to be getting irate at friends with adult DC who do not work?

[goldenteapot]

My DC are in their mid-late 20s and all in work - but are the exception among family and friends. They have around 12 cousins - none of whom have ever worked in so much as a local pub or shop, and all live in their parents' naice houses gaming all day. Lots have one or two degrees, so are not stupid by any means! I think statistically about 50% of young adults of this age that are not working - but among my family and friends it's very much higher.

It's a similar story with friends: every adult child is depressed or anxious and/or autistic so cannot work. The assumption seems to be that the jobs market is too difficult and their children can't cope. Conversation when we meet is all about how frustrated everyone is because they can't get their DC to work or do anything around the house.

I just want to shake them all! They are providing no tough love or reasons that these children will ever work and live independently.

AIBU to be losing my patience with everyone, or am I a bit of a bitch and working life really is too tough these days for young people?

@DrumsPleaseFab good point about some roles offering training.
I’m in local govt and everyone has access to a wide range of learning and development courses (subject to to manager ok) Some are IT eg excel some more general eg building confidence in workplace, giving presentations.
A yp in a temp or low grade admin type role could take courses to add to their cv.

I think we are doing young people a bit of a disservice here. I see plenty employed in customer facing roles in my home town. Supermarkets. Pubs. Hairdressers. It's not the case that all young people are anxiety stricken and don't want to work

Hospitality would be a nightmare for ND people with social anxiety and mutism. Your child could do it, many couldn't. If they can, they should. If they can't, then they need understanding and support to do what they are capable of. A public facing job would be the end of some people. I know of one case where it was literally the end of a person, sadly.

Sometimes they don't have personal relationships. It's hard to form personal relationships outside the family when you can't communicate well, or have mutism. It can be lonely.

One thing's for sure as far as I'm concerned, and that is if we don't get a lot of our young folk to change and start tearing themselves away from screens we're letting our society head in a very worrying direction. People have to be able to communicate on a personal level.. It's absolutely important for communities, societies, and civilisation.

Can we ban computer games? Or maybe ban the internet entirely.

I agree there are issues with a lot of young people but you can't make someone who can't communicate, communicate. There also has to be allowance for those who genuinely can't. And recognised that, while a small number, those people exist and need understanding and support. You can tell them they have to communicate all you like but, if they can't, they can't.

They are also a different kettle of fish to those who can but lack resilience, don't want to and could learn. I'd just hate to see those with real needs put under the banner of those who are just not trying.

🤣😂 I thought this thread was going to be about being irate at friends who do not work (retired early with adult children).

There's nothing wrong with computer games. I like them just fine but it doesn't get in the way of real life.

As for banning the internet, not going to happen, but the idea has merit. It's definitely been a mixed thing of good and very bad.

Computer games were fine when it was just pac man or Space Invaders but these games nowadays are too immersive and people lose themselves in them for weeks/months at a time. They should definitely be banned.

Banned?

As 1980's kids start to age out, computer games will become a major source of entertainment for housebound OAPs.

Gaming is already a popular activity for South Korean OAPs.

Unfortunately the world moves on and we have to find a way to navigate that. Just banning things we find challenging isn't really a viable solution.

I also think that young people finding life difficult and struggling in the work place is a complex and difficult issue. Blaming parents is reductive and unhelpful. If there was an easy fix we wouldn't be here - NO ONE wants their adult child on the sofa / in their bedroom claiming benefits.

Young people on computer games is potentially less of an issue than old people being online and manipulated by algorithms and voting for Brexit and Reform as a result, which ends up costing the country billions as well.
Elderly demographic at least and if not more, subject to online manipulation as they also have far too much time on their hands.

I can't see that catching on with the OAPs that I know ( and I'm one!). Round here it's all book groups and quizzes.

Banning the Internet? So no forums like this. No online shopping. No online study (The Open university and other online unis would fold). No being able to keep in touch with family on social media.

Why would you ban the Internet just because some young people game?

No buying tickets to concerts/football games online.

Somehow people survived and did all these things without the internet, so that's not really such a big deal.

The idea we should ban games and internet because some people can't be balanced with it is silly though. I mean, have you seen the size of my reading pile backlog? Maybe we need to ban books. It's clearly out of control.

I do think there are merits to banning in the internet, but not because some people game too much.

The OU has been going a lot longer than mass use of the internet.

As for online ticket buying and online shopping, I'd rather go back to doing things in person, and seeing things in shops. If you want to buy, say, appliances now, where on earth do you go to actually look at them?

The ou has been mostly online since covid. Around 90 per cent online if not more so.

I'm disabled so being able to go to an online uni was a lifeline for me.

You really think if someone's well enough to sit and game they're well enough to work?! You really are painting yourself as very ill-informed on this thread.

I remember going to buy tickets for events before the internet with my parents. You got them in person, you interacted during the outing to get them, getting them was part of the experience of the event and family time. Or you got them on the day.

Universities that do distance education were more online before Covid anyway. I did part of my studies before online universities and you were just sent the materials by post. You posted your assignments back. That worked for disabled people too.

I did post grad studies mostly online. It's really no different other than that the materials are online rather than physical.

Right. But you can buy them online now which makes it a lot easier for people who can't take a day off to queue

Yet somehow, those with full time jobs didn't miss out on tickets. You often picked them up on the way home. No all day queues. Better customer service, so more agents.

The point I'm trying to make is that the ou is more or less online now so if the Internet were banned it would make life a lot tougher for a lot of people. Disabled people in particular

Nobody would work if they didn’t have to, the idle rich goes back to the Stone Age I would imagine. We’ve all been indoctrinated with this nonsense that we need to work ourselves into a grave.
What we actually need to do is provide food and shelter for ourselves in our family and if they can do that why should they exchange their sweat and labour?