Crippling anxiety - I don't know what else to do

[QuestionableMouse]

I'm struggling with very severe anxiety that means I haven't been further than my back yard for almost a month now. It's very much physical anxiety; short of breath, shaky legs, feeling of doom. I've tried breathing exercises and distracting myself but they offered very limited relief. I've had several panic attacks, including one that started while I was driving. I literally can't function because of it and I have no life. I haven't seen most of my family for over a month and my sister needs me to babysit my nephews next week due to the Easter holiday.

My GP prescribed me sertriline which as far as I can tell is doing nothing. I've been taking it for a month now and if anything it's made me worse because I'm now also struggling with very disordered sleep to the point it was 3pm when I got out of bed today.

I've spoken to my GP and they want me to be seen in person which simply isn't possible. I'd like to try pregabalin which worked brilliantly for my mum's anxiety but my GP just keeps telling me they cannot prescribe it for anxiety. I've also tried flulexitine which gave me terrible diarrhea.

I genuinely don't know what to do. I'm considering booking a private GP appointment through bupa but I don't know if they can help either. I'm booked on a course for cbt which starts on Wed and have been forcing myself to go out each day but I think all it's done is made the anxiety worse.

I lost my mum 18 months ago too, followed by the completely traumatising and quite horrific and sudden loss of my other beloved dog. As a PP said, my sense of safety has been lost.

I'm so sorry. That sounds horrific. ☹️💐🫂

I think I lost my sense of safety when this all started in COVID. I had

September 21 - we all had COVID but mum was CEV and ended up with encephalitis and we in ICU for many weeks. Being on a vent for so long damaged her lungs so only one worked.

Nov 21 - she collapsed at home and was having seizures/one sided weakness. Taken to hospital but was discharged the same day then collapsed again on the evening and was taken back in before spending more time in hospital.

Dec 21 - she nearly died from respiratory failure after a chest infection. No ambulances were available so I had to drive her to hospital and genuinely thought she was going to die on the way. She spent several more weeks in hospital.

And it continued from them, with more falls, more emergency ambulances to the point she was taken in in Feb 25 and we found out she had severe kidney and heart failure. She spent all of 2025 in and out of hospital and then was put into oxygen at home. During the same time my dad had his own medical scares, one of which we were told he was unlikely to survive. It's been years and years of stress and worry and it has absolutely ruined my mental health.

Anxiety and panic attacks are horrible and I wouldn't wish it on anybody.
I have suffered since being a child but I went through a really really bad period, I cant actually pinpoint what kicked it off.

I couldn't eat, lost loads of weight, couldn't sleep, even though I tried to constantly.
Couldn't leave the house and it was horrendous.

I was absolutely terrified of taking antidepressants but, it got to a point where i really didn't think it could get any worse.

It wasn't a quick fix, the effect is gradual and you may not even notice at first but honestly, it really saved me.

I also went to group therapy which was somewhat helpful.

I really feel for you but please just know that it will get better. I know it is so hard to believe it but it is very treatable x

You need CBT

I'm on a waiting list for it.

No. You need to learn to read more carefully.
And to stay off the threads where you are no help whatsoever and just trying to be clever (which is failing astronomically).

This is the response I got from the boys' dad.

And this which is fucking outrageous I think 🙃

I’d be careful sharing screen shots of msgs on here as it might be outing and not fair on others involved OP

That’s good.

Sounds like your sister and the kids dad have to sort something between themselves or extended family, or childcare options which need to be paid for. Not dumping their kids on already burnt out sisters and not having a care in the works for how she’s feels about it.

Saying no in itself will make you feel better OP, like a weight is lifted. Practice saying no more often 🫶 well done you for sending the message, it’s never not going to be awkward, but it’s needed!

If you were hospitalised, someone would have to have your nephews. Just say no, you are not capable or safe to have them.

Anxiety, when it reaches panic levels, can feel like we are going to die. It is visceral and physical. Most people will end up in A&E after their first panic attack as they mistake it for a heart attack or some kind of stroke. This can, in turn, cause further anxiety: we scan for early warning signals and closely monitor any shifts in our heart rate or breathing in case that life-threatening situation once again arises. The fear of that threat happening again can cause a panic of its own.

The reality is that, as horrible as they are, panic attacks are never fatal, they can't hurt us and will naturally dissipate within 20-30 minutes. Simply knowing that can allow us to stop being afraid of them and, when we're no longer afraid of them they will stop happening.

If/when you feel a panic attack rising up, simply sit down somewhere quiet, do some box (square) breathing and deliberately take your thoughts forward to what you're going to do when it's gone; what you're going to have for lunch or what's good on TV tonight. Taking the attention away from the temporary glitch means it will fade quickly.

Even when I know it's "just" anxiety and I'm using all my coping methods it's crippling. It's exhausting and it's wearing me down.

I don't even know what to do about the kid; my sister has been told she's going to get a warning if she has any more time off and she can't afford to risk her job. Their dad is being spectacularly unhelpful. My dad is in a care home and isn't well enough to look after them.

I genuinely feel like crying at the moment.

CBT helped me a lot, I’m also on HRT now (I’m 42)
also acknowledgment of it - it sounds stupid but I would say “oh it’s panic again, hello” and try to carry on and ignore it
Tetris, or any other mind numbing app game helped
calm app for at night, especially the sleep stories
a nightlight too just a plug in one
now I’m a lot better with it and able to, cold water swimming outside helps as well plus it’s social

I second this!

I second this.. Claire Weekes was such a comfort to me when I was suffering with anxiety

Hi OP, having been a sufferer myself I do sympathise.

Did you know that our brains are wired to keep us safe (flight or fight)? Your brain literally tricks you (for want of a better word) into feeling this danger and fear when it isn’t necessarily real or true.

it is truly debilitating and I’ve been there. There’s unfortunately no quick fix but there is help and guidance available for YOU to be able to take back control of your own thoughts and feelings without your brain trying to convince you otherwise. This is science and not wacko jacko bullshit, thought it probably would read like that where you are right now!

I need to go back to bed, having just got up for the loo, but I’ll have a look through the books I’ve found most helpful in the last few years in the morning and post them here.