to be getting irate at friends with adult DC who do not work?

[goldenteapot]

My DC are in their mid-late 20s and all in work - but are the exception among family and friends. They have around 12 cousins - none of whom have ever worked in so much as a local pub or shop, and all live in their parents' naice houses gaming all day. Lots have one or two degrees, so are not stupid by any means! I think statistically about 50% of young adults of this age that are not working - but among my family and friends it's very much higher.

It's a similar story with friends: every adult child is depressed or anxious and/or autistic so cannot work. The assumption seems to be that the jobs market is too difficult and their children can't cope. Conversation when we meet is all about how frustrated everyone is because they can't get their DC to work or do anything around the house.

I just want to shake them all! They are providing no tough love or reasons that these children will ever work and live independently.

AIBU to be losing my patience with everyone, or am I a bit of a bitch and working life really is too tough these days for young people?

I have 3 of 4 of those mental health disorders. I've never not worked. Wouldn't occur to me not to as I can cope. It's not easy but I can't leech off other people's tax money as they are probably struggling with the same or other things, just as much as me.

If she's volunteering and applying for jobs, she's nothing like the people I'm talking about!

Saw this today too. Some companies are actively discriminating against young people:
https://inews.co.uk/inews-lifestyle/stopped-hiring-graduates-older-workers-ai-4293473

And where do you think sweeping generalisations like that leave people who are genuinely hampered in their ability to work by these conditions?

Only 2 of the 4 I listed are mental health disorders?
So a bit skeptical that you’ve actually been diagnosed at the disorder level for any.

I don't blame them. The lack of resilience is astounding IME.

But this thread is about people in their 20s, and you’re saying a loss of jobs has pushed late 20s-mid 40s into the gig economy when a lot of posters are saying the mid to late 20s adults they know will not find work or are unwilling to work for low pay. So which is it? Because both those assertions cannot be true.

Wow, so let’s blame child bearing aged women not being offered jobs because of lack of resilience too, after all the fact many will need a year long baby moon is just not good work ethic and what employer wants to risk the costs of that?

Or is it just age discrimination that is ok in your book?

Both can be true,
It is true that some young people turn their nose up at applying for gig jobs, and it is also true that the loss of jobs has pushed many older workers into the gig jobs, making getting those jobs harder for young people to get.

Exactly. I started as a pot washer in a family member’s cafe at age 12. I was then promoted to waitress at 14. Cash in hand. And I’m sure a lot of these posters would not want their children washing pots at the age of 12 but guess who could already point to work experience and had references when she started applying for retail/hospitality roles at 16+?

Ok well these particular jobs you describe for under 16's sound like they are unofficial, probably illegal, only available to those few in the know, and vanishingly far and few between.

And this thread is absolutely not about the latter but about the former.

Absolutely this.

There is a H&S law against under18s in any kitchen these days, a 16+ can be in a kitchen if a risk assessment is done and certain approvals obtained and so on.

No restaurant will hire a 12-14yr old these days. It’s actually illegal I think?

If the parents are willing to bankroll them, then honestly, i don't see the issue.

To be claiming benefits they must have either genuine health conditions, or be meeting the requirements of job searching to satisfy UC without sanctions.

If the parents aren't willing to kick them out/charge rent etc that's their choice, but i'd make it clear you aren't willing to listen to them moan about it!

And again, I am just pointing to one example. It’s an example, not a mandate.

Well. I’ve been on the thread since it started and the thread has evolved into an overall discussion on the many reasons why young people are having a hard time being in work after leaving school or graduating. HTH

A lot of the health and safety stuff has really hindered young people in getting work. As has a lot of the workers rights stuff. Firms are generally a lot more happy to take a risk on employing the young and inexperienced if they know they can get rid of them if they aren't the right fit.

An example from a past that cannot be applied to today.
I started paid work at 12 as well. It’s as relevant as 8yr olds working in a cotton mill.

I think it's under 16 - but there is still cash-in-hand work available.

And yes some of it may be less-than-legal. But as soon as they hit 16 they will still be there working. As soon as they hit 18 they will be behind the bar.

Are you genuinely telling me that grown adults in their twenties are struggling to get work because H&S rules have changed to stop under 18s working in kitchens?! One has absolutely nothing to do with the other. These are just examples of what having a bit of drive can do - which was the point of the OP. The fact is that for some reason a lot of young people seem to be sitting and watching the world go by, and ignoring the fact there seems to be a severe lack of energy, enthusiasm and willingness to get on should not be excused away.

I began work in the local chip shop at 14. My parents would have kicked me out if I had not found a "proper" job at 16. I waited several months for a civil service appointment (then as now it was a long process). My father kept pushing me towards dead end jobs in shops and factories throughout the waiting process. I was just a cash machine to them and there was a lot of pressure to start earning.

Its fair to say that many of the weekend or part time jobs that school children and college leavers relied upon are now thin on the ground. Local government regulations prevent companies employing school kids without endless bureaucracy. And employers prefer experienced workers so are looking to older people.

@goldenteapot work no longer pays. Genuinely - if they live if naice houses, why bother. Labour has no value anymore, they just need to sit tight and inherit.

YANBU OP. If these young people are not working they’re not paying tax and contributing to society. They are content to let everyone else do the graft whilst they sleep in, play games and do bog all.

That’s annoying

And their lives and prospects sound shit.

I mean, I can see why some young people would feel this way. But it's such a shit way of seeing life. Just in terms of dying-with-the-most-stuff.