To think this was unfair, and to take time off for mental health.

[Dawnchorus1]

I work in the civil service, and after returning from mat leave was given the choice of returning to my current job full time or taking a demotion if I wanted to do 3 or 4 days.

I took the demotion. This was nearly 5 years ago. I've contributed fully and enthusiastically in my role and been successful in working on big projects and having my ideas taken forward consistently (we work in an environment where most projects have a few people creating initial ideas which the clients then chose from). This despite being managed by 'replacement', being a single parent to my son, having little family support and having lost my mum suddenly last year, and have been working very hard at keeping my shit together.

We've gone through a restructure recently which has been horrendous for most involved and taken it's toll (multiple applications to apply for our own jobs etc). I kept my job luckily. Then a position opened up for my previous role. My son being at school now I thought it would be a good time to get my career back on track - up my hours and resume previous role.

So put in application. Got interview. Knew others were going for it, but being the one who had actually done the job before thought I had more than a good chance of getting it.

Invites for interview were sent out on the Friday - which is non working day for me so I didn't see it until the Monday morning, meaning I Iost a weekend of prep time. Interviews scheduled for the following Monday, so only a week's notice for me. We had to prepare a presentation for the interview (with no time scheduled during work to do so). This also happened to be the week of my mum's 1 year anniversary of her sudden death, and the week in which we buried her ashes. I see a therapist and the week before this she said she thought I was depressed - because I said I was struggling to get out of bed and do basic things like the washing up and laundry.

I worked hard to prepare a presentation. Long story short I didn't get the job - despite being told I had done a really good presentation. Because I 'didn't have enough examples on the behaviour and strength questions'. Despite having worked with these people closely for 5-10 years. They know I can solve a problem, they've seen me do it every week. Yes I could have had better answers. But last week was the worst week for me to have to prepare for this. I put the time and effort I had in me getting my presentation in good shape.

I'm absolutely devastated. I feel like crap and need advice about what to do next. Think I'll need to take some time off for mental health reasons, how do I go about this? I feel so angry. I'm not sure if they were allowed to do what they did with demoting me when returning from mat leave.

Im sorry its been so tough. Have a look at Pregnant then Screwed as I feel like there might be advice there

I’m sorry you didn’t get it, and think maybe you’re not thinking clearly.

it is perfectly acceptable to not wish your previous job done part time, as long as a business reason.
it is perfectly acceptable for them to give you the option of a lower role which can be part time, it is your choice which of the two you take. I suspect you know this, you can’t force your way into the job.

they gave the job to the best candidate, I’m sorry that wasn’t you and doing it five years ago doesn’t mean it is still you or you’re entitled to it.

id maybe take some holiday, lick your wounds, going off with stress as you didn’t get the job is quite extreme and doesn’t put you in a good light.

I dont see what they have done wrong?

Civil service interviews are hard, but they can only mark you on what you actually said during the interview, not what they know you’re capable of doing. It’s hard, many of us have been there. Dust yourself off and start looking at opportunities elsewhere.

Also re the demotion, they offered it to you as an option and you presumably agreed to it. Some jobs can’t he done part time, so its ok to say they need a full timer. They didn’t do anything wrong by offering you the option. Going off sick won’t help this situation. You need to think about next steps.

You haven’t done the job in 5 years, a lot can change in that period and the role might be completely different now, you’re essentially a new candidate in their eyes.

You got great feedback but someone else was better suited, that’s life.

Accept it and move on. If your mental health is that fragile, perhaps not getting a more demanding role is for the best.

Absolutely nothing you can do. Even if the demotion had been legally problematic, the limitation period for acts of discrimination is three months. So you have to start the claim process within that time. You’re five years out of time.

for what it’s worth on the basis of what you’ve said it’s quite possible it wasn’t legally problematic anyway.

It sounds like you are expecting them to prefer you because you had all these things in your life, but that’s not how the workplace works. Yes, I agree with your therapist, you might be depressed and unable to look at your life realistically. Perhaps s/he can help you find support.

The problem is, the interview process was the moment to demonstrate you met all of the criteria. Based on their feedback, this time, you did not.

I mean this with kindness but if you’re applying a for a job you’re well qualified for, a week is sufficient time to prepare the presentation. And you know it is, because you did it - despite all of the external pieces (which will exist in other people’s worlds in different forms too). At interview, someone conveyed their experience better than you did, or had more relevant experience. It sounds like you have a lot going on at the moment, and as a PP mentioned - perhaps a break or holiday would be a much needed reset. I’m not convinced taking time off as you suggest is the most productive way forward, but if you genuinely feel too stressed or too overwhelmed to continue working then of course you should. If it’s a knee jerk ‘revenge’ move then of course you shouldn’t.

She didn’t remotely get screwed. She is not entitled to do her previous job on part time hours, pregnancy and motherhood doesn’t mean you’re entitled to part time hours irrelvant of business need. She was offered the demoted role which could be done on part time hours, she could have declined and stayed full time in her more senior role. She chose not to.

she is also not entitled to the more senior job as she did it 6 years ago, and the justification of her mothers passing, and not seeing the advert as she was not working on Friday and missed a week of prep and a week was not enough for her to do so, doesn’t stand her capabilities in good light.

op, someone performed better, it’s hard and disappointing, but nothing wrong has been done here, maybe take some time off, not necessarily due to stress, it doesn’t cast you in a good light either, and try to accept it.

I disagree that they've given the job to the best candidate. The person who I think got it has no management experience, and I have repeatedly had worked chosen over their's by clients. They are entitled to chose who they want for the job. But I think the process was unfair.

Why is taking time off for mental health extreme? I'm still dealing with suddenly losing my mum last year, the anniversary being last week, having recently been through a divorce, and my therapist has said I'm depressed, and now the shock and embarrassment of not getting the job I was successfully doing before maternity leave. I haven't been able to sleep. I cannot work as much as I couldn't work if I had flu.

I left the civil service nearly 5yrs ago, I was in a well paying G7 job for 7yrs and moved around different departments. I wanted to change the type of job I was doing and got fed up of the silly, rigid behaviour led interview process which I didn’t feel really allowed the candidate to show off their experience.

I’m happily in consultancy now, get paid more (even accounting for the pension), exactly the same generous holiday allowance and do compressed hours and can wfh whenever I want (plus poor performance gets dealt with swiftly) - it’s just been way more family friendly.

I’m struggling to remember any benefits I felt to working in the civil service.

I know it’s not your question, but if you’re ready to up your hours and get your career back on track, look outside of the civil service, it’s not as scary as some people think.

Yabu I'm afraid re the interview ..you said yourself you didn't do it as well as you could have. They can only use the interview. Sounds like you not coping anyway so maybe a move to a more stressful job isn't right for you now. You do sound depressed. Book some leave, give yourself a break and come back fighting or apply for jobs elsewhere.

I don’t think they’ve done anything wrong here and it wasn’t unfair. You had a whole week to prepare, of course you wouldn’t be given time during work time to do it. You weren’t the best candidate this time. That don’t mean you weren’t good, just someone else was better. Going off sick now wouldn’t look great af ye r this.

I'm sorry you're disappointed OP, but this is all true, you weren't the best candidate on the day.

Regarding the prep, if you were interviewing for an external position, you wouldn't always have a week to prepare. Also, not looking out for the email because its not a working day for you is on you, really. I don't know whethercyou have access to emails outside of work, but if you do, it also shows low commitment.

I don’t see what Is wrong here, either.

i take it they sent out interview schedule on email. There’s nothing to stop you checking this on a non working day. Its your choice not to.

however hard it is for you, your mothers passing a year before isn’t relevant to any aspect of this story.

5 years is a LONG TIME ago. Things have moved on. You’re realistically not the best candidate for the job any more. That may have been a point of contention had you said you’d been in role one year ago.

You’ve done well in your role. But so have others. There’s a big world out there. The civil service has multiple roles. It’s time to start looking outwards I think

I have no advice but just to say, you must be exhausted OP, whatever you need to do to come back refreshed and feeling better you need to do. You’re doing amazing and your child will be so proud xx

You can take time off sick as with a physical illness, but when I’ve been disappointed and upset after (many!) unsuccessful interviews have found it passes and that normal work can be a distraction.

I don’t think you have grounds for complaint.

It sounds like the issue was your interview technique on the behaviours (STAR) questions, which we can work on. I find them difficult. There are some good free videos on YouTube.

The scoring system means that the questions are more important.

Agree that it’s a lot of work to prepare a presentation and for STAR stuff.

It would have been better for the hiring manager to have provided more notice before the interview but think that the notice was as per the notice required in the recruitment process.

Are you in a location with other opportunities?

I can see why it stings.
if you are depressed and struggling right now then take time off if you need to.
but I would be worried about how the timing looks, with it being just after this.

you know that this is how civil service interviews work - the person appointed will have have given better examples and scored more points.

its really unfortunate the interview came at a bad time for you and you weren’t able to give it your best because of that. But the recruiters could not have adjusted for that.

If you are so certain that the other candidate was markedly worse, and so aware that the managers know your own capacity in that role, what is your own narrative for why you didn't get the role? Why would you feel so certain that the management team of your organisation deliberately picked a candidate they knew to be poorer?

Sorry you’ve had such a tough time OP.

But usually, when an internal role comes up, the assessment is based solely on the interview. How well they know you is irrelevant - it’s the interview that matters.

Also, it was five years ago you did that job - a lot can change in five years, so it doesn’t make sense the job should be yours.

And a week is enough time to prepare for an interview.

You have a lot going on and are struggling, but you weren’t screwed over here.

I am sorry OP. It all sounds very hard for you, but from an outside perspective I don’t see that your employer has done much wrong.

It’s unfortunate that it fell on a bad week for you but that’s not their fault, and who knows what was going on for other candidates too? Slightly different but I’ve got to give a big presentation to all the Senior Management team at a day long meeting next week; the day before we’re moving house. The day before that I’m out at an unrelated work event for most of the day, the day before that is my non-working day. It’s hugely inconvenient and stressful for me but in not in any way my employers fault.

I don’t think going on leave will help but can you book a few days off maybe tagged on to Easter weekend and give yourself a breather?

Sorry, just to add, if this is how youre feeling at the moment, both in relstion to grief and rejection, they're making the right decision. You're not ready for the step-up. I say this as a widow who is currently coasting in an unfulfilling role. I know I don't have the all-round capacity to take on more right now while my DC are young.

What relevance do they have here at all? There has been no discrimination.

Sounds absolutely valid to take time off for your mental health and I’m sorry you are struggling. But all of your anger at your job situation is misplaced and maybe you will be able to reflect on this when you are feeling better. Maybe consider medication as well as therapy if you are not doing so already.