To ask you to help with a cover story for my Jewish child

[Aislyn]

My eldest is at secondary school and has suffered horrific racist bullying due to being identifiably Jewish. She never told anyone, but they guessed due to her appearance, and her saying Eastern European countries when asked 'where are you from?'

Unfortunately the school has been completely unhelpful, and refused to tackle this.

My second child is starting at second and has sen. They are at even higher risk of bullying. They have an appearance that would mean that they could be identified as Jewish, especially when citing Eastern European countries in response to the above question. Can anyone think of a cover story for my child?

(Yes, I have tried to get them a place at a Jewish school, but there is none available)

neither dcoes most of London.

No, it's not reliable, but some do look, like my kids, 'obviously' Jewish. In their case, dark curly hair, olivey skin. This together with naming an Eastern European country is a giveaway.

Shocking that you or anyone has to consider this as a safeguarding measure to protect their children.

It is really heart breaking that you need a cover up story for children! And that the school is not being helpful.
You need to keep reporting any issues to the school, by email or letter, and take it up if they do not sort it. It is their duty OP. Ask for a meeting with the Headteacher.
For the reply to "where are you from?", just say the country. If they ask any further about skin or hair, which is unlikely, as we are all a mixture of colours in Europe, just say you got some middle east background, long lost down your family live in said country.

But... they should be able to say the truth and it is the school and your local community who needs to work on this and get it sorted. Your children will be traumatised and grow up learning to hide themselves. And the other children will not learn to fight racism and to take people as they are, rather than place of origin and skin colour. Please, please, take it up till someone listens. Your local MP will surely help.

I'm wondering if they suspect she is Jewish because of something else she's given away - something cultural, perhaps - and the bullies are taunting her.
Either way, please push the school to meet the requirements for protecting those in their care

OP I am really shocked and sorry that your DC has been a victim of such horrible racism, and I am also shocked that the school has done so little about it.

I would suggest some of the avenues PPs have suggested but maybe you have reported the issue to all of them?

This tho – not ethnically British. What on earth does that mean? What is ethnically British? I know loads of people who are British from all kinds of ethnicities. I really think that saying that is just not OK. I am not aware of any ethnicity that makes it impossible to be British.

They would typically answer with the country their family originates from. I know this from experience.

So you need to keep fighting the school, until you can take DD out. Maybe contact the police.

And at the same time build up both your DC confidence so that they feel able to make their own groups of friends and stand up to the bullies.

Teaching them to lie about their heritage will be nothing but damaging.

You need to contact the governors of the school. Is it an academy or a local authority school? Academies tend to be a bit of a law unto themselves but still have to deal with racism.

I don't know what stereotypically Eastern European Jewish looks like and how on earth do teens know what they look like? Even if they've been brought up with pictures of Anne Frank, she was (Western) German!

Only racists think that someone non caucasian doesn't "look British" - there are plenty of people whose ancestors were from Pakistan or Hong Kong or Africa who will happily say "London" if they are asked where they are from. Four of my eight great grandparents fled various areas of Greater Russia (that are now become various eastern earopean countries since the fall of the USSR) over 100 years ago at the time of the Pogroms and my skin tone and features are a little different from a typical Anglo-Saxon but that doesn't stop me from being British. There are loads of people from Eastern European countries in the UK who are Christian or Muslim or Atheist too - it's a non-sequitur to think that having Easter European physiology will make someone a target for antisemitism.

I don't think you should teach your daughter to lie about herself. I read a biography of one of the people who came to the UK on one of the Kindertransport trains just before WW2 who spent his whole life hiding the fact that he was Jewish and it was seriously harmful to do that. A child who is taught to lie learns to feel that the truth is shameful.

She doesn't need to tell the whole truth.
"Well my DNA is from all over the place, but I am just British"
"I think my grandparents came from somewhere in Europe but I'm a Londoner. Even the Anglo-saxons were immigrants initially"

Don't teach your children to lie and be ashamed of their origins.
Get together with others and stand up against antisemitism.

My husband is French and pf Jewish heritage. He has travelled a lot and has been assumed to be a local in Greece, Turkey, Iran, Egypt and Syria, if that helps. I’m sorry you are experiencing this. We are in France and the children have a last name which is now often perceived here as Jewish (even though ironically my husband’s family actually used it in the war to conceal their Jewishness, as it descended from a non-Jewish ancestor). But there are quite a lot of Jewish families where we live and afaik none of the children have experienced any anti-Semitism.

Sorry now but I couldn't pick out thay someone is Jewish if 100 Jewish people were stood in front of me, dont be ridiculous.

If your kids are answering where their parents are from when they are being asked where they are from thats even more ridiculous.

If a kid round here gets asked where they are from they usually say, oh I live in Park Estate or Parktown.

Just tell them answer the town they are from and stop being such a wet lettuce.

If this is a school the only option is to take your crying child in to see the teacher and ask them what they’re going to do about it
or remove them

I think your concern about naming the country gives more credit to British teenagers than they warrant. I have no idea why you expect them to know that there's two and two to put together. I doubt many British adults would, frankly.

(Basically, I don't know what country you're on about, despite my own family heritage)

I'm not buying it.
There is more going on here than the bullies just guessing in this way from appearance and country of origin.

As @EmpressOfTheThread says, they must have got clues from something else, or been told by DC or someone.

Sorry you are going through this OP - it sounds incredibly difficult.

I must say the lack of empathy on this thread from a few people somehow doesn't surprise me at all. There's a fair amount of disingenuous wilful misunderstanding too. 'Oh what's British look like' 'why are they bothered by heritage'. Come off it, all of you being so cute. You know kids are interested in heritage especially in a multi cultural/ethnic society. You know that since October 7th the hate against Jewish people has been astounding. And yet you reply to the OP with doubt and cute remarks. And zero empathy or useful suggestions.

I wish I had some useful suggestions for you OP. Surround your children with people who care, def contact CST.

Jeepers I've curly hair and a massive nose and im as Irish as a potato. I thought these were smear tropes to use against Jewish people no?

Yes. We had this when a student had been seen wearing a necklace with a Hebrew letter on it. She stopped wearing it, but a group decided to be offensive about it. They were dealt with, rapidly.

Oh and for the doubters who are not buying 'looking jewish'.

I got locked in a taxi by a driver who wanted to know my heritage. I wouldn't answer. He pressed me throughout the journey and became cross when I would not confirm if I was jewish or not. He wasn't pleased thatvI might be jewish. I reported the incident. Nothing came of it.

Scary. And yes this did happen.

Exactly. London is so diverse! I couldn't tell you what a Londoner typically looks like!

Very scary, what a shocking incident. It must make you scared to go out.

"Well my DNA is from all over the place, but I am just British"

I like that. And if she's not British, insert Polish/whatever.

That was a presumably older taxi driver though.

We are talking about young teens. All I can think is the OP lives in an area where the MP is one of independents who was voted in on a Gaza ticket and the kids are brainwashed at home.

🤷🏻‍♀️ - people can guess I’m Jewish BUT they normally first think I’m ME (which is what I am anyway for all terms and purposes).