AIBU to think this punishment is unreasonable?

[teamaven]

This is probably going to be divisive 💀 not looking for any judgment, only opinions.

My DD has just turned 5. I got a message from her teacher to say that at playtime, a child (boy also aged 5) had snatched some flowers off my daughter that she had picked at playtime. My daughter in turn hit the child, and therefore was to lose the next day’s lunchtime play. I will just add that she is not violent and this up until now has been a one off.

My first reaction was a bit horrified that she would hit someone and I was disappointed.

However, the first reaction of multiple family members have been ‘well they shouldn’t have snatched her flowers off of her, there you go’. My family is very well respected, especially my dad who is very professional so I was a bit shocked he would say this! But after much thought 🤷🏼‍♀️ 🤷🏼‍♀️. At the least I think both children should have been told off in this situation.

What are your opinions - before I draft my reply to the teacher?

Your reply should be

thank you for letting me know. I will also speak to DD about keeping her hands to herself.

That's should then be the end of it

DD is little she will learn. You will also learn not to overact to every school incident. Support the teacher.

Of course the boy should have been told off too, snatching something isn’t kind behaviour however your daughter’s response was far too extreme. Hitting isn’t acceptable. It’s arguably ok if in self defence but this wasn’t. I think losing playtime is fair.

A whole lunch time play the next day, at 5?
That doesn't seem typical for a first, reactionary, offense!

Read their behaviour policy though. If it is inline then YWBU

Absolutely this.

Well I’m sure another appropriate consequence could be given the same day. Perhaps an apology, perhaps something else. It doesn’t have to be a loss of playtime if it happens right at the end.