To think this was unfair, and to take time off for mental health.

[Dawnchorus1]

I work in the civil service, and after returning from mat leave was given the choice of returning to my current job full time or taking a demotion if I wanted to do 3 or 4 days.

I took the demotion. This was nearly 5 years ago. I've contributed fully and enthusiastically in my role and been successful in working on big projects and having my ideas taken forward consistently (we work in an environment where most projects have a few people creating initial ideas which the clients then chose from). This despite being managed by 'replacement', being a single parent to my son, having little family support and having lost my mum suddenly last year, and have been working very hard at keeping my shit together.

We've gone through a restructure recently which has been horrendous for most involved and taken it's toll (multiple applications to apply for our own jobs etc). I kept my job luckily. Then a position opened up for my previous role. My son being at school now I thought it would be a good time to get my career back on track - up my hours and resume previous role.

So put in application. Got interview. Knew others were going for it, but being the one who had actually done the job before thought I had more than a good chance of getting it.

Invites for interview were sent out on the Friday - which is non working day for me so I didn't see it until the Monday morning, meaning I Iost a weekend of prep time. Interviews scheduled for the following Monday, so only a week's notice for me. We had to prepare a presentation for the interview (with no time scheduled during work to do so). This also happened to be the week of my mum's 1 year anniversary of her sudden death, and the week in which we buried her ashes. I see a therapist and the week before this she said she thought I was depressed - because I said I was struggling to get out of bed and do basic things like the washing up and laundry.

I worked hard to prepare a presentation. Long story short I didn't get the job - despite being told I had done a really good presentation. Because I 'didn't have enough examples on the behaviour and strength questions'. Despite having worked with these people closely for 5-10 years. They know I can solve a problem, they've seen me do it every week. Yes I could have had better answers. But last week was the worst week for me to have to prepare for this. I put the time and effort I had in me getting my presentation in good shape.

I'm absolutely devastated. I feel like crap and need advice about what to do next. Think I'll need to take some time off for mental health reasons, how do I go about this? I feel so angry. I'm not sure if they were allowed to do what they did with demoting me when returning from mat leave.

Have examples lined up to the behaviours is sensible. Relying on AI to formulate personal statement is asking for trouble. It is not about "buzzwords" but demonstrating the behaviour better than other candidates. A decent panel will notice a mile off where there is insufficient substance.

HR advise and say things like ' you can't take into consideration the application form' and no one questions it. It's a mad system driven by people who have not done a specialised job. It doesn't work for that. You need to be able to consider length and depth of experience, whether or not that is clear from an interview.
Formerly application processes used to specify what was being assessed from interview, application or both. The candidates knew beforehand what they were supposed to present and when. For example full clean driving licence can be taken from the form. Experience of doing the actual job should be apparent on the CV but you'd also expect them to be able to talk about it. It's as if they stopped that because people actually knew what they were supposed to demonstrate.

I know you're disappointed, OP, but there is something really "off" about your attitude. You sound so resentful and petulant. That would really put me off appointing someone to a more senior role, if I'm honest - and you might find that you are not able to hide it as well as you think.

Amazed that the OP is still whinging about this.

OP, I've just reread your posts. Your department (agency?) sounds far removed from the CS that I know with its people-centred recruitment practices. It sounds like a niche organisation that's going rogue, and your team is being very badly managed. Just the fact that they wouldn't let you go part time feels out of kilter - we have directors who job share, FFS. It just takes planning and creativity to figure out the details sometimes.
You have two options, as I see it.

1. Go to your union and see what your right of appeal is. Talk to them about the demotion too. It's part of the overall picture.
2. Look for jobs elsewhere, either in CS or outside. You'll have loads of transferable skills so it may be down to whether the CS can offer a creative role like your current role, or if you're happy for a change of direction.

I think you have every right to be absolutely furious over this. Not about the interview in isolation - you already know you didn't do your best there. But about the overall management of your team and the culture that is driven by the senior managers.

Thank you, this is spot on. Don't want to say too much as to identify the team, but they have been making huge loses for years now, and have just decided to remove several junior posts and at the same keep all the managers and give several of them promotions. No one in the management team has taken accountability for the bad management or financial (and staff) loses. It is being propped up with public money. Part of the issue is that it's being run like an agency/business, but without normal market forces, it would have gone under ages ago if in the private sector. Anyway I'm going to just get on with my job, smile and be a good employee while not going above and beyond anymore, and just try and escape as unscathed as possible when it does all finally go under!

But they do need to announce who’s in what team so everyone knows the structure/heirachy

Everyone knows the hierarchy. 4 managers and the team then split underneath between them. Announcing who got the promotion, and how they're going to split the teams are two separate things. No need to announce the teams till we were all in (or let us on NWDs know the day before)

I think you’re just bitter and finding things to pick at because you didn’t get the job!

Whats wrong with announcing a promotion? It’s something for that person to be proud of and colleagues to perhaps recognise the achievement

You can't just go on sick leave because you're having a mardy lol. Obv if you genuinely feel unable to work then that's different but it sounds like a bit of a tantrum.

I do think all the STAR stuff is often a load of bollocks though tbh. I know the CS bend over backwards to be 'unbiased' but it's silly when you potentially have to award the job to somebody over another who you objectively know can do it better.

It favours those that are good at talking the talk. I have a male friend who is a great bullshitter but honestly a bit lazy. He hops around BD jobs and does pretty well from it tbf. It works in his favour that people in his sector move around a lot and that a lot of high flyers have a 'three years and move on' mentality.

He talks it up in meetings, puts a fair effort in at the start, then starts taking the piss after a bit, then moves on. In the construction/heavy plant sector (where I work) they'll always give it to the person they know can do the job.

Sounds so shitty and I'm sorry you didn't get the job. It doesn't sound like it's a reflection on you, more on the ridiculous process. It's awful that you had to take a demotion to work part time. It's absolutely horrendous they haven't given you your job that you did well pre mat leave. Although I'm sure they are within their legal rights, morally it is all wrong! How are working mothers ever supposed to achieve when they make it so hard?

Let's say a important white male had to go part time because his wife died. Would his company force a demotion?Now let's say he wants to go back full time as his children have grown up and he wants more responsibility again. In no world can I imagine he'd be turned down when returning to a senior role, and I doubt they'd demote him for working 4 days to begin with.

Absolutely. I doubt he'd get people saying 'well it was your choice to go part time'.

It's rather odd that you can only conceive of a man going part time after his wife had died. Surely a more direct comparison to the OP would simply be a man who wanted to go part time to be able to spend more time with his children, or perhaps a man wanting to reduce his hours after taking shared parental leave. Women don't have to be the default carers and you don't need to to randomly introduce the death of a wife to make a flexible working request from a man conceivable.

I would hope that most employers would exercise as much flexibility as possible in the event of any employee experiencing the loss of a life partner and being left with sole responsibility for their bereaved children, and that most of their colleagues would actively want to step up and help in that situation. But responding to a major loss like that isn't comparable to making lifestyle choices about how to raise your children, and employers wouldn't regard the two situations as being remotely comparable.

As to whether a man would automatically get a flexible working request approved simply in order to spend more time with his children - no, not necessarily, because it depends on the needs of the business. And if a man chose to take a demotion in order to do more childcare, then no, I genuinely don't think it's a given that he could return to a more senior full time role at the drop of a hat whenever he fancied it, and I find it bizarre that you think this would be a given.

Giving an example doesn't mean it's the only example someone can conceive of.
How is that not obvious?

I see it quite often on here that people are affronted by ending up with their maternity cover or somebody they recruited ending up as their manager, but if they were putting in the hours in the years you were absent from the role then maybe they've earned it. You don't get a placemarker for previous job roles unfortunately.

But if someone is able to conceive of a more apt and relevant comparison, why wouldn't they just use that? What is the point of bringing the loss of a spouse into the equation when that would obviously change the dynamics of the situation and render the comparison irrelevant?

The thing is if no one decided to be 'absent' to have a child, the human race would quickly disappear. I think it's in the best interests of everyone that we do all we can to help parents manage a work life balance. And I don't think the choice should be work full time as soon as your child turns one, or take a huge and lasting knock to your career. Parents getting penalised for having and looking after babies, and workforces missing out on their experience with them sidelined into junior roles.

My DP went part time when his DC were small as exw wanted her career. Many men go part time for child care