Man I’m seeing has just told me he has genital herpes.

[Sarah24x]

I’ve recently started seeing a guy for around 2 months. All seemed great and he seems lovely.

Tonight he has disclosed he has genital herpes. 😫Says he hasn’t had an outbreak in years and it isn’t a big deal as he’s on medication.

The thing is I’ve already had unprotected sex with him (took an std test which was clear and I’m on contraception).

AIBU to be fuming he didn’t tell me before I slept with him? To make things worse he’s a doctor so knows the risks.

Is there a chance I could have caught it if he’s had no active coldsores and on antivirals?

Any advice appreciated!

tbf most people who have hsv1 or 2 on their genitalia dont even realise they have it as the symptoms are mild and mistaken for thrush or irritation etc so it’s fair to say that the majority of ppl are likely have it mildly
OP- if you already have the herpes virus on your mouth you are less likely to have symptomatic genital herpes. If you already have HSV2 you can’t get it again and it more or less protects you from HSV1. If you have HSV 1, you can get HSV2 but you are likely to have it mildly and much less likely to be symptomatic

With regard to your friend’s situation regarding risk, if he was on medication with an undetectable viral load the risk to your friend would have been zero (not low). This has been proven for quite a few years now and is endorsed by all major world health organisations.

You said it. Or sort of said it.

Please stop trying to hijack OP's thread about deception and disappointment with your "it ain't all that bad" and "youse are all so ignorant about herpes" thing.

Maybe stop giving advice through the prism of your own neurosis 🤷🏻

What in fuck's name are you talking about?

I don't think that's true that most people have herpes

Why do you think people are advised not to kiss babies on the face?

Around 70% of people in the UK have hsv1.

I've only known 6 people in my life that have it

Actually 7. Don't quote me on this but I think I've read there can be a high frequency of false positives on tests

He said viral load was "low" i don't know if he meant "undetectable".
For reasons of trust in a relationship i still think honesty is the best policy .
In my friends situation it was the trust issue rather than HIV issue.