to be getting irate at friends with adult DC who do not work?

[goldenteapot]

My DC are in their mid-late 20s and all in work - but are the exception among family and friends. They have around 12 cousins - none of whom have ever worked in so much as a local pub or shop, and all live in their parents' naice houses gaming all day. Lots have one or two degrees, so are not stupid by any means! I think statistically about 50% of young adults of this age that are not working - but among my family and friends it's very much higher.

It's a similar story with friends: every adult child is depressed or anxious and/or autistic so cannot work. The assumption seems to be that the jobs market is too difficult and their children can't cope. Conversation when we meet is all about how frustrated everyone is because they can't get their DC to work or do anything around the house.

I just want to shake them all! They are providing no tough love or reasons that these children will ever work and live independently.

AIBU to be losing my patience with everyone, or am I a bit of a bitch and working life really is too tough these days for young people?

"am I a bit of a bitch" this is not your circus @goldenteapot

At that age tell them they need to move out. In the long run it is beneficial for them.

Well done to your DC.

To be clear, I was referencing to OP’s description of all day gamers who are not making attempts to obtain employment or use their time gainfully, not situations like your DC who has navigated challenges and converted his hobby into productive employment.

I get where you are coming from, but I honestly think you should be grateful and count your blessings that your kids are not like that, OP, rather than worrying about all the ones who are. It is difficult though.

The problem is that there are more young people than there are jobs for them. The number of pubs, restaurants, cafes, hotel jobs - hospitality- has accounted for the majority of job losses in the UK for several years in a row
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c05ey2ypp92o

Agree. I know of a 16 year old boy who hasn’t been to school for two years because “he doesn’t like people”. Well fuck me neither do I but you get on with it. It’s called living. The mother doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest. I’d be heartbroken if my sons had thought it was a good idea to write themselves off at 14. 14!!! Well we simply wouldn’t have allowed it. My dad always said “get up, get out. Work is the finest thing out there for you” I also know of parents who don’t send their primary aged kids to school. Can’t be bothered. What a fucking world we live in.

They dont live with me, they live with their mum who enables them to live as they are. Any intervention by my DH is not welcome and is basically told to mind his own business.

I have told DH that if anything happens to their mum there is no way in hell they are coming to live with us. Ever.

Disability is paraplegic, MND..

Whilst:-

Depression
Anxiety
Autism
ADHD

Affect the majority if the population to some degree I.e not rare. If many have something it means they are not disadvantaged.

Plus their experience is about an economy from 45yrs ago, not today.

The young people you are seeing will be 16+ if working in a supermarket, or 18 everywhere else. Or possibly 'work experience' from school which is unpaid of course.

You won't be seeing any young people doing paid work that are <16.

There are no jobs for under 16's. I live in a popular seaside town and trust me me and all my friends have looked and asked for our own children. WE even know several restaurant owners and they just can't do it. There is too much red tape to employ an under 16 year old. Small businesses won't touch it with a barge pole.

Reading this makes me want to scream. Who do people think they are that they expect us to keep them.

She must be in a good career but her decision making is lacking. Well done to you.

The economy is always changing. Moaning about how better things were in the past is not going to do anyone and favours. Kids need to get out there and engage with the world, not cut themselves off and live like hermits, funded by their parents and/or the DWP.

Hmm, I can only assume that you have never met anyone for whom autism, depression etc ARE incredibly debilitating, and absolutely would make work difficult if not impossible.
I assume it's just a lack of knowledge, rather than pure cruelty and prejudice.

How is less than 10% for each a majority?

Your comment too that if many have something they’re not disadvantaged - how does that work for sexism? Women are the majority of adults, and yet we are certainly disadvantaged.

Okay, what about babysitting, dog walking, cleaning, gardening, handy work, anything else in the gig economy? And even if that’s not possible prior to the age of 16 are you genuinely telling me that some of these young people have not been able to find a single job, any job, between the ages of 16 to their mid twenties? Really?! The will just isn’t there for a lot of people I’m afraid.

Kids need to get out there and what? Magic up jobs? Getting out there isn’t going to create jobs. This is a failure of successive governments. In addition, in the past young adults could apply to work at any job in the EU as there are EU countries that are begging for workers and young people. But thanks to Brexit young graduates today are stuck only looking in the UK and our economy is losing jobs every day, especially entry level jobs.

No worries! I had to eat my own words once I realised that as well as hiding away gaming into the night, he was learning new skills, communicating with others and finding some hard-won confidence.

The criteria is huge. Of course there are more severe cases. Unfortunately for them too many use it as their get out if jail card. We can't seriously as a country be full of severe cases. No, multiple mild cases. The very ill suffer as a consequence.

The number of these jobs have decreased due to the cost of living crisis, many who could afford a gardener, dog walker, cleaner no longer can. In addition, the loss of jobs has pushed many older adults (late 20s to mid40s) into the gig economy and employers prefer employees with experience over young adults and definitely over students.

According to the latest UK job market report from recruitment platform Adzuna, graduate roles, apprenticeships and other junior positions fell by 6.8 per cent in July to 209,778. Entry-level vacancies now account for just 21.9 per cent of all UK job listings – the lowest share recorded since 2019.
The number of junior roles has dropped by more than a third since November 2022, while graduate jobs, despite a slight rise in July, remain down by more than a quarter year on year.

Your smug posts are really irritating. Both me and my DH work hard. Our dd is volunteering and applying for jobs. Nothing.

She can’t even get a job in a supermarket

These are some jobs for under 16s. Mine all had jobs under 16 with a local private club that still employs young teens - cash in hand.

I employ a young teen cash in hand to do odd jobs for me.

It's not true to say that these things don't happen. They are often under the radar but do happen.

Where are the magical jobs then?