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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours trying to intimidate me over parking issues

272 replies

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 13:59

I live on a small estate where each house has a driveway that can fit 2 cars. There’s also room on the street, so every house can accommodate at least 3 cars. The driveways are single file, which means people sometimes have to move their cars around, but that’s never really been an issue. Just for context, I live alone, so it’s a bit easier for me. I’ve been here for almost 7 years and was quite happy until recently when my lovely neighbours moved away in November. My new neighbours moved in, we introduced ourselves, exchanged greetings when we passed by, and everything seemed fine. However, things took a turn in January when their son (they’re a couple with a son in his 20s) got a transit van for work.

At first, they parked both their cars in the driveway and the van outside their house, swapping them around like everyone else. But a few weeks later, he started parking it outside mine. I figured it was just a one time thing and didn’t think much of it, but then he kept doing it every day, sometimes leaving it parked there for several days in a row. The thing is, my front garden is small, so the van ends up blocking my living room window, and honestly, it’s not great to look at every single day. I didn’t mind him parking there every now and then, but I thought it was a bit inconsiderate to do it all the time while leaving their own window empty. It also meant that my guests had to park further down the road and walk, when before they could park right outside. It’s a public road, so I never told them not to park there, but I did politely ask if they could switch it with one of their cars. They said no because the drive wasn’t wide enough for the van, and if they parked it in front of their house, they’d have to keep moving it to get the cars off the drive.

They were parking one car on the drive and one on the road, so they didn’t have to move either of them. I explained that it blocked my view and wasn’t pleasant to look at all the time, but they just repeated that it wasn’t possible to move it. There’s a small lay-by in the next street (you can see it from both our houses, and you walk through a little alley to get there) that isn’t in front of anyone’s house, so I asked if he could park the van there, but they said it wasn’t possible in case tools got stolen, etc, so that was that, and I never mentioned it up again.

Honestly, it bugged me for a bit and definitely soured the relationship, but there wasn't much I could do, so I just tried to ignore it. Then in February, my friend decided to sell her car. It’s an old Toyota Aygo and was very cheap, so I thought I'd grab it as a little runaround. I live up in the hills which can be a hassle, especially when my car is in the garage as the local bus only comes every two hours, making it difficult to get around and manage work. The car has an MOT until next year, it's taxed and insured, and I've been parking it outside my house. My main car is on the drive. I won’t lie, it was nice not having to see a big van every day too so that was definitely a bonus. A couple of weeks after I parked the car there, my neighbour asked if it was mine. I said yes, and asked if everything was okay. They brought up the van and mentioned it was difficult for them since they had nowhere else to park. I suggested the lay-by again or said they could park outside their own house (like everyone else), but they weren’t happy and asked me to put it on my drive since I wasn’t using it every day. I told them no, sorry, but they have space outside their own house, and I’m parking my car in the space outside mine. I probably could have been nicer about it, but they didn’t seem to care when they were blocking my front window and making it difficult for my guests, so I didn’t have much sympathy for them.

Since then, tensions have been high, and they’ve asked me several times to move my car. Now, they’ve started to block my driveway with their van (not completely blocking it, but the back end is hanging over, making it difficult to get in and out), tossing rubbish into my garden, and just generally being rude and trying to intimidate me. The last time I talked to them was on Saturday when they jokingly threatened to tow my car away (I have cameras at the front of my house). They were laughing but I could tell it was a threat. I doubt they would act this way if I had a partner.

Am I being unreasonable for saying that if they keep this up, I’ll call the police?

OP posts:
Happyjoe · 18/03/2026 15:26

nopalite · 18/03/2026 15:24

They shouldn’t be intimidating you and I would report them if they continue.

I can also see it would be annoying to have a van outside constantly but they have the right to do so. You’re not going to get an amicable solution now so you’re kind of stuck with the pointless car or the ugly van.

You have kind of caused this. I don’t believe for a second that people buy a spare car in case theirs needs to have some repairs. People might borrow or hire for a few days.

I think you should at least be honest with yourself that you did this to stop them parking there and that is really petty. I’d certainly respect the effort. 😄

The van owning family own cars and a van. Why do they need so many vehicles? I used to own a van, and I used that van for all my driving, even off to the supermarket.
So why do the van owning family get to have multiple cars AND a van and not the OP? She has 'the right to do so' as much as the next person, surely?

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 15:26

JacquesHarlow · 18/03/2026 15:15

Honestly @crispsbutty I feel really bad for you on this thread.

This thread should go in Mumsnet Classics as an example of where no matter how reasonable, polite, law-abiding and considered the OP is in their behaviour...

...they must always be considered wrong in "AIBU", in the main so that people can have the opportunity to play "The Sport" of AIBU and see if they can wind up the OP by providing a steady rhythm of little gaslighting comments and insults such as "You sound ridiculous", "you sound unhinged" etc.

Haha, it’s okay! My fault for posting in AIBU. I wouldn’t expect anything less 😂

OP posts:
FireplaceJane · 18/03/2026 15:27

Very petty behaviour from their part - i can’t say I’d be too worked up about a car/van parked outside my home , given that I had access to my drive and didn’t require further parking.

they have behaved poorly though, I would keep a log of intimidating behaviour/litter etc and report when I had enough.

TheQueenOfTheNight · 18/03/2026 15:27

I know lots of people with more cars than adults at home. A friend of mine and her husband have 4 vehicles between the two of them. A couple of neighbours have vintage cars and modern cars.
It happens!

JohnBullshit · 18/03/2026 15:29

Who buys a second car as a just in case spare? Well, let's see. My next door neighbours have 3 adults living in a house with 5 vehicles. Opposite me, 4 vehicles. Next door to my elderly relatives: one guy, 3 vehicles. All these people have drives, but need to take up parking spaces on the road, which is a bit of a liberty because not everyone does have off-road parking.
We have one car, and a large driveway to keep it on, so the shenanigans and parking wars are our entertainment. Luckily the front garden is long enough to stop next door's work van casting a shadow when it's parked outside our house, so it doesn't bother us, but if I ever need to leave my own car there to accommodate visitors or tradespeople, they really really hate me leaving it outside my gate. So I could understand OP being secretly gleeful about foiling her neighbours' cheeky insistence on leaving the van outside her house rather than their own.

nomas · 18/03/2026 15:30

PurpleThistle7 · 18/03/2026 14:32

Yeah. Agree with this. Feels like you started this and now they're escalating it and really - everyone could have been better.

By this you mean OP should have accepted it because she is a woman and they are men.

jeaux90 · 18/03/2026 15:32

We have a spare car, it’s called the dump car, we use it for all sorts of reasons. Do you have a Ring OP? Can capture any littering or abuse etc

Howmanycatsistoomany · 18/03/2026 15:33

TheDandyLion · 18/03/2026 15:02

You started the intimidation by asking them to move the van and they quite rightly said they didn't have to and you escalated it by buying a another car to claim a space that still isn't yours. Their behaviour now isn't acceptable but neither was yours.

Edited

How is politely asking a neighbour a question intimidation?

Passingthrough123 · 18/03/2026 15:33

I wouldn't have a problem with a van parked outside my house. How many hours do you spend staring out of the window?? Buying a second car and putting it on the street when you have space for it alongside your everyday car on your driveway is a bit petty, frankly, and I'm not surprised relations with your new neighbours have soured. It's all very tit-for-tat.

WearyAuldWumman · 18/03/2026 15:34

JohnBullshit · 18/03/2026 15:29

Who buys a second car as a just in case spare? Well, let's see. My next door neighbours have 3 adults living in a house with 5 vehicles. Opposite me, 4 vehicles. Next door to my elderly relatives: one guy, 3 vehicles. All these people have drives, but need to take up parking spaces on the road, which is a bit of a liberty because not everyone does have off-road parking.
We have one car, and a large driveway to keep it on, so the shenanigans and parking wars are our entertainment. Luckily the front garden is long enough to stop next door's work van casting a shadow when it's parked outside our house, so it doesn't bother us, but if I ever need to leave my own car there to accommodate visitors or tradespeople, they really really hate me leaving it outside my gate. So I could understand OP being secretly gleeful about foiling her neighbours' cheeky insistence on leaving the van outside her house rather than their own.

In our street, we have a few families with two vehicles; some with three.

Then there are the families with two vehicles of their own and a work vehicle of varying sizes. (One chap sometimes parks his work van; other times it's a lorry...on the a bend.)

A chap who works for British Gas has a works vehicle. Another one works for Scottish Water. These randomly appear in front of my house of an evening. A bit annoying because they have some kind of a generator that switches on at certain temperatures.

Fortunately, I now use the back bedroom but the first time I heard the noise I thought that my boiler was acting up.

WearyAuldWumman · 18/03/2026 15:35

Passingthrough123 · 18/03/2026 15:33

I wouldn't have a problem with a van parked outside my house. How many hours do you spend staring out of the window?? Buying a second car and putting it on the street when you have space for it alongside your everyday car on your driveway is a bit petty, frankly, and I'm not surprised relations with your new neighbours have soured. It's all very tit-for-tat.

Edited

If having a van parked in front of your house is unproblematic, it's very strange that the neighbours won't park it in front of their own house.

Wellthisisdifficult · 18/03/2026 15:35

Surely they should put the van on their drive and a car in front for added security if that’s their concern. It’s rude to stick it in front of your house blocking the light.view. Good on you.

Elsvieta · 18/03/2026 15:36

Turn the cameras on the garden, get some shots of them chucking rubbish in, and say if it happens again you'll go to the police?

Park both your cars on the street, one blocking the end of your drive, so they can't park in a way that makes it hard for you to get out?

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 15:36

nopalite · 18/03/2026 15:24

They shouldn’t be intimidating you and I would report them if they continue.

I can also see it would be annoying to have a van outside constantly but they have the right to do so. You’re not going to get an amicable solution now so you’re kind of stuck with the pointless car or the ugly van.

You have kind of caused this. I don’t believe for a second that people buy a spare car in case theirs needs to have some repairs. People might borrow or hire for a few days.

I think you should at least be honest with yourself that you did this to stop them parking there and that is really petty. I’d certainly respect the effort. 😄

I understand why it seems that way (and you have every right not to believe me), but, it really wasn’t something I planned. I wouldn’t have bought a car just to stop them. Yes, it annoyed me, but I wouldn’t throw away money for that. I could have easily gone out and bought a car the moment they said no to moving the van (I mean, you can get a car pretty much the same day if you want to), but I didn’t. It was actually a few weeks later when my friend mentioned that she was selling hers. My mum will also use it when her car needs to go to the garage as she’s a community support worker, and it’s difficult for her to get around when her car acts up.

OP posts:
CitizenofMoronia · 18/03/2026 15:37

Chucking rubbish in your garden is flytipping, get evidence and report it to your council

BruFord · 18/03/2026 15:38

Not sure whether you’ve mentioned that you have cameras-but if you don’t, get one now so that you have solid evidence of them throwing rubbish into your garden, etc.

Keep quiet for a few weeks and let it record….

Re. Your second car. They have three vehicles for one house and you have two, that’s perfectly reasonable.

Uglydumpling · 18/03/2026 15:38

Were you the person who posted a few weeks ago about buying a car to save a space..is that what you’re doing

because you didn’t want the va parked outside your house

MyNeedyLilacBird · 18/03/2026 15:40

I think the bitter comments must be your neighbours and they've found this thread. Op you are not in the wrong at all. Your neighbours sound vile and u wouldn't move either. Oh and I know plenty people who have a 2nd little car as runaround or backup. Not odd at all!

Passingthrough123 · 18/03/2026 15:40

WearyAuldWumman · 18/03/2026 15:35

If having a van parked in front of your house is unproblematic, it's very strange that the neighbours won't park it in front of their own house.

OP mentioned they said the issue for them is that they can't swing their cars off the drive easily if the van was outside their house. Whereas it sounds like OP could still get hers off the drive without an issue.

Honestly, if a neighbour asked me to move my vehicle from a legitimate parking space outside their house because they didn't like the view I'd just laugh and think they were joking. Because, really, who does that?!

Passingthrough123 · 18/03/2026 15:41

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 15:36

I understand why it seems that way (and you have every right not to believe me), but, it really wasn’t something I planned. I wouldn’t have bought a car just to stop them. Yes, it annoyed me, but I wouldn’t throw away money for that. I could have easily gone out and bought a car the moment they said no to moving the van (I mean, you can get a car pretty much the same day if you want to), but I didn’t. It was actually a few weeks later when my friend mentioned that she was selling hers. My mum will also use it when her car needs to go to the garage as she’s a community support worker, and it’s difficult for her to get around when her car acts up.

If it truly wasn't your intention to buy the car and park it out front to annoy them, why not park it on your driveway with your other car?

WearyAuldWumman · 18/03/2026 15:42

CitizenofMoronia · 18/03/2026 15:37

Chucking rubbish in your garden is flytipping, get evidence and report it to your council

Yes, my council advised me that they'd look for names, addresses etc and deal with flytippers.

The one time I found an address, though, I had already returned it to the neighbour's doorstep, though I did let the council know. (Hadn't thought to take a picture, foolishly.)

So...I just mentioned the name of the culprit plus the name of the firm to a couple of my chattier neighbours.

Problem solved. The empty box had the name and address of a Birmingham firm called "Exotic Nights".

If I'd been really evil more quick-witted, I'd have put it on the local FB group.

nomas · 18/03/2026 15:42

Passingthrough123 · 18/03/2026 15:40

OP mentioned they said the issue for them is that they can't swing their cars off the drive easily if the van was outside their house. Whereas it sounds like OP could still get hers off the drive without an issue.

Honestly, if a neighbour asked me to move my vehicle from a legitimate parking space outside their house because they didn't like the view I'd just laugh and think they were joking. Because, really, who does that?!

So they can park their van on their drive then? Why is this OP's problem?

nomas · 18/03/2026 15:43

Passingthrough123 · 18/03/2026 15:41

If it truly wasn't your intention to buy the car and park it out front to annoy them, why not park it on your driveway with your other car?

Why should she make her own life harder by having to move cars around when there is a perfectly good space outside her house?

Honestly the misogyny here is off the wall.

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 15:44

BruFord · 18/03/2026 15:38

Not sure whether you’ve mentioned that you have cameras-but if you don’t, get one now so that you have solid evidence of them throwing rubbish into your garden, etc.

Keep quiet for a few weeks and let it record….

Re. Your second car. They have three vehicles for one house and you have two, that’s perfectly reasonable.

Edited

Thank you. I've got cameras set up at the front of the house already that recorded them tossing the rubbish over. I knew it was them even before I looked at the camera as it was right by the fence on my side and there was no wind on those days.

OP posts:
crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 15:45

Uglydumpling · 18/03/2026 15:38

Were you the person who posted a few weeks ago about buying a car to save a space..is that what you’re doing

because you didn’t want the va parked outside your house

No that wasn’t me. It’s a shame someone else is going through the same thing. Neighbour disputes aren’t nice.

OP posts: