Please help family and rent

[limeandwater]

Lurker of ten years plus, and looking for some anonymous and honest feedback.

Approx 5 years ago sister split from husband. On the surface they lived a very nice life, but long story short her ex had mortgaged everything against his business and they lost the lot and were left with nothing.

My husband and I are fortunate enough to have a number of properties. We let her and her two kids stay in one of our houses and used words to the affect "it's yours rent free for as long as you need it."

She met a man approx two years ago who we like and is good to her and the kids and 3 months ago she asked if he could move in. We said yes - but presumed rent would follow.

To give you some non specific info the man in question earns approx 60k per year and rents out the flat he was living in for £1600pcm which I imagine would more than cover his mortgage. They live a nice life if that matters. Holidays, meals out, etc.

We are in South East and the 3 bed house she lives in would rent at approx £2800 per month. My husband thinks its cheeky that no offer of rent has been made. He doesn't want or expect market value - and in fact would probably only want about half.

I agree with him, it's a bit cheeky, but then think back to our wording 5 years ago.

My husband is a lovely man and never gets angry, but last Sunday we went out for Sunday lunch and we split the bill. I could tell tell he was annoyed and asked him what was wrong - and he stated "he lives rent free in our property, he could have got lunch."

Who is right and what do we do?

She could have claimed benefits, but she would not have been able to stay in the area we live.

I've had a similar situation.

I am due to sell some shares and will have a tidy sum to invest. My niece has been a single parent so six months ago I offered to buy a house she could live in rent free with her children. The discussion was she would buy it from me later or pay rent if she was back to work.
Within six months she was asking if her new man could move in too and suggesting he couldn't pay rent as he was self employed. I've walked away and I've seen her once since Christmas.

I wonder why her partner moving in makes such a difference to your views on her paying rent. You said you wouldn't have expected her to pay if he hadn't moved in and you wouldn't expect her to pay if he moved out. I understand she is family and you want to look after her, but is that only if she is on her own? Is the partner not a good bloke?

The OP has already stated in a post at 10:35 that there was no mortgage on the property. If you click on the Read All links on any of her posts you can find it.

Well, she doesn't really 'need' it anymore if her circumstances have changed. So yanbu

I could ever own multiple properties, not need the money from one rental in the slightest, and charge my sister rent.

It’s nice that you are wealthy. It’s also nice that your sister can have a nice life with the disposable income of loving rent free. She’s now going to be £1700 down a month, which you’ve said multiple times you won’t even notice.

Nobody has a right to live rent free, but if I was in your situation there’s no way I’d be charging her. If your situation is really as wealthy as you come across, I’d probably even think about giving her the property if she was my best friend, and I had multiple mortgage free properties (even due to hard work), knowing she won’t ever be able to afford something similar.

OP is still helping her sister massively by letting her live in what is clearly a large, family home in a good area for significantly below market value! She's just saying that now her sister has a partner, that a) she shouldn'e be entirely responsible for looking after her sister and b) she shouldn't be responsible for looking after this bloke.

Seems pretty easy to understand.

He is a good bloke.

That I totally get. I guess I was confused about the fact that if the partner moved out they would go back to the sister not paying rent. Given it's been five years, the sister works and gets support from her ex, shouldn't she start paying something regardless of having a new partner.

I'd imagine they presumed if you suddenly wanted to start charging for rent you'd have asked for it at the time.

He may have asked her about his part in contributing and been told its her's rent free, so no monies needed.

TBH I think your sister is the CF for not asking you if there would be any changes to the current agreement when she was asking if her DP could move in.

I am not saying it’s right. It’s been going on for years!

I think the sister thinks like this

The bf has a property currently let out. It's paying him rent. I would expect him to at least offer that. I understand the ops husband completely. My husband frequently gets upset when my family take advantage of me. For years I was the big earner and boy did I pay for everything.
I've learnt to keep quiet. My sister is certainly not my bff. She's a tight arsed bully who charges people interest if they borrow a tenner! Family let's are a nightmare. We had various relatives staying in our large property in the early 2000s. I wouldn't buy a big house like that again for that very reason. Windfall or not

With the niece still there??

@PropertyD I didn't buy the property.

I felt that she was over egging the situation she was in. The bf is a builder and is earning big money when he's at work but wasn't prepared to pay a normal rent.

I love my sister, but our children's inheritance takes priority.

Why have you left it this long. You need to toughen up.

Don’t be so ridiculous. This new man would also benefit. Are you in the business of supporting and funding complete strangers lifestyles??

I don't think 3 months is "that long."

Quick question @limeandwater

Are you looking for a new sister? Cos I am free 😁

Im super lovely, will go for coffee anytime ( and will pay).

Completely unrelated - do you have any more free houses i could live in?

Your sister is a real piece of work, and has met her match in the boyfriend🙄.

Your poor husband, what a family for in laws to behave like that.

No good deed and all that....

And OP the rich one always gets stuck with the bill!

Mind you I have five friends who are millionaires and boy are they tight!

😂

Yes she really doesn't need your house any more, so pay rent or move out. You could say you didn't suggest it immediately just in case it didn't work out him living with her but now it looks long term it's time for them to move on.

I can’t believe that after 5 years rent free she still did not buy you a coffee. Tight arse sister.

But at least you’ll be getting rent soon.

You have possibly created a situation where your sister & her children can claim financial dependency on you & your DH as you have provided over £160k worth of accommodation over the last 5 years. speak to your solicitor about this.
I can’t believe any self respecting man would not offer to pay rent , but it seems you have also gained a cocklodger.
You need to get them out or paying full market rent asap.