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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Crippling anxiety - I don't know what else to do

93 replies

QuestionableMouse · 22/03/2026 20:49

I'm struggling with very severe anxiety that means I haven't been further than my back yard for almost a month now. It's very much physical anxiety; short of breath, shaky legs, feeling of doom. I've tried breathing exercises and distracting myself but they offered very limited relief. I've had several panic attacks, including one that started while I was driving. I literally can't function because of it and I have no life. I haven't seen most of my family for over a month and my sister needs me to babysit my nephews next week due to the Easter holiday.

My GP prescribed me sertriline which as far as I can tell is doing nothing. I've been taking it for a month now and if anything it's made me worse because I'm now also struggling with very disordered sleep to the point it was 3pm when I got out of bed today.

I've spoken to my GP and they want me to be seen in person which simply isn't possible. I'd like to try pregabalin which worked brilliantly for my mum's anxiety but my GP just keeps telling me they cannot prescribe it for anxiety. I've also tried flulexitine which gave me terrible diarrhea.

I genuinely don't know what to do. I'm considering booking a private GP appointment through bupa but I don't know if they can help either. I'm booked on a course for cbt which starts on Wed and have been forcing myself to go out each day but I think all it's done is made the anxiety worse.

OP posts:
Overflowingwithcosmos · 22/03/2026 23:37

Offering sympathy. 💐 I have CPTSD and every five years or so suffer from bouts of extreme anxiety. Panic attacks are the worst.

Sertraline really helped but it took 6-7 weeks to work last time. It felt worse before it got better - which is obviously awful when you have anxiety.

Wishing you strength OP. And really urge you to call in all the support you can. The invisibility of it can make it hard to ask for help, but if you had a broken bone or couldn’t walk you’d have to step away from some responsibilities for a bit - it’s no different. X

IwishIcouldconfess · 23/03/2026 04:49

QuestionableMouse · 22/03/2026 22:57

I didn't choose to go to a&e. My neighbor called an ambulance and because my blood pressure was so high and I was having bad chest pain they decided to take me in. My breathing was also totally out of control. I was given some diazepam which stopped it and helped massively.

Your neighbour was able to take your blood pressure?

IwishIcouldconfess · 23/03/2026 04:53

This reply has been deleted

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dnadiscoveryquery · 23/03/2026 05:13

QuestionableMouse · 22/03/2026 23:00

Thanks. I'm 42 in a couple of weeks so it could be peri menopause! I've asked my GP about it and got nowhere with hrt though!

Edited

Oh op. This really could be peri menopause. I was horrific, uncontrollable crying etc, and the gel transformed things. I as 43 and realised I’d been having symptoms for years.

Take a look the symptoms of menopause, and see if any others fit, if so discuss with gp on phone, or if you can afford that private appointment a video call one would be great.

dnadiscoveryquery · 23/03/2026 05:15

IwishIcouldconfess · 23/03/2026 04:49

Your neighbour was able to take your blood pressure?

Why are you being awful to someone in clear distress?

ps. Lots of people have blood pressure machines. The chemist and Amazon sell them for about £20.

IwishIcouldconfess · 23/03/2026 05:20

dnadiscoveryquery · 23/03/2026 05:15

Why are you being awful to someone in clear distress?

ps. Lots of people have blood pressure machines. The chemist and Amazon sell them for about £20.

I am not being awful.

I'm asking questions, questions are allowed it it a forum.

Yes I know they're freely available.

dnadiscoveryquery · 23/03/2026 05:25

IwishIcouldconfess · 23/03/2026 05:20

I am not being awful.

I'm asking questions, questions are allowed it it a forum.

Yes I know they're freely available.

Your posts are coming across very much like repeated small digs. For someone already struggling, these will no doubt feel horrible.

Eenameenadeeka · 23/03/2026 05:30

If your sister took you, do you think you could make it to the doctor? It sounds like you really need support and they might need to change the medication. I don't think you're well enough to be babysitting, that wouldn't be safe when you are feeling so unwell.

IwishIcouldconfess · 23/03/2026 05:30

dnadiscoveryquery · 23/03/2026 05:25

Your posts are coming across very much like repeated small digs. For someone already struggling, these will no doubt feel horrible.

That's your interpretation.

Lucielastik · 23/03/2026 06:01

So sorry about your mam….and the severe anxiety you are feeling right now, only a few weeks later, is understandable and often part of the process of grief. Hopefully it will diminish of its own accord but talking to a bereavement councillor online may also help

Squirrelsnut · 23/03/2026 06:08

Bitofashock · 22/03/2026 21:01

It took a good while for the sertraline to work for me and anxiety was way worse while it settled. Been on it a while now and it has worked but the acclimatisation period was rough. Advice is to keep going with it but try and go to the gp. Anxiety is hard.

This, 100%. Give the Sertraline time.
Propranolol helps with the physical stuff.

My main peri symptom was terrible anxiety, I had 5 weeks off work, I was just a ball of sickening dread. Get an advocate if needed and get HRT!

Mapletreeleaf · 23/03/2026 06:30

IwishIcouldconfess · 23/03/2026 04:49

Your neighbour was able to take your blood pressure?

It would be reasonable to assume that after the neighbour phoned the paramedics the paramedics were able to take the blood pressure.

Hellohihola · 23/03/2026 06:38

So sorry this is happening to you - this happened to me over two years ago now. my ferritin was only 8 which we think was a huge contributing factor but otherwise it was a full on breakdown. You really do need support so please reach out to anyone you can and ask them to take you to see a GP. Diazepam may be prescribed whilst the sertraline is kicking in. Hand hold 💐

Lifealwaysgetsbetter · 23/03/2026 06:50

QuestionableMouse · 22/03/2026 21:23

Yes I've tried propranolol but it did nothing for me unfortunately. My main anxiety symptoms are air hunger/shortness of breath and shaking and the feeling of panic. I'm constantly terrified of having another panic attack.

My sister has been really supportive but unfortunately our mam died in Jan after being unwell for a long time and our dad has been very unwell too so she can't take any more time off work without getting into trouble. She also afford to take more time off.

I have been forcing myself to go out every day but I'm struggling massively and the feeling of panic is totally debilitating.

I know two people who had leaky heart valves who had severe anxiety, breathlessness and insomnia.. not trying to make you more anxious but please contact your GP and ask for a full physical check up - blood tests etc.

Then ask for a referral for someone to talk to. You’re grieving your mum - Jan is very recent.

cloudtreecarpet · 23/03/2026 06:51

IwishIcouldconfess · 23/03/2026 04:49

Your neighbour was able to take your blood pressure?

Why are you nit picking at everything the OP posts?
You are clearly not sympathetic to what she is describing so why be on this thread?

WindyW · 23/03/2026 06:55

I was also going to suggest an iron test (ferritin) as low iron can cause air hunger and might be part of the issue. Wishing you well 💐

Orangeandpinkcloud · 23/03/2026 07:02

Oh I was younger than 42 as well. Try a different doctor to try and get HRT. I only got HRT 3 years later and it's been life changing. Davina's book menopausing is a really easy listen or read.

notatinydancer · 23/03/2026 07:04

IwishIcouldconfess · 23/03/2026 04:49

Your neighbour was able to take your blood pressure?

The neighbour called an ambulance. I work in ED and I despair at some of the things people come in for , but with a panic attack you can feel like you’re dying. I’ve had them they are completely debilitating.
You seem to be on this thread to make snide comments?
Maybe if you’re not feeling helpful this isn’t the thread for you?
Or are you just in that sort of mood ?

AgnesMcDoo · 23/03/2026 07:04

Setraline didn’t do much for me but CBT worked

notatinydancer · 23/03/2026 07:05

QuestionableMouse · 22/03/2026 22:59

At this point I don't have a choice. Their dad is refusing to take time off work, my sister can't, my dad's in a care home and isn't well enough to look after them and their other grandparents have refused to help. There's no one else.

You DO have a choice. They are not your children. Your sister shouldn’t be putting this on you.

10namechangeslater · 23/03/2026 07:14

You need some diazepam whilst waiting for the sertraline to start working if you want to continue to take it.

Bit random but you could try giving up gluten. Lots of people are intolerant without realising and the only symptoms sometimes are anxiety and depression. Although you will feel worse for a couple of days before you feel better but I am a month in and my depression has lifted and I was having suicidal thoughts. Might be worth a try.

10namechangeslater · 23/03/2026 07:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Behave

Lougle · 23/03/2026 07:44

QuestionableMouse · 22/03/2026 21:23

Yes I've tried propranolol but it did nothing for me unfortunately. My main anxiety symptoms are air hunger/shortness of breath and shaking and the feeling of panic. I'm constantly terrified of having another panic attack.

My sister has been really supportive but unfortunately our mam died in Jan after being unwell for a long time and our dad has been very unwell too so she can't take any more time off work without getting into trouble. She also afford to take more time off.

I have been forcing myself to go out every day but I'm struggling massively and the feeling of panic is totally debilitating.

What dose of propanolol did you try? The GP can prescribe up to 40mg, three times per day for anxiety. Propanolol is a beta blocker - it interferes with the release of adrenaline.

I'm wondering if will help you to think about what is happening when you have a panic attack:

  • Your physical symptoms of your panic attack is because your fight or flight mode has misfired and your brain has got the signal that you're in danger but you're not.
  • Your body has released adrenaline. Adrenaline shuts down digestion and prioritises your heart and your muscles, so you're strong and you can run. You are breathing faster to try and get oxygen to your muscles.
  • Unfortunately, when we breath rapidly, we exhale lots of carbon dioxide. That makes us feel panicky and light headed. Our brains then get confused and think that we need to breathe even more deeply and faster. It's a viscious circle.
  • We feel unsafe because our heart is pounding, we feel light headed and we feel dizzy.

This circle goes around and around, and if it doesn't stop, sometimes people can pass out, which ironically, halts the circle because breathing returns to normal.

So propanolol can reduce the physical symptoms by reducing the adrenaline, but we can also tell our brains what's happening.

'Ah, that's the adrenaline. It's making my breathing too fast and that's why I'm feeling dizzy.'

The simplest solution is to have a paper bag with you. Clamp it around your mouth and breathe as slowly as you can into it. It will restore your carbon dioxide levels and reduce the dizziness and reduce your heart rate. Don't worry that you're breathing fast when you start. It's just the process.

Then you can do the 5 things: Look around you. Something you can see, something you can hear, something you can feel, something you can smell and something you can taste. Even if it's a metallic taste in your mouth. It's just bringing you back to reality.

Square breathing is good for controlling your breathing. Imagine a square. Breathe in as you trace up the left side of the square, breathe out as you trace along the top of the square, breathe in as you trace down the right hand side of the square, breathe out as you trace along the bottom of the square.

If you're having a panic attack by walking down the path, don't. Walk to the back door and just stand outside the back door for 30 seconds. Then a minute, then 5 minutes, then 10 minutes. Then, you can take two steps outside the back door, repeat. Then three. It's a 'how to boil a frog' situation. Frogs are cold blooded so if you put them in a pan of boiling water, they'd jump out. But if you put them in cold water and gradually turn up the heat, they don't notice and they'd stay there even though they were boiling. In the same way, you need to reassure your brain that it's ok, you're just standing outside the back door - how dangerous can that be?? Then you're just standing one step away. Then you're just standing two steps away, and one step was fine, wasn't it?

Phone/use the online form to the GP and say you can't leave the house but need a telephone call or a home visit. You need a medication review. Although think about the fact that if you managed A&E you possibly could manage the GP, even if you know it will give you an anxiety attack - that's quite useful for the GP, even if it's awful for you.

Hopefully the CBT will help. Do you know what has triggered this?

Shesafancyflapjack · 23/03/2026 07:54

I’m sorry you are having a difficult time, you experienced the death of your mum in January, I would suggest your sense of internal safety has been shattered, that’s common with the loss of a parent. Don’t get side tracked with putting this down to peri menopause and talking to your GP about hrt just because you are a woman, it’s grief, anxiety and mental exhaustion, and these take time to heal. You can find good quality help for understanding panic disorder online, ask for a longer telephone appointment with your doctor and write down what you want them to understand before they call. Wishing you well

MrFluffyDogIsMyBestFriend · 23/03/2026 09:37

The Claire Weeks book is really good in that it made me realise that I was having a nervous breakdown. People don't use that term anymore because apparently some people find it frightening but I found it helpful to know. My symptoms were so stereotypical that it actually made me laugh :). And it made me feel instantly better knowing that lots of people have the same feelings.

It's awful I know. As I improve, things are so up and down and sometimes (like today) I'm absolutely terrified of taking my dog out and think I'm about to collapse at any moment. I haven't been to the GP but that's me - I'm a GP avoider but that's probably not the best plan!