AIBU to ask DH to come back from London as baby and I are unwell?

[Dinosaurhearmeroar]

Wasn’t sure where to put this as have a bit of a dilemma. DH is away for today and tonight for a work thing in London. It is a new job (end of Jan) so he is still making good impression etc and on best behaviour. All was agreed and grandma is staying tonight to help with my 8 week old and almost four year old.

Baby has had her 8 week jabs today and is now very cranky - a lot of crying/ screaming and off her milk. This would be fine if I was on my own but I have a really bad eye infection. It was a stye but has now developed (as of this morning!)into a full infection and doctor has mentioned I would have to go to a and e if not improved after the antibiotics given.

my right side of face is so painful
and I feel really run down. Grandma is staying but she is in her 70s and I would never expect her to do the nights.

im really worried that I won’t be able to cope with my screaming baby in the night who might be a lot worse and the night will be really disturbed. I’m really suffering and need some sleep (we split the nights - I do the lion’s share and he does from 4-6:30 approx).

I have called him to ask him to consider coming back as I need my husband.

what would you do? Aibu to ask? Please be kind in responses, this is a bit of a shit situation and I feel physically very poorly.

Absolutely nothing that poster said was in bad taste.

Hi OP, if you do come back to this thread I hope it finds you well on the road to recovery, it sounds like it has been a real roller coaster. You have handled it with calmness and grace, wishing you good health and better days ahead

It was a ‘toughen up’ post made to an OP who is currently in hospital potentially fighting to save her sight. Yes, it was in bad taste.

I doubt op will be back now. She’s probably focusing on more important things like, you know, getting better. Posts like this do worry me. I know she was asking for advice but some of the genuinely dangerous comments she got could have led her to ‘stick it out’ to the point where she might have been seriously ill. Thankfully she was sensible enough to go back to the GP and listen to his advice not have a red bull and get on with it as one helpful poster suggested.
I would urge people to be a bit more empathetic or if you can’t manage that, just not completely irresponsible in your advice. There are a lot of vulnerable people on here who are influenced by your replies.

Posters dump their own anger/unprocessed emotions on vulnerable people. It’s called bullying in real life, but here they can hide. Thankfully Op is robust enough to hopefully know that they’re silly little dickheads

It was a sympathetic and empathic post to the original post, when 2 adults were in the house, there was nothing in bad taste about it. Subsequent events for the OP are not really related to how someone answers the post originally.

Your post is an example of the hyperbole on this site (non humorous).

The comment was submitted after the OP was admitted to hospital, whether the poster meant it that way or not is irrelevant. So yes, it was in bad taste.

Also even at the start of this thread some of us could see the probable outcome of OP’s situation, in that she would probably have to quite urgently go to hospital. If you weren’t able to see that, then that’s on you.

yes and comments like pull yourself together and women up, have a red bull etc mentioned after it was clear that the gp was worried about cellulitis.

i do sometimes worry that people who do not know what they are talking about are being keyboard warriors jumping on a bandwagon not realising they could actually be legitimately making someone question whether or not they are being over dramatic and then they risk their eye sight or worse. It is really bloody scary.

op I hope your ok. I hope you know this was not anxiety like some people made it out and it was nothing to do with coping. You had a medical emergency where you needed your other half on standby. That’s what you do in a partnership. You were right to feel worried and nervous about him being away. I hope you are making a speedy recovery.

OP's update did not say she was fighting to save her sight, fgs! She said she needed a strong drip (presumably antibiotics) and should be ok.

Most people responded to the information given at the time, which was that OP had seen the GP, was on the correct treatment at the time and had another adult there helping her. There needed to be some time to determine whether the antibiotics she was given were sufficient before sending her to hospital, by which time the husband would likely be home - which he was by the time OP updated.

It's lazy for some pps not to not have read the update, but let's not embellish the OP's situation for effect maybe?

You are such a sweet and gracious woman.

please let us know when you are home and feeling better!

Thinking of you, OP. You sound so lovely, unlike some of those miserable posters who put you down to feel better about themselves! So glad your husband is home now, which must be a huge relief. Wishing you a speedy recovery and please let us know when you are back home! 💐

I’ve just found this thread and had to stop reading all the posts apart from yours OP. So many nasty and ignorant responses. I hope you are out of hospital and recovered now. Glad you have had a grandparent who was able to support you. Clearly you are far kinder than many here showing concern for her welfare while she was helping you.

It's hard to believe some of the tough love posters were actually raised by mothers. Most of them sound as if they could have been raised in a barn by a half-feral mother cat who didn't take any nonsense and offed any of those kittens she considered didn't have as much of a chance as the others. As for those posters suggesting that she order something on Amazon - words literally fail me. I hope OP is feeling better at least but there is little hope for some of the posters on this thread to evolve into better human beings.

@Darkladyofthesonnets you put that so well!
@Dinosaurhearmeroar hope you're on the mend now 💐

And do you know what the antibiotics were doing? Reducing the chance of op losing her sight which is a real concern and side effect of cellutis. Again please can we we not down play what op had as as the end of the day she was at severe risk of losing her sight with the infection that she had. She was in hospital due to that risk. That was bot posters being dramatic.

It wasn’t embellished. You’re dismissing the risk.

Hi everyone - just reading through messages now. Didn’t think this post would go to 12 pages!

I was in overnight and discharged Sunday - they were worried because when I moved my eye it hurt and my sight had worsened. Was put on more abx via drip and this seemed to do trick. Eye looked awful the next day but pain had alleviated and sight was a little better (I have crap eyesight anyway!). Doctors said it was cellulitis but thankfully abx had stopped it going behind my eye.

thank you to the recent posts defending me - didn’t have to but much appreciated 🌷.

So pleased to hear you are doing better OP. Hope you feel tip top again soon 💐

Pointing out that your post wasn't an accurate description of OP's situation as she'd reported it isn't the same as dismissing the risk.

I'm very glad OP seems to be recovering now and has been treated and discharged.

Did you miss the word 'potentially'? That risk is present. High impact, low likelihood but present. @LuckyPeachStork was accurate.

Honestly, you’ve been so gracious and generous that I think you’re a bit of a hero, @Dinosaurhearmeroar.

Get well soon

As for the idiots who can’t even be bothered to read your updates - the foolish will always be with us on MN, sadly.

Thanks @BrickBiscuit . That’s exactly it. There was a real risk of a quite devastating outcome. The idea that the OP was meant to walk a tightrope of probability for something so important rather than request help from her significant other is such a classic example of the struggle olympics that we see far too often on Mumsnet, and which makes this site sometimes so toxic.