To ask you to help with a cover story for my Jewish child

[Aislyn]

My eldest is at secondary school and has suffered horrific racist bullying due to being identifiably Jewish. She never told anyone, but they guessed due to her appearance, and her saying Eastern European countries when asked 'where are you from?'

Unfortunately the school has been completely unhelpful, and refused to tackle this.

My second child is starting at second and has sen. They are at even higher risk of bullying. They have an appearance that would mean that they could be identified as Jewish, especially when citing Eastern European countries in response to the above question. Can anyone think of a cover story for my child?

(Yes, I have tried to get them a place at a Jewish school, but there is none available)

What does a British person look like?

If there is racist hate speech, I’d talk to the police. Might put a rocket up the school if nothing else.

I'd complaint to school
not do this nonsense

I’d go with “none of your f-ing business”

I’m sorry your children are being racially abused. When this happened to my son, school were all over it immediately. Have you escalated the issue to the school governors?

Genuine question because I don’t know many Jewish people apart from a few work colleagues, what makes them identifiably Jewish? I’ve never looked at my colleagues and thought there is anything that makes them stand out so I’m curious.

Not true. British can mean any colour or creed. The people asking are the problem.

I am so sorry this is happening to you and your dc. The Jew hate in this country at the moment is repugnant.

I'm so sorry that your dc has experienced this, OP. I don't have any advice for you, I'm afraid, but I'm outraged on your behalf that your older child's school has done nothing to respond to your concerns. Can you ask your local MP to intervene?

People live in Britain from all over the world and they are British, unless they have a strong accent nobody will question it. If they are pushed say they have a Greek grandad of something. I’ve got friends with all kinds of ethnicities and nobody bats an eyelid, not these days. Perhaps I just live in more multicultural and liberal places

You shouldn't need a cover story. The school should be coming down on this like a ton of bricks. What are they actually doing?

Me too. What makes a person look specifically Jewish, rather than just vaguely Mediterranean?

"London" is not acceptable as an answer, as they don't look British"

What does a British person look like!? I don't know ......

The school need to be all over this. Most schools now have an ethic mix and come down hard on this. Get stuck in there - quote their safeguarding policy, speak to relevant governor. I would not let this lie. Give them hell - they cannot ignore racist bullying.

I am very anti segregated schools based on ethnicity or religion. That is not the way to have an integrated society. All schools need to make sure every child is safe and if they are not doing so they need to be taken to task.

No child should have to be ashamed of who they are and make stuff up to cover this up.

Normally, big nose, curly hair (tends to be darker) , and sometimes olive skin.

However, within my congregation they do come in all colours of the rainbow. My BFF is a redhead with blue eyes. There’s a couple with olive skin and straight dark hair.

A significant number of people in London are not British born & do not look British (whatever that might be).

I'm a traveller. I didn't admit this in secondary school, as I'd had a lot of problems in a primary school over it.

I didn't sound like a stereotypical traveller in accent by then and we were settled with my mum educated and in a professional job, so it was easy enough to avoid. I just said the city we lived in and stuck with it, I'd been born there after all, even if we hadn't stayed there very long until we settled... Whenever asked where my family were from, I said the same city for all my family. Didn't invite people home and didn't show photos of my childhood. Could your DC say the same? Just London. All from London for so long they don't actually know and nor does the family.

I'm sorry you all find yourselves in this situation. It's a horrible thing for you all to be considering. My best wishes to your family.

Op, were you kids born in the UK? As you're not answering I'm leaning towards that they were?

Just repeat: London, I was born here. My parents /grandparents were originally from "whatever country sounds plausible for their appearance. " Maybe Greece?

I’m just so sorry this is even a thing for your children, it’s horrible. Says a lot about how racism towards Jews has become so normalised. It’s disgusting.

I’m so sorry this has happened to your child/ children and is happening to you all OP. This should have no place in a decent society.

”London” should absolutely be an answer to the question “where are you from”. But London children in my experience usually know this is an offensive question! Most of my son’s school are not white, and no one would dream of asking anyone this.

If they actually do want to invent a county to be from (and I can’t believe I’m even typing this) the obvious answers are Italy, Greece, Malta. Malta might be the best as UK people don’t know a lot about it, or a small island off Malta called Gozo (my best friend at secondary was from Malta/ Gozo).

I am Italian by heritage and many, many people think I’m Jewish, so the reverse should also be true.

But I really hope for your sake your second child doesn’t come across this utterly unacceptable behaviour, and the grotesque failure to act by the school.

Just say what the country is called now. How many British kids are going to be au fait with eastern European history?

My Polish family live in a part of the country that changed hands several times, including during my father in law's life. We've never said anything other than that the family is from Poland.

Saying that your children come from 'Eastern European countries' will have immediately made people curious. If you'd just picked the country that the region is in now, no-one would have cared to show any more interest.

Yes, that's my question. They are seriously at fault here.

Where they are from - eg London or Launceston or Liverpool or Lincoln. The "no, where are you really from" is racist. The school should be dealing with that i exactly the same way that they would of someone of Black or Asian heritage.

I wouldn't know someone was Jewish unless they told me (assuming they aren't very Orthodox). Nowadays I'd recognise a Jewish surname but I wouldn't have known at school.

So sorry your children are going through this - it’s awful and incredibly shocking that the school aren’t taking it seriously

Loads of people don’t look British but they are British. You’re making this harder than it needs to be.

Not accepting "London" as a good enough answer is bullying and the school should stamp on it hard. It's not the other kids' business where anyone or their family comes from.

So basically Jewish people can look like anything?
But if someone has dark wavy/curly hair, "tanned" skin and a large nose, they might be Jewish, but equally they might not?

So identifying Jews by appearance is not actually a reliable thing?