop making that dribbling slurping sound with your mouth while I’m changing your dressing I will actually kill.

No wonder you've been divorced twice at 40. You're boring, won't listen and such a moaner. Its so unattractive. Also thanks for getting me to pay for everything. I cannot believe someone like me gave you 2 mins of my time. You look a fucking mess and ds is going to be ashamed of you. Sort your weight out.

I wish all these stupid hippies here in Glastonbury in their baggy clothes, drumming dancing, parading and false spirituality would just fuck off and leave the place in peace for everyone else to enjoy.

I have no idea what this means but it sounds interesting.

Bloody well pay my invoice or I'll stop working for you. Actually, I'm going to send you a more polite written version of this.

Absolutely. Apparently losing weight would cure all my arthritis and stomach problems. Im now a size 8 to 10 and still have painful arthritis and am now having stomach surgery I should have had years ago for a problem that is totally unrelated to obesity.
I should have had it years ago but at every appointment was...your problem is obesity.

Or my friend who I gave up on as she left messages on read for weeks before replying

train your fucking dog not to bark, at least get off your lazy arse and bring it indoors (said to myself most nights when they kick the dog out at 11pm
and leave it there barking non stop for half an hour. I’m a dog lover and feel sorry for the dog as it’s out most of the day barking).

I’ll never say anything to you, but I’m incredibly upset that someone I’d classed as a close friend has “no time” to meet with me while you’re here. Unless, of course, you’re attempting to wangle one of my plus one invitations to an event (twice)

One-line response to my welcoming email? You’ll come to the meeting if you have time?

OK.
You do realise you are 100% dependent on my goodwill to get your mentoring complete and to pass your probation?