AIBU to ask DH to come back from London as baby and I are unwell?

[Dinosaurhearmeroar]

Wasn’t sure where to put this as have a bit of a dilemma. DH is away for today and tonight for a work thing in London. It is a new job (end of Jan) so he is still making good impression etc and on best behaviour. All was agreed and grandma is staying tonight to help with my 8 week old and almost four year old.

Baby has had her 8 week jabs today and is now very cranky - a lot of crying/ screaming and off her milk. This would be fine if I was on my own but I have a really bad eye infection. It was a stye but has now developed (as of this morning!)into a full infection and doctor has mentioned I would have to go to a and e if not improved after the antibiotics given.

my right side of face is so painful
and I feel really run down. Grandma is staying but she is in her 70s and I would never expect her to do the nights.

im really worried that I won’t be able to cope with my screaming baby in the night who might be a lot worse and the night will be really disturbed. I’m really suffering and need some sleep (we split the nights - I do the lion’s share and he does from 4-6:30 approx).

I have called him to ask him to consider coming back as I need my husband.

what would you do? Aibu to ask? Please be kind in responses, this is a bit of a shit situation and I feel physically very poorly.

I’m glad you’re getting treatment OP - look after yourself and hope you get better soon. Sounds like you’ve had a tough time so I hope that trend is ending

Only on mumsnet!
She’s literally in hospital on a super strong drip.
She’d be dead from infection if she followed your advice. Or best case scenario, blind.

Read the full thread for the love of all that is holy. People still minimising her symptoms after they proved to be serious!

Feel better soon @Dinosaurhearmeroar, hope you manage to get some sleep.

Sorry to hear you are so poorly. Wishing you a quick recovery and well done for seeking medical attention promptly and ignoring the woman who told you to go to specsavers 😂

Get well soon

Edited

Hope you feel better soon. Does baby take a bottle?

My point is you were giving her advice like she was still in the original situation because you didn’t bother to read the updates. And your advice was rubbish. Like many of the posters here you basically minimised her symptoms and told her to crack on.

This place is a genuine health hazard imo

Hope you're feeling better soon. Really not ideal for you with two little ones but hopefully you will be out quickly. I remember having to go in for mastitis when my baby was very young, it's horrible leaving them but nothing you can do when so poorly and little one won't remember.

You mentioned baby had her 8 week jabs, was that the one with rotavirus drops? They can cause very funny tummy upsets. Hope she feels better soon too 🙂

If your the type to take random advise of the internet then you risk your life like that the rest of us are too busy

Hard agree! There were plenty of posters saying “are you always this anxious?”. Ffs bloody hideous.

Don’t mess around with eyes - far too important!

There are, up and down the country, many people who are on antibiotics, who may have to ho into into hospital if their condition worsens.

Many people who are under the care of DN who may have to go into hospital.

There are teams specifically called hospital avoidance teams looking after people at home who may deteriorate and need hospital care.

So no, it wasn't a foregone conclusion.

OP you've done really well to cope.
I was admitted with periorbital cellulitis for a week (but I'm on chemo so things take a while to settle). It's a nasty place to get an infection as it's close to the sinuses and brain. Hopefully you'll only be in 24/48 hours and feeling much better by this time tomorrow.

Hope you feel much better soon OP. Be kind to yourself. 💐

Hope you're doing ok. I had HG with both babies and it was hell looking after my toddler when my husband was working weekends.

If you can, let us know what happens at the hospital

@Dinosaurhearmeroar Hope the antibiotics do their trick and you soon start to feel better.

What a lot to contend with. You only had a baby 8 weeks ago, so your hormones are still adjusting and your body recovering. No wonder you may have felt stressed and anxious over the situation.

I'm glad your DH is home now and that your mum has been able to help out. It sounds like you've all done the best you can with a challenging situation.

Remember, you may still feel more tired when you are discharged due to nee baby and illness so get rest when you are able to.

Good luck.

Oh gosh, OP - this was me in November (I suffer from recurring nasty infections due to a chronic disease, and actually may be taking your hospital bed after you because antibiotics aren’t causing enough improvement 😂). I don’t even have a baby, and I cannot even halfway bloody imagine how I’d deal; I was up in pain at 1am and slept until 6pm today due to the infection! I hope you’re safely out of hospital tomorrow after the super drip. Please let us know how the MRI goes if you need support. I have some experience with eyes (if you have health anxiety and need more support than Google)^ as my disease also causes uveitis, which is knock you on your arse painful, for me at least.

^ But I’m by no means a medical professional. I’m a writer and researcher.

.

I understand wanting your husband with you because you are feeling so awful but it’s only for a very short time and Granny can help during the day. Your husband’s work is very important too at the moment. He’ll be back before you know it. Try to get through it an hour at a time. X

Read the OPs updates. He didn’t come home, she got worse and is in hospital.

It's all crap isn't it when you feel ill with a cranky baby..
However he's not going to thank you for pleading him to come home..what would you do if he was out of the country?
Grandmas is there to lean on.. 70s is not at all ancient, and you're not asking her to take sole charge. Try taking in turns and hopel the antibs kick in soon for you...Calpol will help the post jab cranks.

Realise this is a bit of an after post now so I hope things have settled 😊

The race to the bottom on here is outrageous. 'There are single mothers with 3 kids undergoing chemo and they manage'. Do they? Do you think maybe they would also like a bit of support and someone to take the kids off their hands for a little while so they can rest? Imagine using unwell single mothers as a fucking weapon against other mothers.

RTFT

I genuinely believe that a minority of posters use this site as an outlet for the deeply unpleasant side to their personalities that they have to keep a lid on in their real lives.

I’m not sure “there was a slim possibility that OP might not have had to go into hospital so kicking her when she was down was totally justified” is quite the gotcha you seem to think it is.