Crippling anxiety - I don't know what else to do

[QuestionableMouse]

I'm struggling with very severe anxiety that means I haven't been further than my back yard for almost a month now. It's very much physical anxiety; short of breath, shaky legs, feeling of doom. I've tried breathing exercises and distracting myself but they offered very limited relief. I've had several panic attacks, including one that started while I was driving. I literally can't function because of it and I have no life. I haven't seen most of my family for over a month and my sister needs me to babysit my nephews next week due to the Easter holiday.

My GP prescribed me sertriline which as far as I can tell is doing nothing. I've been taking it for a month now and if anything it's made me worse because I'm now also struggling with very disordered sleep to the point it was 3pm when I got out of bed today.

I've spoken to my GP and they want me to be seen in person which simply isn't possible. I'd like to try pregabalin which worked brilliantly for my mum's anxiety but my GP just keeps telling me they cannot prescribe it for anxiety. I've also tried flulexitine which gave me terrible diarrhea.

I genuinely don't know what to do. I'm considering booking a private GP appointment through bupa but I don't know if they can help either. I'm booked on a course for cbt which starts on Wed and have been forcing myself to go out each day but I think all it's done is made the anxiety worse.

I have to ask
What is a breathing bear??

Its a toy when swiched on its belly goes in and out like its breathing.
Also plays tunes and has breathing sounds and a light up belly.
I just have it on mute breathing only it helps.

Panic attack. It's happened several times now. I ended up at a&e with the last one because I couldn't stop it.

Your anxiety sounds similar to mine a few years ago. I was stuck in the house for weeks and was having panic attacks whilst driving too. I was prescribed diazapem which did nothing in the long term

What really REALLY helped me was the CBT course. It really helped me rationalize what I was physically experiencing. It helped me come down from a panic attack quickly.

Eventually I stopped having regular panic attacks, and after a period of a year or so I stopped having them all together. And I started driving again.

Please keep up with the CBT, if really can work.

Yes I have had this, nervous breakdown, chronic stress, depression and agoraphobia. causes were bereavement, failed relationship, single parenting, stressful job and not enough downtime and self care, lack of sleep. What stresses are you under?

Try not to feed your anxiety or stopping doing something because you are feeling anxious. I know it's tough. Give your anxiety a name and when it comes just say that's my [name] just coming on. It can't harm you as I'm testament to this.

Books by Claire Weeks, finding peace in a frantic world by mark williams and control stress by paul McKenna which has a good meditation, and Eckhart tolle all helped me. Focus on the present, ground yourself, stretch. Good sleep. If you are waking early and not dreaming this is a sign your not getting good enough sleep. nutritious food is needed and exercise will help and consequently sleep better. Progress is not linear. You may feel better some days but not others. Journal your progress and understand this may take a long time but don't put a time limit on feeling better. Cry if you need too and don't put pressure on yourself to stop. Keep posting for support.

OP totally feel you. Try some movement which doesn’t get you out of breath, eg yin yoga, Thai chi.

When you’re doing some breathing exercise what are you doing? Are you making sure you’re breathing out for longer?

would you be open to trying hypnotherapy? It can be done online

You are also probably not breathing properly and just shallow breathing. You can check this by lying on your bed and seeing if your breathing is lifting your tummy or not. If not do breathing exercises too focusing on getting air into your lungs and regulating your breathing.

I also agree that intense exercise would make my anxiety worse (anything that raised my heart rate would trigger a panic attack), but yoga or mindfulness really helped. I hated it, but eventually I was able to use the techniques to master the physical reactions my body was having.

It's worth remembering, it's completely normal, you are completely normal, and this happens to a lot of people at some time in their lives. And the worst that can happen is that you will pass out, it's very unlikely you will have a heart attack, even if it feels like it.

Probably best to avoid driving until you can feeling well again xx

No suggestions but I hope you feel better soon.

I suffer with agoraphobia and ptsd after a terrible breakdown. Had talking therapy on the nhs but you only get a handful of sessions. I had turned a corner for over 18 months. Started managing trips out in the car, Coffee out, and so on and built myself up to a bus into town first time in 8 years, a wander around all the shops and lunch out all alone and all things that were completely impossible for me.

but now for the last fortnight the panic attacks have started up again. 😩

Btw also meant to say you can’t babysit your nephews. Any pressure like that will make you even worse, I’m talking from terrible personal experiences.

Propranolol 100% and it’s non addictive. Hope you feel better soon.

I’ve been here. I’m just coming to the end of my CBT therapy now and am in a much, much better place. I never thought therapy would work.. I was a bit ‘anti talk about it’ before as I can’t see how it does much good.. but it really had worked for me.

it takes time though, and effort from you. I’ve been in and out of therapy for years (over 10 years now) and this is the first time I’ve really put the effort in at home to use what I’ve learned at therapy. Before I’d just go, talk, go home.. rinse and repeat.

it’s awful to feel so stuck, it sounds like you have, or had anxiety that developed into agoraphobia. My agoraphobia started like yours, couldn’t leave the house, felt sick or poorly if I went anywhere and felt very restricted. I still have it now but much more manageable, I can leave and go mostly anywhere.. I just need to know where toilets and exits are of everywhere I go 🤣

you’ll feel like you’re going to be this way forever, it’s not true. Take the CBT seriously, even if you’re a non-believer like me; you’ll see a difference really quite quickly.

im unmedicated for what it’s worth, too. I never liked the sound of the side effects so my improvement had been though CBT and self help alone,

Panic attacks make you feel like you’re genuinely going to spontaneously die on the spot. I’ve been to A&E several times from panic.

If you can’t relate, I’m happy for you. But being condescending to someone else because you haven’t had the displeasure of that experience is shitty.

I didn't choose to go to a&e. My neighbor called an ambulance and because my blood pressure was so high and I was having bad chest pain they decided to take me in. My breathing was also totally out of control. I was given some diazepam which stopped it and helped massively.

I've tried it and it did nothing for me unfortunately.

This. I had extreme anxiety and a 40ml dose of citalopram transformed it. But looking back, it was menopause.

At this point I don't have a choice. Their dad is refusing to take time off work, my sister can't, my dad's in a care home and isn't well enough to look after them and their other grandparents have refused to help. There's no one else.

Yep i do yes im adult, but it helps it really dose, calm soothing and calm focuse on the breathing.
We do what we have to do to help ourselfs, and if a silly toy for 4.99 helps then so be it.
Also have a patting plushie just in case the bears battery runs out.

Thanks. I'm 42 in a couple of weeks so it could be peri menopause! I've asked my GP about it and got nowhere with hrt though!

There’s no one else, but they aren’t you kids. Your sister needs to talk to her work about flexible working, or she needs to look into holiday clubs/childminders.

I’ve been in your exact place, feeling like I’m unable to say no to babysitting when I’m nearly at rock bottom myself and it made it so much worse. In the end I just had to learn to say no. You’re not being horrible, you’re just putting your MH/yourself first. 2 weeks of looking after a couple of kids while suffering intense anxiety isn’t going to bode well.

That sounds horrendous OP. My sister had anxiety/agoraphobia and it was debilitating for years. Someone earlier mentioned exposure therapy, she did this with CBT and medication but it was a long road for her. Her GP organised home visits for my sister with a local mental health nurse for her medication, could that be an option? As for your sisters childcare, you need to look after yourself first, it’s her issue to deal with if you’re unable to go out at the moment.

Sorry to hear you’re having such a bad time at the moment. I know what it’s like. I’ve been there, unfortunately.

Propranolol didn’t work for me either. I got stabilised on Cipralex (worth asking for if you’re still no better on sertraline after a few more weeks). I do think SSRIs can take 6-8 weeks to work.
My psychiatrist then added Pregabalin and that combination gave me back my life. She said I could go up to 600mg, but I noticed a massive difference on just 200mg and I was then able to engage with the cbt and the desensitisation. I agree on the Claire Weekes recommendations.
I was housebound for years. Flying off on holiday soon.