Would this offend you?

[Irisrises]

So I met up with a relative today and we are both having a baby. During the conversation they said:

They are having a DD and they are delighted as wouldn't want to have a DS. I said I was pleased they were having a girl as that's what they wanted but what's wrong with a DS. They made it clear they very much would really not want one. I pointed out my sons are lovely. They again said they wouldnt want one and did not say anything nice about my sons. They said it's because of 'the men that boys become'.

I have two sons and a third boy on the way. They know my baby will be a boy.

They also said they didnt think it an issue if the children shared the same name. We are close family so this would be majorly insulting for me and disrespectful to the identity of my children. Also the babies are not even the same gender.

They also said repeatedly they dont know why I am having a 3rd and why would anyone have 3 children. They said they would have 1 child and dont think siblings are important.

They have previously said that I 'was very stressed' when had my first child and they have waited until ready.

All the above was said in a light conversation tone. Their partner was there and seemed to think this was all fine too.

I didn't think about it much in the moment but got home and was like....

What on earth was going on?ķ

So she is happy to breed with one

Is the partner she has conceived with not male? Or did she use ‘lady sperm’.

Tell her to fuck off and be done with it.

So many people when I was expecting my 3rd assumed I had been trying for a girl after 2 boys…
I cheerfully replied that baby number 3 was a total surprise so I wasn’t trying for anything 😂
I love being a boy Mum and even my own Mum has always said she never wanted boys and cried when she had my brother… I think that probably says more about her than my brother.
You can have unisex names that work for both genders, so I would just shrug off pretty much everything they’ve said and when they are in the throes of girl drama, friendship fall outs and the various other things that seem to be going hand in hand with having girls be glad I’ve got boys.
Congratulations on your baby number 3, ours is out total sunshine boy and we all adore him. Wouldn’t swap him for a girl any day!

Socially, she’s a bull in a china shop. I expect she offends people left, right and centre - and that’s only going to get worse when she gets Mum friends. I mean, is she going to speak like this to all the boy mums?
Her views are nonsense, of course, and I would hold her in disdain personally.

how mean. It sounds like she’s self conscious about being an older mother with less experience than you and nervous about raising a daughter in a misogynistic world. She’s negging on you to feel better about herself.
i would just be busy any time she wanted to hang out tbh. She has some work to do and she’s upsetting you

I desperately wanted a girl. Each time. I had a sister, a niece, a stepdaughter, I didn’t think I’d know what to do with a boy. I had three boys. They are awesome and I love and admire the men they have become.

Just ignore her. You will love having three boys.

They just seem a bit strange.

I have 2 boys and I’m done. I was a bit disappointed my second wasn’t a girl but now I couldn’t imagine not having boys. I love them so much 💛

I would not be spending much time with these people going forward.

Having had 3 girls and 1 boy I’d take 3 teen boys over 1 teen girl.

She sounds incredibly insecure.

Maybe she’s jealous of you. (Could be of anything. Jealous of your looks, your home, your children, your financial circumstances etc.). And the only way she can express it, is by these weird comments. So she’s trying to make herself feel
better by trying to make you feel inferior.

Please don’t let the comments get to you. Just pity her.

This. ^ But I wonder why....?

I have one of each (DD first,) then DS less than a year after, so I can't relate to gender disappointment. I did want a girl, and was very happy when the first baby was a girl, but after that I didn't mind what I had. (And I was pleased with the second one being a boy.)

How rude they sound @Irisrises Imagine thinking it's OK to say this to someone?! Weirdos! You need to give them as wide a berth as possible.

I love my 2 equally, and find the weird anti boy sentiment odd - and yeah, you get it on Mumsnet too sometimes.... Then again, some threads do feature some pretty awful anti girl comments (in a desperate attempt to build boys up.)

People should remember - blowing out someone else's candle doesn't make yours shine brighter. Both girls and boys (daughters and sons) are wonderful in their own way.

Yeah, if her partner sitting right there is a man, the obvious response to "the man the boy will become", is "yeah, just like you, Greg!" <tinkly laugh>

But there, we only think of these comebacks in hindsight.

I find that such a bizarre comment. My experience is the polar opposite. Nearly everyone I know wanted a boy were there to be a choice.

It might be that a lot of the people I know come from a male orientated industry and many are linked to a very male dominated sport.

Other than on MN I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone expressing a pretence for a girl in real life.

My 3 boys are my very greatest pride and joy. They're bigger than me now and the most remarkable young men, but I still remember the awful comments.

you are so lucky, OP. Massive congratulations

your relative is a tit

Been here a long time. Never heard this on Mumsnet. Ever,

Indeed, I have never heard it at all.

Also: WTAF?

I do have to say, many people I know in real life, wanted a girl... first.. I know very few people who wanted a boy first. For some though, once they had a girl, they didn't seem to mind what came next.

Maybe it depends on the culture.

How long did you listen to this tripe . Sorry. Hope they are not close relatives that you have to see often . I think I would have had to tell her to Shut the fuck up you silly bitch .

Wouldn’t offend me, I just wouldn’t speak to them again because I’d assume they were psychotic to be frank. Any normal person is happy with a healthy child, end of.

Rural farmers wife here. MIL had four boys. Two farm.

I have four girls, DH farms.

his next brother has two, one girl, one boy.

the other two were set up in other business and do not farm, two girls each.

guess who gets the farm? Between two sons who farm and two who don’t?

the grandson.

so it does exist the other way. And it’s disgusting either way.

Did they self procreate? Is there a father (a man for goodness sakes)? She must find him acceptable.
Usually it’s boys that are prized; I do know a family of three and the son (youngest) was clearly the golden child. When she found out I was having a boy she just said ah boys are wonderful. This woman was no simpering surrendered woman, but quite a formidable force of nature. She loved her daughters for sure, but her son was her sun.
Just smile and say ‘well, I love my boys and am very happy to be having another’ and change the subject.

It’s not cultural in my case as we are white British. As I explained it is possibly more of a factor of our lifestyle rather than any cultural reason for us.

I've never heard it before either. And I've been here since it was all fields.

I thought the meaning was obvious though.

I have 3 boys and I wouldn't change it for the world they are wonderful and the most loving little boys I've ever known!

Been here donkey’s years too and never heard that either