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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours trying to intimidate me over parking issues

272 replies

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 13:59

I live on a small estate where each house has a driveway that can fit 2 cars. There’s also room on the street, so every house can accommodate at least 3 cars. The driveways are single file, which means people sometimes have to move their cars around, but that’s never really been an issue. Just for context, I live alone, so it’s a bit easier for me. I’ve been here for almost 7 years and was quite happy until recently when my lovely neighbours moved away in November. My new neighbours moved in, we introduced ourselves, exchanged greetings when we passed by, and everything seemed fine. However, things took a turn in January when their son (they’re a couple with a son in his 20s) got a transit van for work.

At first, they parked both their cars in the driveway and the van outside their house, swapping them around like everyone else. But a few weeks later, he started parking it outside mine. I figured it was just a one time thing and didn’t think much of it, but then he kept doing it every day, sometimes leaving it parked there for several days in a row. The thing is, my front garden is small, so the van ends up blocking my living room window, and honestly, it’s not great to look at every single day. I didn’t mind him parking there every now and then, but I thought it was a bit inconsiderate to do it all the time while leaving their own window empty. It also meant that my guests had to park further down the road and walk, when before they could park right outside. It’s a public road, so I never told them not to park there, but I did politely ask if they could switch it with one of their cars. They said no because the drive wasn’t wide enough for the van, and if they parked it in front of their house, they’d have to keep moving it to get the cars off the drive.

They were parking one car on the drive and one on the road, so they didn’t have to move either of them. I explained that it blocked my view and wasn’t pleasant to look at all the time, but they just repeated that it wasn’t possible to move it. There’s a small lay-by in the next street (you can see it from both our houses, and you walk through a little alley to get there) that isn’t in front of anyone’s house, so I asked if he could park the van there, but they said it wasn’t possible in case tools got stolen, etc, so that was that, and I never mentioned it up again.

Honestly, it bugged me for a bit and definitely soured the relationship, but there wasn't much I could do, so I just tried to ignore it. Then in February, my friend decided to sell her car. It’s an old Toyota Aygo and was very cheap, so I thought I'd grab it as a little runaround. I live up in the hills which can be a hassle, especially when my car is in the garage as the local bus only comes every two hours, making it difficult to get around and manage work. The car has an MOT until next year, it's taxed and insured, and I've been parking it outside my house. My main car is on the drive. I won’t lie, it was nice not having to see a big van every day too so that was definitely a bonus. A couple of weeks after I parked the car there, my neighbour asked if it was mine. I said yes, and asked if everything was okay. They brought up the van and mentioned it was difficult for them since they had nowhere else to park. I suggested the lay-by again or said they could park outside their own house (like everyone else), but they weren’t happy and asked me to put it on my drive since I wasn’t using it every day. I told them no, sorry, but they have space outside their own house, and I’m parking my car in the space outside mine. I probably could have been nicer about it, but they didn’t seem to care when they were blocking my front window and making it difficult for my guests, so I didn’t have much sympathy for them.

Since then, tensions have been high, and they’ve asked me several times to move my car. Now, they’ve started to block my driveway with their van (not completely blocking it, but the back end is hanging over, making it difficult to get in and out), tossing rubbish into my garden, and just generally being rude and trying to intimidate me. The last time I talked to them was on Saturday when they jokingly threatened to tow my car away (I have cameras at the front of my house). They were laughing but I could tell it was a threat. I doubt they would act this way if I had a partner.

Am I being unreasonable for saying that if they keep this up, I’ll call the police?

OP posts:
Passaggressfedup · 18/03/2026 15:14

why ask all this?!
Asking because that is ultimately what is going to happen. So what does OP thinks is going to happen? What can be done that means that no-one parks in front of her window?

BTW, I am exactly in the same situation. House right off the street and strangers, usually work van parked right in front of living room. Gosh it is annoying but it's one of those things you accept if you buy a house like that.

JacquesHarlow · 18/03/2026 15:15

Honestly @crispsbutty I feel really bad for you on this thread.

This thread should go in Mumsnet Classics as an example of where no matter how reasonable, polite, law-abiding and considered the OP is in their behaviour...

...they must always be considered wrong in "AIBU", in the main so that people can have the opportunity to play "The Sport" of AIBU and see if they can wind up the OP by providing a steady rhythm of little gaslighting comments and insults such as "You sound ridiculous", "you sound unhinged" etc.

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 15:15

Passaggressfedup · 18/03/2026 15:06

You are paying tax and insurance on a car you don't need just to get a view out of your front window? Your choice but are you going to keep paying? Because the minute you stop, they will report it and if you get rid of the car, they rill make sure to park there, even if only to annoy you.

I’ve explained why I bought the car in my previous reply (sorry, not being rude, but a few people have said this so I’m just repeating myself)

OP posts:
OriginalSkang · 18/03/2026 15:15

Don't pretend you didnt 100% buy it to stop them parking there. Its honestly pathetic. Get a rental car/courtesy car or the bus

This is the most cringe thread I've read in a while

JacquesHarlow · 18/03/2026 15:16

OriginalSkang · 18/03/2026 15:15

Don't pretend you didnt 100% buy it to stop them parking there. Its honestly pathetic. Get a rental car/courtesy car or the bus

This is the most cringe thread I've read in a while

You really need to relax a bit with the insults @OriginalSkang .

Why do you always have to get personal with the OP?

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 15:16

OriginalSkang · 18/03/2026 15:08

Maybe just sell the car you don't need and let them continue to legally park wherever they like?

What makes you think I don’t need it? I wouldn’t have bought it otherwise.

OP posts:
WearyAuldWumman · 18/03/2026 15:16

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 15:00

I’ve explained why I bought the car…

A neighbour's boyfriend seemed to take exception to the fact that I had my car in my driveway and my old camper van parked across the driveway: "That thing never moves!" points at van "Neither does that!" points at car

I gather that he was annoyed because he'd have liked the space for his works van.

"Yes, they do. You've just never seen them."

The old camper van lasted longer than he did.

Some people do seem to feel that they should exert dominance over lone females.

LaurieFairyCake · 18/03/2026 15:17

You’re going nothing wrong Flowers

NEVER speak to them about it again, if they approach you about it say ‘I’m not talking to you about it, it’s legally parked’

get a ring doorbell, you may need to contact local police about them throwing rubbish in your garden. You need evidence.

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 15:17

OriginalSkang · 18/03/2026 15:15

Don't pretend you didnt 100% buy it to stop them parking there. Its honestly pathetic. Get a rental car/courtesy car or the bus

This is the most cringe thread I've read in a while

Are you my neighbour @OriginalSkang ?? hello 👋 🤣

OP posts:
CitizenofMoronia · 18/03/2026 15:19

babasaclover · 18/03/2026 14:46

@crispsbuttyyou have to admit you bought it to annoy them. No one has a spare car to use just in case 😂. That said if you’ve got footage of them throwing rubbish etc report them. That’s not on

yeah they do, I bought a cheap run around as my main car was having issues that the garage couldnt find, so I needed a back up, I wont get my money back by selling either of them so I now have 2 cars...

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 15:20

BerryTwister · 18/03/2026 15:09

Obviously neither of you are breaking any rules, as pavement parking is open to everyone.

But most people like to be considerate to their neighbours. Just because something is legal, doesn't necessarily make it right.

OP's neighbours plonked a big van in front of her house rather than their own, blocking her view rather than their own. That is totally legal but also selfish. She asked them nicely not to do it, and they clearly demonstrated that their own convenience mattered more to them than a good relationship with their neighbour. Fine, that's their prerogative, but they can't have it both ways.

OP doesn't want her view blocked, and given that the neighbours have made it clear that they don't care about getting on well, it makes sense for OP to do what suits her best too. Why shouldn't she?

Both parties are thinking of themselves now. But the neighbours started it.

Thank you! I've lived here for 7 years and have always gotten along with my neighbours, never had any problems. Everyone is lovely, considerate, respectful, etc, except for this one family.

OP posts:
BerryTwister · 18/03/2026 15:20

OriginalSkang · 18/03/2026 15:15

Don't pretend you didnt 100% buy it to stop them parking there. Its honestly pathetic. Get a rental car/courtesy car or the bus

This is the most cringe thread I've read in a while

@OriginalSkang just for info:-

  1. Rental car - need to get to a rental place, which might be a long distance, also very expensive
  2. Courtesy car - only dealerships generally offer those. Local independent garages don't usually have them
  3. Bus - OP has pointed out that she lives rurally and buses are infrequent.

I don't have a second car but DS has a car, and I've had to use his on occasion if mine is out of action and I need to go somewhere. Having a cheap second car for emergencies is a good idea. Unaffordable for most people, but clearly not for OP, so why shouldn't she have one?

TheQueenOfTheNight · 18/03/2026 15:21

You don't need to justify why you bought the car, and you're right, they are only doing this because they think it's okay to intimidate a single woman. It's not up to your neighbours or anyone on this thread to decide whether you have a "good enough" reason for parking a car outside your house.

It's probably worth making a note now of everything that happened so far and talk to the community police.

Breadcat24 · 18/03/2026 15:21

We had a car parked outside our house for the last 6 weeks. Did not bother me as we are a corner house so lots of space. We have a neighbour that has a very high turnover of cars. I asked his friend about it because it had a flat tyre and said I though I should put a note on it to stop them damaging their wheel rims.
He denied all knowledge of it
It vanished overnight
Weird

Villanellesproudmum · 18/03/2026 15:22

Police? For petty parking issues, you all just need to grow up.

Happyjoe · 18/03/2026 15:22

OriginalSkang · 18/03/2026 15:15

Don't pretend you didnt 100% buy it to stop them parking there. Its honestly pathetic. Get a rental car/courtesy car or the bus

This is the most cringe thread I've read in a while

Even if she did, why is the OP not allowed to do what she wants and folk think only the van owning neighbour can?

WearyAuldWumman · 18/03/2026 15:23

@BerryTwister

My old camper van came in handy.

Latterly, it wasn't used for camping. It was great for taking stuff to the tip and very handy indeed as a backup and it stopped me from getting blocked in or out of my driveway: very important when I was still working.

I'm down to the one vehicle now and back to occasional problems with arseholes inconsiderate people blocking or partially blocking my driveway.

nopalite · 18/03/2026 15:24

They shouldn’t be intimidating you and I would report them if they continue.

I can also see it would be annoying to have a van outside constantly but they have the right to do so. You’re not going to get an amicable solution now so you’re kind of stuck with the pointless car or the ugly van.

You have kind of caused this. I don’t believe for a second that people buy a spare car in case theirs needs to have some repairs. People might borrow or hire for a few days.

I think you should at least be honest with yourself that you did this to stop them parking there and that is really petty. I’d certainly respect the effort. 😄

CitizenofMoronia · 18/03/2026 15:24

nopalite · 18/03/2026 15:24

They shouldn’t be intimidating you and I would report them if they continue.

I can also see it would be annoying to have a van outside constantly but they have the right to do so. You’re not going to get an amicable solution now so you’re kind of stuck with the pointless car or the ugly van.

You have kind of caused this. I don’t believe for a second that people buy a spare car in case theirs needs to have some repairs. People might borrow or hire for a few days.

I think you should at least be honest with yourself that you did this to stop them parking there and that is really petty. I’d certainly respect the effort. 😄

YES THEY DO!

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 15:24

Villanellesproudmum · 18/03/2026 15:22

Police? For petty parking issues, you all just need to grow up.

Err, no. For harassment?!

OP posts:
Shitwithsugar · 18/03/2026 15:25

OP you have done nothing wrong. Ignore the other PPs.

I'm surrounded by bungalows. All owned by people who are retired.
No 4 now has their sons living there. The sons have a large van each.
Plus a car each and mum and dad have a car each.

Robogob · 18/03/2026 15:25

I’ve never heard of anyone buying a “back up” car. I don’t think you’re being honest with yourself about buying the second car.

I don’t see the problem with them parking the van outside your house. How often do you need a view? Did you sit just looking at the van?

Having said that, can you put security cameras up? Get a big male friend or relative to go round? Or take them a bottle of wine or something and say let’s stop all the silly business and work it out? There’s a few ways this situation could go. I sympathise as it’s hell to have neighbour disputes.

BloominNora · 18/03/2026 15:25

crispsbutty · 18/03/2026 15:12

Who buys a second car for when their main one has to go in the garage?! I did, along with a couple of other people I know. My mum will also use it from time to time. We're not all the same, you know?

I didn't tell them where they could park, either. I just asked nicely if they could swap the van for their car. They said no, and I said okay. That was it.

I am very much of the view that public road = anyone can park there. But I also don't see any issues with you asking politely for them not to do so. They of course had the right to decline and you behaved correctly in not hassling them about it. They were being dicks if there was somewhere else to park, but it is their right to be dicks should they wish.

However, for whatever reason you bought your second car, the (un)intended outcome of massively pissing them off is hilarious! Just keep a log of everything and report them if it starts to get out of hand.

We had a neighbour once that used to key people's cars if the parked outside her house (long street, mostly terraces or semis, almost no offroad parking). I really wanted to buy a cheap, knackered old car to part there, but couldn't afford the insurance and tax at the time.

In terms of the van overhanging the drive - if it actually blocks you in, and your drive has a proper drop curb you can call the police on the non-emergency number and they will either arrange for it to be towed or the council can issue a FPN. Or just do what my DH did when a neighbour kept blocking him in. Despite having to knock to get him to move his van several times and asking him not to block the drive, he kept doing it.

One night, we saw him pull up and block the drive. DH had to be out for work at 5am the next morning. DH declined to tell the neighbour that he had to be out early and ask him to move the car. He just went and knocked their front door at 5am the next morning to get them to move it.

They never blocked the drive again after that!

Solost92 · 18/03/2026 15:25

I dont even care if you bought it for the sole purpose of stopping them parking a huge sign written vsn in front of your living room window. You have a legal car parked legally. It's tough shit for them unfortunately..

Get a ring doorbell. For the littering, verbal abuse and in case they damage the car.

Chestnutmarenutjob · 18/03/2026 15:26

even if the op bought the car for the sole purpose of putting it infront of her house so she didn’t have to look at the van - she’s entitled to! It’s legally parked, taxed etc

op, yanbu. At all.