AIBU to ask DH to come back from London as baby and I are unwell?

[Dinosaurhearmeroar]

Wasn’t sure where to put this as have a bit of a dilemma. DH is away for today and tonight for a work thing in London. It is a new job (end of Jan) so he is still making good impression etc and on best behaviour. All was agreed and grandma is staying tonight to help with my 8 week old and almost four year old.

Baby has had her 8 week jabs today and is now very cranky - a lot of crying/ screaming and off her milk. This would be fine if I was on my own but I have a really bad eye infection. It was a stye but has now developed (as of this morning!)into a full infection and doctor has mentioned I would have to go to a and e if not improved after the antibiotics given.

my right side of face is so painful
and I feel really run down. Grandma is staying but she is in her 70s and I would never expect her to do the nights.

im really worried that I won’t be able to cope with my screaming baby in the night who might be a lot worse and the night will be really disturbed. I’m really suffering and need some sleep (we split the nights - I do the lion’s share and he does from 4-6:30 approx).

I have called him to ask him to consider coming back as I need my husband.

what would you do? Aibu to ask? Please be kind in responses, this is a bit of a shit situation and I feel physically very poorly.

Hope all goes Ok at the Drs.

I know you don't want your mum to have to deal with too much but at least she is there & capable so if you need to go to hospital you can without delay.

Came on to see how the night went. Glad it was okay. Anxiety is a hard one to rationalise; your normally logical brain just catastrophises everything and you can feel very alone. Hope your eye gets better soon.

Not any more, but if you read my earlier post you will see that I was alone with zero help for 5 days/nights a week for the first 18 months of DD’s life, and had frequent bouts of mastitis. I wouldn’t have dragged DH home and not had he dragged me home when he/DD have been ill in the years since when I have been working away.

My husband worked full-time 12hr nightshirts as a nurse when I had 2 under 3 and a 6yr old. He worked those shifts when they were newborns right up until they were 10. Trust me, you will survive one night. Get your antibiotics. I am sure Nan will be fine with the baby because this won't be her first rodeo. You'd be surprised at how spry some 70yr olds are, and she will also empathise with you.

Just spotted you survived the night. Didn't see the time stamp for this thread. You did it! Fantastic!

I would go to A&E if your GP has advised this. They are giving you individualised advice specific to you. NHS advice is general advice but you have been assessed directly and your GP thinks you need an escalation in your treatment. I’m sure they’ll get it all under control in no time!

Give baby Calpol after jabs. Antibiotics and painkillers for you. Reduce mental load / physical load... it can all wait. Watch TV and get take away if needed.

Thanks for the update OP, good to hear that the night passed relatively peacefully. Your mum sounds like a hero, and I am sure it is a comfort having her with you. Very much hope that you do not have to go to hospital but if you do I hope it means the infection clears up faster and you can get back to feeling more like you.

How's your eye lovely lady? Hope the antibiotics are kicking in now.

If it helps I was diagnosed with asthma this morning, which was fun and I now have to go back to the doctors at 4pm for an appointment to look at my stupid eye which has been suffering from temporary blindness on and off due to stupid chronic sinusitis.

Honestly I could happily chop my head off!

Hope your husband is home now and taking care of you.

Adding to the chorus of people saying you've dealt with the comments on this thread with grace @Dinosaurhearmeroar I'm just waiting for someone to come along and say they cured Occular Cellulitis with some Optrex they picked up at Boots with a newborn strapped to their front & a 2 year old in a papoose on their back whilst pushing 3 year old quintuplets in a specially designed buggy 😉

Hopefully you’ve seen your Dr by now but for any reason they don't/can't fit you in then please get yourself to A&E. As I said in a previous post I had this exact condition recently & found myself in a dangerous situation very rapidly. Don’t underplay it, don’t delay. Let us know how you get on

It’s only the one night , yes it will be a bit rubbish but you can’t ask him to come home .
You have your mum and she’s only 70 , not elderly.
You can do the night wakeups and she can mind the children to let you have a nap during the day tomorrow .
I do hope the antibiotics kick in soon, poor you

I had a horrendous cyst on my eye last year. I spent my 50th birthday in a&e. I got cellulitis as well but it settled with the antibiotics. The cyst was one of the most painful things I have ever had happen to me. It took months to go down. It’s a year ago next week and I still have swelling where it was. I’m still traumatised! I can’t imagine trying to look after a poorly baby with a similar infection, I feel your pain. I hope you aren’t in hospital now and are feeling in some way better.

Hope you are okay @Dinosaurhearmeroar

Outrageous

just an update - eye didn’t respond to antibiotics so I am now in hospital 🤦‍♀️. Have been on a drip and they’re sending me to eye hospital for an MRI. Not sure what the next stage is, have no knowledge about eyes?!

Thanks for the well wishes and concern - moral of the story is eye infections are no joke!

So sorry you’re going through this OP. Can’t offer any advice but wishing you well ❤️. Would be nice if some of the ‘toughen up’ responders felt some shame at their earlier messages, considering how things have turned out, but they won’t. No doubt they’ve moved onto a new target 🙄.

You’ve got someone with you. Leave him be with his work event.

Sorry to read your update and hope your eye infection gets better soon

Oh my god, read the updates. She’s in hospital now.

Oh no OP! I hope they can sort things for you and you are home soon.

Wishing you a speedy recovery. Sounds awful and so difficult being ill with babies and children to worry about. I hope your dh was able to get back quickly

Best wishes for your recovery Op.

I wish there was an ejector seat for anyone who posts having clearly not even read all the OP’s posts.

Something like being teleported into a shower with a naked Nigel Farage or something.

I was a toughen up responder.

Responding to the information at the time.

Things have now changed.

I don't regret my previous posts as it was based on the information I was given at the tome, not on what might happen!

@Dinosaurhearmeroar Oh I'm so sorry, I've had cellulitis too a number of times and it can be really virulent, I've needed IV antibiotics in hospital 3 times. Periorbital kind is particularly nasty. I really hope they can get on top of it as soon as possible, is DH back now to help with the kids?

It was good you let him do the job thing as that's important, but this must be so stressful for you, especially with little ones. Sending lots of love and let us know how the eye is doing.

She always always had cellulitis which is such a serious condition. Things haven’t really changed just evolved very predictability based on her illness

he should have come home straight away.