Childminder has had complaints about my son lashing out

[ohsonogo]

My son 2.5 is a sweet boy with a bit of a temper. Multiple times the childminder has asked me to keep his nails short as he lashes out at other children’s faces when annoyed. She says there have been more than ten times that she’s had to send another child home with scratches on their face. Today my partner picked up and she said ‘please cut xxx nails tonight as he’s using them as a weapon’. She’s messages me this

‘Hi, just to let you know xx has scratched another child’s face today again, very close to their eye. The parents are understandably upset and have sent me a very angry message. This other child was also hurt last week. I have now had to apologise to 5 parents due to scratches on their faces. Can you please ensure xx’s nails are kept as short as possible otherwise I won’t be able to accept him back into the setting. I will be in touch soon once I have a better idea of how to proceed with this ongoing issue. Thanks, xxxx ‘

what the hell do I do or say to that? Why is she being such a bitch, there’s only so much I can do when I’m not there.

Childminder isn’t the one being a bitch.

‘Sweet boy with a bit of a temper’ has scratched 5 different kids! If I were a childminder, I’d be wanting to move him on too just to protect my business.
A wind up thread, I suspect!

I think you should be worried!!!!

Clearly "every week" is not enough - you need to check them every morning if this is how he behaves.
I'm surprised the child minder hasn't got rid of him already - the parents of the children he has scratched will think he is anything but "sweet."

She isn’t being a bitch, she’s safeguarding the other children who are being injured on a daily/weekly basis.

I wouldn’t be surprised if she does ask you to find alternative childcare if he continues to harm other children like this.

This can't be true. No one can be that blind to think this isn't a problem.

If you found out your child had been injured, be it bitten or scratched in the face 2 weeks in a row, and they'd done it to 4 other kids in the past week you'd be sending very angry messages to childminder that its their job to safeguard and make sure that child can't hurt yours again.

I'd also be shocked if its true as any other setting would have declined to keep child before got this bad.

I’d be taping mittens on his hands every day, if I were the childminder.

And how does that translate into she's being a bitch???

And describing your 2.5 year as a sweet boy "with a bit of a temper" is interesting.

But he's a sweet boy, he just has a tiny bit of a temper 😂

what the hell do I do or say to that?
You apologise profusely for the fact that your son's 'bit of a temper' is injuring other children.

Why is she being such a bitch,
She's not. This is how people behave when they are of the view that the world does not revolve around your son and his rights and feelings do not trump everyone else's.

there’s only so much I can do when I’m not there
There is also a lot more you can do at home. You can check his nails every morning. You can talk to him about his behaviour. You can have empathy that this is horrible and upsetting for the other children and their parents. You can stop with your laissez-faire attitude that other children being attacked by your son is less of a problem than the inconvenience of having to cut his nails more often.

Kids nails can grow so quickly, you need to be checking daily ir every other day and keeping on top of them. It's not acceptable to allow other kids to be ripped at just because you're not checking his nails often enough.

Nails don't grow long in a day.

You're either not cutting them short enough or you're not telling us the full story.

She has politely asked you to cut his nails. So do that.

I'm in my 60s and still have scars on the back of my hands where a girl dug her nails into them when I was 7.

The fact you called her a bitch explains a lot about why your child sounds absolutely feral

The issue here isn’t being addressed. Why is he still lashing out? If he’s doing this so frequently I’m perplexed as to why you aren’t managing this behaviour. You should be working with the childminder. She has every right to tell you your son can’t come back to the setting, it clearly isn’t right for him

She’s isn’t being a “bitch” - vile to call another woman a bitch by the way.
What are you doing to address your child’s behaviour? If you don’t sort it out you’re going to be left without childcare.
If you were the partner of a child that was being injured by another child in childcare you’d be angry and want it sorting out.

You are doing your son no favours. Please work on his behaviour and your attitude, or school will be a long and rocky road.

Is this a joke? I think you might be the problem.OP. Why should the other kids put up with your sons poor behaviour. I woild address it quickly or you will end up without any childcare.

You can see where he gets it from.

And that would likely be for the best given he's constantly attacking other children!

Wild you're calling the childminder a bitch, absolutely shocking.

I think she’s trying to find a way she can keep your son in the setting but if he continues to hurt the other children then yes she will likely give notice. Which is reasonable otherwise she could lose other business.

Does he do it at home? In other houses like say grandparents? Or when you are out?
Whats driving him to lose his temper? In order to try and stop it it helps to understand the cause.
What do you do when he does it? What’s the consequence? What does childminder do?
how long has it been happening?

How happy is he at the setting? If he’s getting overwhelmed frequently you may need to consider if this is the most suitable setting. He may be better with something smaller or a nursery with larger rooms or a more forest based style setting.

Why are so many people focusing on the nails? If he's lashing out, he's a danger to the other children anyway. The fact that his nails are scratching them is almost irrelevant.

My son scratched a child's face a few months ago. I immediately said to the teacher we will cut his nails so why can't you? Try to work with her because she might decide to say she can't look after him anymore.