Things I haven't said out loud this week

[Nam3ChangeAgain]

I will go first!
You are literally the only person that thinks you are amazing! I had to suffer you for years until I wised up! Even your own kids are starting to see you are a dick. You think giving them money makes you a good dad? Try actually spending time with them and getting to know them you you lazy prick!

Your daughter is a spoilt brat and walks all over you.
She’s rude and selfish and that’s because you’ve never said no or addressed her behaviour and made constant excuses.
She trashes everything because you’ll just replace it, she’s never going to hold down a job or do anything with her life when you throw money at her and I doubt she’ll ever find a future partner to put up with her.

I get so frustrated thar you let yourself be abused and treated like shit when I care about you so much and I can’t listen to you complaining when you won’t do anything about it.

I'm now living and working in an active war zone; no I won't listen to your self centrered discussions on your health. You haven't even checked if I'm ok!

The only reason I haven't blocked you, after your recent rudeness, is because I'm hoping that when your horrible, abusive son inevitably snuffs it, you will have the decency to let me know.
You begged for a chance to rebuild your relationship with my daughters and I gave you that chance. I have always left the door open to you and the rest of your useless family but none of you have taken advantage of it, preferring instead to stick to your narrative of "she won't let us see them". It's now 5 years since you've seen your granddaughters and nearly as long since you even asked how they are. The lack of effort on your part is astounding, you're one of the most selfish men I've ever met. I can kind of see where your son gets it from now.
Enjoy life with your new wife. Funny how you can travel half way around the world to see her but can't travel 5 miles to see your granddaughters!

Not everyone is fucking autistic - some people are just being difficult.

Can't you give the cops an anonymous tip-off?

Collect your own fucking kid from school you tightwad bastard.

Er, no… if you’re still going to drive to do your hobby 4 days per week then I’m not cutting back on using the car for dog walks.
And said hobby is just that: a hobby. It’s not your job, it doesn’t contribute to the household, so I’m not sure why you expect me to make dinner for you or do washing because you’re too busy with your favourite pastime.

People with pushchairs - please let people get off the bus before attempting to get on with your pushchair! It makes it easier for everyone (especially me being on crutches).

You know my sister then eh? Cant respond to a message I send cos soooooooooo busy but can post multiple things every single day on instagram. You are not too busy you just choose your fantasy life over your real one.

GROW THE FUCK UP AND BE A MAN.

Mum is NOT coming back, she is DEAD and you are leaving me to sort out EVERYTHING because you are a molly coddled 38 year old man baby with no job who needs to get a fucking life and stop looking around for "adult" help. None is coming. WE ARE THE ADULTS NOW.

I have my own family, an ill husband plus a full time busy job. You do fuck all all day every day and I really really dislike you. I do not want to stay in touch, I'm only doing so now because mum would have wanted you at her funeral and dad wants us to speak. As soon as I can I'm going to drop you like the dead weight you are.

I want a baby. But I don’t know how to tell you.

He was a worthless twat when you married him - everyone tried to tell you, but no, he'd "changed" and "grown so much" and "wasn't that man any more". Now, two years down the line, you're moaning to me that he's a worthless twat. No fucking shit!

Your GP isn't fatphobic for pointing out that your fatigue and leg pains might be down to your morbid obesity, rather than fibromyalgia

Oh my god just STOP TALKING and take a breath!! Or ar least stay on the same topic. You've talked for 45 SOLID MINUTES about people I dont know, acronyms I dont understand and repeating things. I've given up asking about it. I love you deeply but for fuck's sake I feel like you just need a nodding dog arrrrgh!

I really really really don't like you. It's not even justified, you've done nothing to me per se but I can't stand your entire vibe and I am certain you were one of the horribly bitchy girls who in school who probably made several people's lives a misery. I've never really felt like this before over someone I barely know and have no real reason to dislike but I can't stand you.

FFS if you are so miserable being retired and living in the country away from your friends, and it's meaning you have to call your son 50 times a day to complain about it because you're so bloody lonely maybe you should sell up and move back into town, get a hobby and/or take on a few shifts at work! These things are within your power!

Omg shit up about your bloody wedding. I am very happy for you but please stop.

How is it that you are in the position you are in, on a salary twice as high as mine, and yet you can’t create a PDF, follow a link to a document on teams or use a fucking outlook calendar??!!

The real reason I cancelled our meeting today is that I've had enough of dealing with you. You don't learn from your mistakes, you treat team working like a combat sport and if it was down to me, you'd be moved to an area of work where you can no longer harm our good reputation with your shoddy work standards.

I bought you your favourite cheese and Kendal Mint Cake last week when I was away, but you didn't even bother to tell me the pair of you were going on holiday this week, despite your sporadic comments that I'm "a big part of our family".

So I ate them both myself and they were lovely.

The pair of you are the most selfish people I have ever met. Stop leaving your young kids with your older kids and pissing off on Holiday every five minutes. They still need you.

And the way you've treated your mother once you no longer needed her babysitting services is diabolical.

The more falls you have the more you are going to have to think about supported living whether you like it or not. Your sons are so stressed from trying to help you, it's very unfair, and all you keep saying is you don't want to be a burden. Well you are, actions speak louder than words so do something about it.

Fuck knows how you talked your way into this job. Actually I do know, because your tongue is rammed up their arse. You’re incompetent. Oh, and what you’ve just done was really baaad but you’ll find that out for yourself pretty soon. Oops.

You are a weird, pious, sanctimonious dickhead who only does ‘God’s work’ because it strokes your ego. Even when you are supposedly helping others, it’s all about you. Why not try and take an interest in your children and grandchildren instead? Oh wait, that’s because we see right through you. And you know it.

I can't wait to go No Contact with you.

Despite doing everything, and I mean everything for you and fil for the last 6 years, helping care for you both when I could and running your house, hospital and gp appointments, etc to the point it almost damaged my relationship with my own dd, you've made up so many false reports to social services about me they even have a file on me!!!! Can you imagine what that feels like???

So yeh, mil, you can just f@ck right off.

How the fuck is it Monday again .

You are perfectly able to fit through the dog flap. You shoot through it quick enough when there's a cat in the garden. You shoot back through it quick enough when there's someone at the front door. But when you see me in the kitchen you relentlessly paw at the flap, making an irritating clattering noise constantly until I open the door for you. I am cooking. I am BUSY You are a lazy spoilt mutt.

Said in my head because he doesn't listen. Usually voiced as "for fuck saaaaaaake"