to be getting irate at friends with adult DC who do not work?

[goldenteapot]

My DC are in their mid-late 20s and all in work - but are the exception among family and friends. They have around 12 cousins - none of whom have ever worked in so much as a local pub or shop, and all live in their parents' naice houses gaming all day. Lots have one or two degrees, so are not stupid by any means! I think statistically about 50% of young adults of this age that are not working - but among my family and friends it's very much higher.

It's a similar story with friends: every adult child is depressed or anxious and/or autistic so cannot work. The assumption seems to be that the jobs market is too difficult and their children can't cope. Conversation when we meet is all about how frustrated everyone is because they can't get their DC to work or do anything around the house.

I just want to shake them all! They are providing no tough love or reasons that these children will ever work and live independently.

AIBU to be losing my patience with everyone, or am I a bit of a bitch and working life really is too tough these days for young people?

Just to note I graduated in 2009 and lived in London - it most certainly is possible to take those chances and start with a shitty job. I have noticed that the generation below are very reluctant to house share and flat share aswell, which severely limits opportunities. As an example, my niece refused to live in a house share beyond the first year of her degree. Expectations just seem to be so much higher, with more of a focus on instant rather than delayed gratification.

Yes, this is what I thought too. It would help with job hunting and learning more skills too.

"AIBU to be losing my patience with everyone, or am I a bit of a bitch and working life really is too tough these days for young people?"

YANBU OP.

It makes me mad that I am working hard running a business, with all the challenges that entails, so I can pay tax to keep idle healthy kids who can't be bothered to get off their backsides and get a job.
The rise in NI contributions for employers are crippling, thanks to Ms Reeves.

I blame lax parenting that causes some kids to have entitlement issues - they think the world owes them a living.

I have some business friends who take on apprentices to give them (paid) experience in a particular industry. I was told of one apprentice that couldn't be bothered to turn up ! (Needless to say she was "let go" and the college informed)
What a waste of a place !

I’m not sure where you have got that 50% figure from, but it’s total nonsense.

What do parents think they are achieving by being so soft on their children? Are they just afraid of confrontation?

Yes I think that

but some parents don’t

it’s much better for some to have a misunderstood/undiscovered genius than a bus driver - however deranged that is

Almost all young people I know who ARE working have volunteered/worked since early teens. I think it's so important. And I think parents need to start thinking about it and planning for it - and working out which of their friends can help with this - from age 10 onwards. I think it's the biggest advantage you can give your kids these days.

TBH once they have graduated, it's almost too late. As you say, who are you going to employ: someone with a reference or someone without?

Some will

some adult children are clever and will play their parents like a fiddle claiming ill mental health if pushed to hard or in any sort of direction

Getting a job is hard, especially if you don't have any experience. My DD literally applied for every single job she could, including shop work, bar work, childcare, cleaning and washing out of work for over a year. Thankfully she's working now but what more could I have done? What note could she do?
Unless things change massively my youngest will never be able to work and I'm not sure about DD2. She's doing media at college but it's a really competitive market and she has health conditions which is another barrier.
If course you should be proud of your children but don't judge other people's children unless you know the exact circumstances and exactly what they are doing. If they are claiming what was JSA they will have to prove they are looking for work not just gaming.

To be honest I don’t care what other parents do
and neither should you @goldenteapot

being brutal the more parents who pamper to their child’s inability to take a job beneath them the less competition in the job market for ours

a friend had jobs going for teenagers and why did ours get one, because they asked themselves not us, a small slice of initiative (we didn’t prompt him either) he was 11 at the time

This describes well the issues my hardworking child is having in their first graduate job. They sometimes want to ask a quick question but do not feel able to set up a teams meeting for something so small. They say the issue is sometimes even too ‘trivial’ for an email. They would love to quickly ask somebody about it face to face it in 30 seconds. Like we all did when we started out.

Again when I mentioned this on a thread, the blame was put on my adult child for not being resourceful enough and for not being clever enough to work it out themselves. My daughter often goes into the office and is the only one there and speaks to the rest of her team via a screen. It’s crazy to have that as your regular experience when starting out.

Working where I do and seeing ignorant, uninformed, uneducated, disabilist, discriminatory, bullying posts such as this makes me want to bang my head off of a wall. I will never understand why people like yourself make these posts, why you're so nasty and venemous towards people with neurological didabilities which could cause them further harm and harm to others in the work place.

Please enlighten me why people with disabilities make you feel so disgusted? Then again, I'm probably wasting my energy on people like you.

What a nasty individual, poking fun at people with disabilities. I suppose you're going to blame them/someone/something for the fact they were born with autism, next?

Jesus. If this was a post asking why able minded and able bodied individuals can work; I wouldn't feel so angry when seeing these posts. I would be more than understanding.

Lately, Mumsnet has turned into an attack forum, instead of a forum for help.

You could have worded this better; "Please would anyone mind explaining that prevents you from being in the workplace when you're ND, because I want to better further my understanding and knowledge going forward, enabling myself to be more empathetic."

Alas, we have developed a culture of class-labeling, arrogant boomers.

@mumsnet Are you not able to delete these posts? Imagine someone with a disability, coming across this and feeling horrendous because they do not work.

DS 18 has applied for part time work but never hears back. He said it's frustrating. He got his first part time job aged 17 as a recycling operative with the local authority but became unwell and couldn't continue so his contract ended. He has been trying since with no joy.

Look at how many people on here say they don't want their children to work while at school/doing A-levels/studying for a degree. And then we have someone with a child with a first in Maths unable to find a job. The ones who have worked from a young age are in a far better position even if they don't have such a good degree, or even if they didn't go to University at all!

I don't know why you think I feel people with disabilities make me feel disgusted? I'm sorry if you have taken that from my post, and I'm not sure how.

My DC have autism diagnoses and I am (mobility) disabled myself which is why I WFH.

What are the jobs and volunteer positions they have held? Asking for ideas my own early teenagers.

Pot-washing, kitchen work, NHS volunteering, volunteering for dog-walking charity, that national citizenship summer programme - forgotten what that's called - it was just a few weeks but useful for experience for application forms etc.

TBH you only need a few examples of 'things you've done' and it makes a big difference when trying to get the next job.

Paper round, delivering leaflets
babysitting
even washing neighbours cars is a start

look on the Duke of Edinburgh website which will lead you to volunteering opportunities in your area

Contact your local town council and ask about litter picking (volunteering) actually a lot of places amid a litter picking volunteer morning especially at this time of year

No they’re not. DC at school or university are in full time education- the clue is in the name.

Ime those who are best placed to enter the job market have worked hard at their studies, maximised their grades and done extra-curriculars they enjoy.

I have recruited graduates and earning a fiver an hour in a local cafe doesn’t tell me much.

Maybe, maybe not. But although you make some good points, tbh you do sound rather unwilling to accept that a lot of young people these days face genuine challenges that previous generations didn't. There's far less work available nowadays for all sorts of reasons. If a young person is not working that does not necessarily mean they aren't looking for work or do not want to find it.

Similarly, if they are dealing with MH challenges that currently make finding work/working more difficult, that doesn't mean to say they aren't in treatment or taking steps to help themselves. And personally, I don't think getting up late is relevant unless they're also not making a reasonable effort to find work. Job hunting can be done at any time of day.

She already does. And no, it hasn't got her a job.

Very few paper rounds still exist today! I’m sure some people think it’s 1990.

Local newsagents regularly have notices around here

Where's the nasty in her posts against disabilities?
The venom?

Unless I just missed it, for which I apologise, I don't see any of this or any of the the things you say.