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Should I ask my DS and his girlfriend for money

733 replies

DiaryofWimpy · 17/03/2026 19:43

My DS2 has moved his girlfriend in with her 2 cats.

Obviously it’s another person using the washing machine,,TV, gas and electricity they are both 22 and don’t work but get benefits.

Do you think I’m being unreasonable asking them for money?

OP posts:
LilyBunch25 · 20/03/2026 10:36

MyLimePoet · 20/03/2026 10:32

Right. So 27 pages into this thread you've not worked out that Pip ADP and lcwra are disability benefits?

Of course they have LimePoet. They're just looking to bait.

LilyBunch25 · 20/03/2026 10:37

Happinessistheanswer · 20/03/2026 10:01

ADHD, PIP, UC, LCWRA and so on.

As far as I am aware workers such as lawyers, surgeons, accountants are not defined by Alphabet abbreviations.

Really? No doctor is an MD? No accountant has their professional abbreviated qualifications after their name? Did you think that one through?

Happinessistheanswer · 20/03/2026 10:39

MyLimePoet · 20/03/2026 10:32

Right. So 27 pages into this thread you've not worked out that Pip ADP and lcwra are disability benefits?

I have heard of PIP ( it is in the news constantly).

When you go to the doctor do they add an alphabet term to your medical history. Does it apply to children and pensioners? If they give you an abbreviation do they tell you or could you be labelled without even knowing?

Happinessistheanswer · 20/03/2026 10:40

LilyBunch25 · 20/03/2026 10:37

Really? No doctor is an MD? No accountant has their professional abbreviated qualifications after their name? Did you think that one through?

Mumsnet is a minefield of abbreviations.

LilyBunch25 · 20/03/2026 10:41

Happinessistheanswer · 20/03/2026 10:39

I have heard of PIP ( it is in the news constantly).

When you go to the doctor do they add an alphabet term to your medical history. Does it apply to children and pensioners? If they give you an abbreviation do they tell you or could you be labelled without even knowing?

Answer my question about professional qualification abbreviations. You know, that catastrophic own goal you scored whilst too busy rubbing your hands with glee to jump in without thinking the comment through first.

LilyBunch25 · 20/03/2026 10:42

Happinessistheanswer · 20/03/2026 10:40

Mumsnet is a minefield of abbreviations.

There's probably one for you too if you think about it hard enough.

MyLimePoet · 20/03/2026 10:42

Happinessistheanswer · 20/03/2026 10:39

I have heard of PIP ( it is in the news constantly).

When you go to the doctor do they add an alphabet term to your medical history. Does it apply to children and pensioners? If they give you an abbreviation do they tell you or could you be labelled without even knowing?

No.

Happinessistheanswer · 20/03/2026 10:46

LilyBunch25 · 20/03/2026 10:41

Answer my question about professional qualification abbreviations. You know, that catastrophic own goal you scored whilst too busy rubbing your hands with glee to jump in without thinking the comment through first.

Yes MD exists. Here is another CEO. I haven't seen those abbreviations on this thread. If I missed it, i apologise. please point me to the page.

LilyBunch25 · 20/03/2026 10:48

Happinessistheanswer · 20/03/2026 10:46

Yes MD exists. Here is another CEO. I haven't seen those abbreviations on this thread. If I missed it, i apologise. please point me to the page.

Don't be so obtuse.

Happinessistheanswer · 20/03/2026 10:50

LilyBunch25 · 20/03/2026 10:42

There's probably one for you too if you think about it hard enough.

That would be guesswork though. Clear communication is imperative, please enlighten me?

LilyBunch25 · 20/03/2026 10:53

Happinessistheanswer · 20/03/2026 10:50

That would be guesswork though. Clear communication is imperative, please enlighten me?

I don't think it would require much guesswork 😂 you're the superior intelligent being on this thread. You can come up with a suitable one, I have every confidence in you. Go nuts 👍👍

Happinessistheanswer · 20/03/2026 10:56

I have done as you suggested. I have an alphabet name. TTT ( telling the truth).

Pickledonion1999 · 20/03/2026 10:58

Happinessistheanswer · 20/03/2026 10:39

I have heard of PIP ( it is in the news constantly).

When you go to the doctor do they add an alphabet term to your medical history. Does it apply to children and pensioners? If they give you an abbreviation do they tell you or could you be labelled without even knowing?

Pensioners get PC ( pension credit ) , AA ( Attendance Allowance), SDP ( severe disability premium ),, it's a whole different alphabet for pensioners ! However to complicate things for pensioners some very old ones are still on DLA and some younger ones on PIP. The benefits world is complex !

Happinessistheanswer · 20/03/2026 11:02

Pickledonion1999 · 20/03/2026 10:58

Pensioners get PC ( pension credit ) , AA ( Attendance Allowance), SDP ( severe disability premium ),, it's a whole different alphabet for pensioners ! However to complicate things for pensioners some very old ones are still on DLA and some younger ones on PIP. The benefits world is complex !

Edited

Pensioners don't get them by automatic default though.

Pickledonion1999 · 20/03/2026 11:03

Happinessistheanswer · 20/03/2026 11:02

Pensioners don't get them by automatic default though.

Neither do working age people.

FlyingCatGirl · 20/03/2026 11:11

MyLimePoet · 20/03/2026 08:17

With respect. It's not up to you to tell the OP that the gf has to rehome the cats. I live below the poverty line. Plenty of people do - and I have cats. The fact that your cat needed surgery because they got hit by a car has nothing to do with this thread. The OP asked a question - instead she's been treated to multiple lectures.

Rescues are currently full to capacity and someone could wait 6 months to a year to get a pet rehomed

You are quick to have a pop at me and then complain about cat rescues being full to busting but then you fully support the cause of the problem! Why are you not grasping the reason I mentioned about my cats surgery? Im stating that things suddenly happen! People who are skint never have pet insurance! What would you do if you had to suddenly pay thousands to a vet tomorrow? Do you see how correct I am now to raise it? The OPs household is all living on benefits! None of them could pay a vet bill! You are prioritising you are only care about you want and not what's best for the cats! You can't help them if they get sick or injured and that should concern you! If I had a quid for every person that posted on our local cat rescue Facebook pages oh I've accidentally let my female cat out and I didn't have enough money to neuter her!

LilyBunch25 · 20/03/2026 11:12

Happinessistheanswer · 20/03/2026 10:56

I have done as you suggested. I have an alphabet name. TTT ( telling the truth).

Good initial effort. Doesn't quite meet the requirement though.

XenoBitch · 20/03/2026 11:22

Happinessistheanswer · 20/03/2026 10:01

ADHD, PIP, UC, LCWRA and so on.

As far as I am aware workers such as lawyers, surgeons, accountants are not defined by Alphabet abbreviations.

If we are playing this game, then those professions have lots of letters after their name too. For example, a GP at my surgery has MB BCh, MRCGP after their name.

But you just want to put the boot in to OP.

Also, UC is 6 different benefits. Some people work and get it. Some people are carers are get it.

LilyBunch25 · 20/03/2026 11:27

XenoBitch · 20/03/2026 11:22

If we are playing this game, then those professions have lots of letters after their name too. For example, a GP at my surgery has MB BCh, MRCGP after their name.

But you just want to put the boot in to OP.

Also, UC is 6 different benefits. Some people work and get it. Some people are carers are get it.

Edited

Tried pointing this out but this is, quite literally, just a game to that poster.

MyLimePoet · 20/03/2026 11:32

FlyingCatGirl · 20/03/2026 11:11

You are quick to have a pop at me and then complain about cat rescues being full to busting but then you fully support the cause of the problem! Why are you not grasping the reason I mentioned about my cats surgery? Im stating that things suddenly happen! People who are skint never have pet insurance! What would you do if you had to suddenly pay thousands to a vet tomorrow? Do you see how correct I am now to raise it? The OPs household is all living on benefits! None of them could pay a vet bill! You are prioritising you are only care about you want and not what's best for the cats! You can't help them if they get sick or injured and that should concern you! If I had a quid for every person that posted on our local cat rescue Facebook pages oh I've accidentally let my female cat out and I didn't have enough money to neuter her!

That's odd. You seem to think that I don't have the funds to pay a vet bill? That's odd. Three of my cats have died in the last 5 years. One from old age. He was 17. One from cancer. He was 14. One died last March. She was 19.

Did you miss the part where I said that my flat had to be sold in 2020 because it was being demolished - I got peanuts for it but I had enough money not to be on benefits for a couple of years - do you think that I wouldn't put money aside for vet bills for my pets?

Every cat that I rescued - I did so when I was in work. I just didn't give them away when my situation changed.

People can't have it all ways. Half the thread is going on about how much money this couple have - now they aren't supposed to have pets.

All my cats are neutered. I fully support the cause of the problem. No I do not. My cats are indoor cats and they are all neutered /spayed

As for your poor people never have insurance comments - also wrong.

You think I'm selfish for having cats when I live below the poverty line? Am I suppose to give away my 20 year old rescue cat who I have had since he was 18 months because someone on an Internet forum thinks that people on low incomes shouldn't have pets?

As I said. Rescues are full to bursting. I rescued my last two cats 9 years ago because the baby of the house was allergic and the girl tried to find a rescue space and couldn't - and was going to put them on Gumtree (where anything could have happened to them).

I very much have helped my pets when they've been sick. Im not an irresponsible pet owner. You've actually posted that I only care about me and nots what's best for my cats. I took a stray in 19 years ago. Neither chipped nor neutered. He had 9 years with me. He wouldn't have survived on the streets much longer.

You know nothing about me or my pets. You've just made assumptions - because I'm on benefits.

Happinessistheanswer · 20/03/2026 11:32

Aside from the rights and wrongs of benefits, the alpha abbreviations are over complicating things.

A streamlined, clear and efficient system is definitely needed

XenoBitch · 20/03/2026 11:40

Happinessistheanswer · 20/03/2026 11:32

Aside from the rights and wrongs of benefits, the alpha abbreviations are over complicating things.

A streamlined, clear and efficient system is definitely needed

Edited

Universal Credit was brought in the be a more streamlined system. It replaced 6 benefits.

Happinessistheanswer · 20/03/2026 11:46

XenoBitch · 20/03/2026 11:40

Universal Credit was brought in the be a more streamlined system. It replaced 6 benefits.

Wow! I thought Universal credit was not health related.

MyLimePoet · 20/03/2026 11:47

Go try and rehome a pet just now through a pet charity - you'd get nowhere. My entire point is that I am not going to be one of these pet owners who give my cat away on Facebook - or Gumtree. To potentially fall into the wrong hands and be used as bait.

My mum rescued a cat around a year ago. The cat wasn't at risk. He just wasn't getting on with the other cat in the house. The girl tried to re home him and had to resort to Facebook. She was worried about complete strangers having him (my mum isn't a stranger).

Absolutely not a chance would I be rehoming my 20 year old boy - who is bonded to me - just because someone else doesn't think I have the money to look after him. I do.

I have also never used the PDSA but they provide lower cost vet care to people on benefits.

People living below the line need to explain their entire life choices to just about everyone it seems.

BTW I had a job offer just before the accident that I couldn't obviously take up. I'm not planning to be on UC indefinitely.

XenoBitch · 20/03/2026 11:55

Happinessistheanswer · 20/03/2026 11:46

Wow! I thought Universal credit was not health related.

Only one element of UC is health related. It replaced

  • Housing Benefit
  • income-related Employment and Support Allowance (ESA)
  • income-based Jobseeker's Allowance (JSA)
  • Child Tax Credit
  • Working Tax Credit
  • Income Support

DLA/PIP/ADP are nothing to do with UC.