AIBU to ask DH to come back from London as baby and I are unwell?

[Dinosaurhearmeroar]

Wasn’t sure where to put this as have a bit of a dilemma. DH is away for today and tonight for a work thing in London. It is a new job (end of Jan) so he is still making good impression etc and on best behaviour. All was agreed and grandma is staying tonight to help with my 8 week old and almost four year old.

Baby has had her 8 week jabs today and is now very cranky - a lot of crying/ screaming and off her milk. This would be fine if I was on my own but I have a really bad eye infection. It was a stye but has now developed (as of this morning!)into a full infection and doctor has mentioned I would have to go to a and e if not improved after the antibiotics given.

my right side of face is so painful
and I feel really run down. Grandma is staying but she is in her 70s and I would never expect her to do the nights.

im really worried that I won’t be able to cope with my screaming baby in the night who might be a lot worse and the night will be really disturbed. I’m really suffering and need some sleep (we split the nights - I do the lion’s share and he does from 4-6:30 approx).

I have called him to ask him to consider coming back as I need my husband.

what would you do? Aibu to ask? Please be kind in responses, this is a bit of a shit situation and I feel physically very poorly.

Oh lovey - eye infections ARE no joke, I’ve had them, DD had one when she was 2. Sending you good vibes

At the time I posted she had an eye infection.

She already had help and at that time there was no need for her husband to come home.

Dear God, this is such a great example of how culture has completely overridden the way we should be raising children--in community. Even just 2 people raising kids is a lot! Do you have a good friend to call to help and maybe take pressure off? Sure grandma's there, but that can add to the stress. Parenting is awfully difficult. You will get through this!

Eye infections can move very rapidly, within hours which is why the gp was looking at it so closely. Gp had said it was very likely cellitus. This was a medical emergency as she was truly at risk of being admitted at any point. I know I wouldn’t have even had to ask my dp and he would have left on his own accord as you know he is a decent human…

Many years ago with two daughters under the age of 3 and having just moved to Germany (hubby in the army), he was awaay on exercise for 2 weeks. I contracted tonsalitis and was very poorly. It was a case of just getting on with it as we have just moved there I didn't know anybody, no relatives to call upon. I survived, the girls survived and hubby came back withoutu knowing a thing. (Yup I divorced him in the end but that's another story!)

Did you read any of the posts after the original one? 🙄 The event was over and done with yesterday and OP is now in hospital because her eye infection didn't respond to the antibiotics she'd been given. If you can't keep up with a thread, don't comment.

Be sure you give baby calpol after shots to take the edge off.

Any infection can rapidly deteriorate.

She already had another adult there.

Her husband could still have done his work then made his way home.

So sorry to hear that. I've been hospitalised with severe cellulitis - leg not eye. It was a very unpleasant experience and I had no small children to worry about. I really hope it responds quickly to more targeted treatment.

Welcome to parenthood...... it's a baptism of fire but just get through it. Whatever you can do to make it easier, do it. Don't get dressed, let the gran do whatever she can, let the mess and dishes get out of control. Then when your husband gets back hand it all over to him.

It was perfectly obvious to anyone with half an ounce of intelligence that this could be the outcome.

Be honest now. What you wanted to do was kick someone when they were down because it was fun and you enjoyed it.

Oh how wise you are with hindsight

No. I wasn't kicking her when she was down.

She had another adult there and at the time was on the appropriate treatment.

She already has an older child, she knows what parenting is like. The fact she was considering calling suggests how worried she was. She had another adult but gave numerous reasons as to why she didn't want to put too much on them. And now as she feared she IS in hospital.

Hi - I’m very sorry.

A couple of eye questions:
Is it scratchy when you blink? Like you’ve got sandpaper on the inside of your eyelid?

I’ve been suffering the same lately and I got 2 items on Amazon overnight that really helped.

1. Eyelid cleansing wipes
2. gel eye drops

I use the wipes on both eyes but I only use the gel drops in my scratchy eye.

I hope you’re feeling better soon. I swear I’m gonna needlepoint SHIT HAPPENS onto a pillow one of these days.

Sending love from faraway ❤️

I think your being a little over dramatic you have an eye infection you have anti biotics and another adult in the house it is what it is there’s single parents managing 3 kids with chemo take painkillers give the baby calpolcand crack on

You haven’t read all of OP’s updates, have you?

Final update and then I’ll leave you all be! In hospital and being watched overnight. They think I just need super strong drip and I shiuld
be okay. I’m going to just rest - dad is home now with the girls and we’re all okay. 👌 thanks everyone. I’ll be there for you when your chips are down (hopefully won’t be the case but sentiment etc!)

x

There's a dreadful pattern on Mumsnet of vulnerable posters coming for support only to be flayed for not being superwomen. And then when the situation inevitably goes south, those original posters either evaporate or bleat about how on earth they were meant to know a vulnerable person was vulnerable. There was a thread a few months back where a mum with a sick baby was lambasted for even considering contacting her DH. The baby of course ended up in hospital and posters were still writing catty responses to her original post even while the baby was being assessed. Honestly, what a village.

I would leave him. There's another adult in the house. If you were totally alone it would be a different matter. Eye infection sounds miserable, hope you feel better soon.

Yep I read it she is getting IV antibiotics and the kids are with another adult the baby is fine from the injections and partner husband in way home to parent still stand by it you have to get on with it we all know how hard it is being a mother luckily for her she has a support network

🙄

I didn’t realise I live in a communist state that I have to only answer the question and not give my opinion. Nope checked I’m still in the UK I can still give my opinion. Not me sweetie F given if you liked it or not. Walk to a mirror remind yourself the world is not controlled by you babs

I don't know whether I'm more annoyed at people not reading the updates, people being assholes with 'tough love', or people making it about them.

You're in the right place OP and I hope for a swift recovery for you.

It’s not hindsight to work out that a person who has been told she might have to go into hospital might then have to go into hospital - that’s just basic reading and comprehension, skills you evidently lack, along with humility.