Should I ask my DS and his girlfriend for money

[DiaryofWimpy]

My DS2 has moved his girlfriend in with her 2 cats.

Obviously it’s another person using the washing machine,,TV, gas and electricity they are both 22 and don’t work but get benefits.

Do you think I’m being unreasonable asking them for money?

@MyLimePoet thanks for clarifying the housing element, it's been a long time since I had anything to do with that part of the benefits system.
£320 a month obviously should cover something (the op has said her son has offered £50 a week) as op has said she claims ADP rather than PIP I'm assuming she's in Scotland so not sure how much her son can claim.

Yeah she is in Scotland. She's not clarified what benefit her son is on (her business really). Just that he gets more than the gf

Absolutely make them both contribute fairly. As you're in receipt of benefits it's going to be lowered when they both change their address to your home address on their claims. As they're both over 21 you'll get two non dependent deductions on your benefits so you'll lose a significant amount of your own benefits purely for allowing them to live under your roof. They sound quite entitled from what I saw of your reply regarding them sulking over you asking them to pay to live in your home. Plus your council tax bill will go up as you'll lose your single adult discount too. Is his relationship quite new as it sounds like she's moved with him after recently leaving a previous abusive relationship, she's probably using him hoping for a free place to stay

She can apply for housing benefit to live with you perhaps and pay you that

It is Universal credit and no she can't claim when she is a lodger in someone's home.

To be fair the OP already stated in a reply when she broached the subject of paying to live there they initially responded negatively about it and showed a reluctance to pay anything. They told her she has money as she's just had a new mobile phone. So clearly they initially wanted to move in and not pay anything

Yes, you should. 3 adults in one property... you get your rent paid that and will be the same regardless of who else lives there. So work out the proportion of what each person can pay towards to the rest of everything else. ADP/PIP should not count, as that is for the costs related to disability and not bills (unless the bills are extra due to extra washing of bedding etc).

I hope your DS has declared a change of circumstances to the DWP, as he is now living with his GF and that will affect his benefits.

Just be careful. It will be good to know what their long term plans are. I had a friend whose son (who was on UC... he is unfit to work) moved his street homeless ex in. She refuses to engage with the Job Centre so pays nothing towards bills etc. My friend is a pensioner and had had to get a job to afford everything. This started a few years ago and nothing has changed.

I have read the thread, and can't believe some of the shite on here. I know a few people with bipolar. The ones that do work are very much valued and their employer has bent over backwards to keep them happy, healthy, and employed.
If you are in a NMW job, you are just a number and they don't care.
You have bipolar, and your DS is at an age where if he has inherited it, it might start showing. Anxiety could be the start, and I assume you know that it can take years to get a proper diagnosis.

She can't add a housing element for paying board to her boyfriends mum. Housing element on UC is only paid if she has a proper tenancy agreement

The son was already living with her. He's not just moved in

Then to be honest her son should've already been paying her something to live there. He gets his own money. Not sure why he finds it ok to live with his mum rent free then have the cheek to expect his mum to accommodate his latest girlfriend for nothing too

Well maybe yes but this is part of the problem. You don't get enough info on things.

Won’t they have to make a joint claim now if they are living together as a couple? So it would just be one payment from them?

OP .this is always a controversial topic but when my DS started working he was earning more than me with almost no outgoings...phone. car. gym. At some point I thought I can't do this anymore so I sat him down, ran him through all my outgoings for the house and said he needed to contribute. He was more than happy too
Yes I would have loved to have saved up all the money to give him back when he moved out but I'm not that well off!
He then moved away for a year and came back for a week...which turned into a year. So again he paid. I told him if you can find somewhere where you get a home, WiFi, electric and gas and food for £50 a week...to let me know and I would go and live there!

That's brilliant OP! What you might want to also do is talk to the benefits office about your son and his girlfriend and make it clear that they are fuelling each other into sitting at home on benefits when they are fully capable of working, like someone else said, you have to get careful about them committing benefit fraud under your roof. Get the benefits to realise that they are living together and encouraging each other not to work and it needs nipping in the bud! You don't want her starting to pop kids out and making you run around after them when you are trying to improve your life. Don't give them the platform to be multigenerational benefit claimants who breed like rabbits and teach them kids that life is for being on benefits!

Also re-home the cats because cats cost money! I adore my cats but my girl cost the insurance company over 2k when she needed surgery after being hit by a car, cats get faddy and may need expensive meat eventually, I have to have hypoallergenic kibble because my boy gets skin allergies to cheap cat crunchy. There's monthly flea treatments because the fleas are hell to combat these days. You need a salary to have a cat, let alone 2 cats! She cannot afford to have those cats because she'll expect you to pick up the tab if they get sick or hurt.
Don't let these two be thorns in your side that hinder you! How can they sit day after day doing nothing! I don't get it! Do they plan to slob in front of the TV for the next 70 plus years?

My exboss has bipolar, ran a business, employed 5 staff, and at one point managed to look after terminally ill partner. Didn't stop them working.

With respect. It's not up to you to tell the OP that the gf has to rehome the cats. I live below the poverty line. Plenty of people do - and I have cats. The fact that your cat needed surgery because they got hit by a car has nothing to do with this thread. The OP asked a question - instead she's been treated to multiple lectures.

Rescues are currently full to capacity and someone could wait 6 months to a year to get a pet rehomed

Do you think that's helpful to the OP?

Likely no need to work either when UC with health component and ADP on top can total in excess of 1k a month. It's not a lot less than most young people would earn for grafting a 40 hour week. This is why the system is changing from April and requires more drastic changes.

There are different levels to ADP. Not everyone will be on the highest.

No one of working age can claim HB any more unless they are in specified accommodation (refuge, supported) UC housing element is the only option and in this scenario there is no entitlement to it.

Have you read any of the other personal comments made to the OP or the comment from the mods to keep things civil?

Evidently not.

Even with standard daily living only plus basic UC + LCWRA it is over 1k per month.

The OP didn't say that her son was on lcwra and adp and Uc. She's not specified