To cringe when middle class women swear

[dopaminego]

On Mumsnet at least they use embarrassing words like 'cockwomble' and think it's edgy. Only working and upper class people sound right swearing.

So where are the lines drawn?

Is it OK to swear if you work in an office or do you have to have a blue collar job or private income?
Is it OK to swear in cockney or Scouse but not in RP?
Does having a mortgage preclude you? Or a child in private school?
Is it not acceptable if you have a degree but OK if you have an NVQ in nail tech?

And how the hell do you tell someone’s class from a one line sentence?

I have a friend that says ‘oh fudge’ in place of fuck. I can’t stand it. If something bad happened like a plate smashed she’d say ‘fudge!’ But if I told her my granny had died she’d tilt her head to the side and say ‘ooooooh fuuuuuudddggge’.

I want to scream ‘for the love of god, just say fuck!! FUCK FUCK FUCK!’

These are all excellent questions.

Class is irrelevant but any twee swearing like ‘cockwomble’ or ‘fuckety fuck’ or ‘twatbadger’ or whatever is unbearably naff. People always think they’re being hilarious but no, it’s tedious. It’s the sort of thing you used to see from people with whimsical Twitter accounts in 2010 when they were hoping to get a bursary to join a Radio 4 comedy writing group. It’s swearing for wet men whose sexual persona is ‘Hugh Grant getting flustered at an American in a Richard Curtis movie’ and women who giggle a lot, wear dresses from FatFace and think yarn-bombing is a personality.

Either call someone a cunt or don’t swear at all. This mimsy ‘cockwomble’ bullshit can fuck right off.

If I went on a date with someone who said things like ‘cockwomble’, I’d instantly know they were shit in bed.

Try being royal (middle class) and northern.

It confuses everyone.

I use to work in a private school (a renowned one) Think of Eton or similar. The female teachers in the department of English at that school swore. In fact, they swore often and with colour. Portmanteau swear words were their speciality.

Swearing is nothing to do with class or vocabulary, and everything to do with whether or not you wish to follow societal expectations / conventions. Some people don’t give a ‘flip’. Quite a lot of affluent landed-gentry types swear a lot.

I’d say that swearing is similar to tattoos. Tattooed people don’t care if you like their tattoos or not.

I think you sound a bit of a snob. Do you correct people’s pronunciation and grammar?

Dear god is that all you have to worry about!!

I swear all the time- there is nothing that describes life better sometimes than a good old swearword!!

On the contrary,I find it really funny! My late DM was extremely middle class and rarely swore,in fact she was rather disapproving of people who did. But on the rare occasions that she really lost her rag about something she was known to let rip with the 'f' word. My DD and thought it was hilarious.

Sorry (not) op, I must locate my smelling salts!

There is no such thing as middle class and Northern.
Your children might be drinking their blue WKD from a wine glass, but they are still drinking blue WKD.

I don't think anyone thinks they're being edgy when they say cockwomble

Feck off with ya.

In todays news I found out I am middle class because I think cockwomble is the perfect faux swearword. I need to celebrate now - maybe some dom in a plaster beaker....

Completely agree. I don't think I could have sex with someone who couldn't swear properly. I find fastidiousness like that in men deeply unattractive (and women come to that but I don't sleep with women). It's a sign of weak character.

A man saying "fudge" and "sugar" would be an immediate no from me.

Well fucketybumshit, I never heard the like. 😂

Exactly. I like a man who is not only comfortable with, but fully enthusiastic about, the filthiest language possible.

I met my partner at work and we used to sit opposite each other. His excellent use of swearing was genuinely one of the things that attracted me to him.

Terribly sorry, will to stick to 'crumbs' and 'naff orf' in future

Glad to know I sound right swearing being working class. 🤨

Ooh... I hadn't tried the incantation, I suppose I should give it a go really!

I think I would probably be classed as middle class, not that I give it a huge amount of thought

Fuck off OP, you don’t get to decide who can and can’t swear.

Yeah i know exactly what you mean.

I also swear a lot but its like "thats un fucking believable" or "i fucking dont want to" or "fuck that".

I think what you mean is the posters who you just know are wearing Toast or that weird colourful dungarees brand and are like "Oh fuckity fucksticks". They're also the ones who say stuff like "fanjo" and "fanny gallops", and it kind of reminds me of a small child just learning the word "poo" 😂 It's like they think being "creative" with swearing is kind of fun and funny, when actually swearing should just be like punctuation IMO - the swearing shouldn't stand out it should just blend seamlessly in lkke its just another word.

For some reason the way this category uses the word "cunt" grates on me for a similar reason. I dont have a problem with the word cunt but again, it should just be used like you'd use the word bitch or prick. You know, like "so this guy was a total cunt, and when he...."

But instead, this type of poster uses it like it has an aura around it. "He's a cunt, OP. An utter cunt."
Like they're handling the royal crown or something 😂

I usually feel like the type of woman who swears in this weird "creative" way went to an all girls school but I cant figure out why I think that

They kind of give me Olivia Coleman vibes

As a privately educated women in a well paid job, let me tell you, we like to fucking swear. If we so wish, we will throw all the cockwombles and tomfuckerys about as we see fit.
Those who look down their nose at people and judge peoples ‘class’ based off their use of their own lexicography, ought to educate themselves on the correct use of their own vernacular before pontificating on the use of our language.
Off you fuck

AIBU to cringe at such a ridiculous post as this?

Ffycs sêc! 🙄