AIBU to consider shaving my 7-year-old’s legs after teasing?

[Gillettegirl]

I mentioned to DD7 this morning (as I was trying to cram her arm into her polo shirt that’s suddenly too small) it won’t be long before she can start wearing her summer uniform dresses to school. She looked upset by this and asked if she could wear tights with them. I said she’d be too hot in the summer in tights, to which she replied, ‘well I’ll still be wearing my cardigans in the summer’.

DD has olive skin, and the hairs on her arms and legs do show up against her skin (they fade in summer to be less noticeable). Turns out one of the boys in her class has told her she is so hairy she looks like a boy. I said that just because one person said that it doesn’t mean it’s true. This boy is a bit of a gobby character and apparently a few of the girls in the class agreed with him, so she said it must be true.

DD does sports outside of school, which I encourage as I want her to be confident about her body, and all the other benefits exercise brings. Nobody at her sports classes has ever mentioned her ‘hairiness’ but I wonder how long it will be before she loses confidence and doesn’t want to go anymore.

Now, my initial response was ‘sod it, let’s just shave her arms and legs, then’ – I shave mine, we live in the UK where it’s the norm, chances are she’ll end up shaving when she’s a teenager anyway, so what’s the point in making her suffer the next few years at primary school, for the sake of thinking she’s too young to be shaved. For info – I will be shaving her if we do it – not going to let her loose with a razer blade until she’s much older. I think her being confident about her body is extremely important, and once that confidence is lost, it’s difficult to get back.

On the other hand, it pisses me off that we’re in this situation at such a young age. I also don’t want to set off an idea in her head that if there’s something you’re not happy with in your appearance, you can just change it, and set her on a path of endless facelifts, boob jobs and butt lifts. Probably overthinking things here.

Don’t shave her – you are being unreasonable
Shave her – you are NOT being unreasonable

I was a "hairy" girl at school (think: jet black body hair, and milk-white skin that is oversensitive and just does not tan). At 7, I stopped wearing skirts, dresses, shorts and anything sleeveless because of it. My mother still pulled her face when I asked to shave when I was in secondary school!

Please let her have it removed if it is beginning to bother her. It's easier to remove body hair than it is to regain body confidence.

Please please please don't shave her legs. I also had some reading mentions of my body hair at around her age and I think if my mother had endorsed it by shaving my legs it would have given me a lifelong complex about it tbh. It's perfectly norman and natural for her to have leg hair, it's the kids teasing her that's the issue and I would bring it up with the school personally.

Totally disagree tbh, shaving her legs isn't giving her body confidence it's giving her a complex from a really young age that her body is wrong and disgusting. I also have very pale skin and dark hair and I can still remember teasing comments (mostly from boys) at around her age but I think the fact that I wasn't encouraged to see what they were saying as correct has actually given me more body confidence as I've got older. Encouraging toxic beauty standards in a literal child is just sad, she will have enough pressure to do this in a few years anyway

Not quite the same but at a similar age DD took her dad’s razor to her eyebrows because the class bully (girl) told her they were massive. Needless to say they weren’t massive after the razor… I waxed them a little from then on in return for her promising to never shave them herself again. Yes, body positivity blah blah- but if it makes them miserable then the current ideal of body politics is not compulsory.

And when she does shave her legs, he will take the piss out of her for having no hair on her legs at all, or that she's so hairy she has to shave her legs.

He is a twat.

Just explain to your DD that this boy's life is SO boring and pathetic, that's why he feels the need to pick on people, and to just ignore him.

I teach in a secondary school and kids like this boy just pick on people that they will get a reaction out of.

Yabu. Don't teach her that she's needs to change herself because someone is taking the piss.

I started shaving my legs in secret at that age too. Absolutely teach her to shave her legs and to always moisturise afterwards. Make sure its part of her routine and not adhoc so it becomes second nature and not a big deal every time. Kids do notice hairy legs and arms and it is awful and unnecessary to deal with the embarrassment. Get her a proper venus razor with the padded heads.

What do you think it is then because that's EXACTLY what it is whether we like it or not.

Really,that would only ramp up the bullying and make that little 7 year old feel even more ashamed and embarrassed. We're talking about tiny children not adults.

You should have her checked first by a Pediatrician to evaluate if the hair growth is normal and then make a decision from there. She may have a pitunitary or adrenal gland disorder which needs to be ruled out first.

Admittedly, I don’t have a daughter - but if I did, I would make it my fucking mission to find out who that boy was and his little group of girl bully sycophants and have that shit stamped on: hard.

I was hairy i had no comments about it. And if I had I'd expect the school to deal with that person.

Its one boy why should she shave??

Shaving creates itchiness and ingrown hairs she shouldn't be dealing with that at 7

Absolutely do not start shaving your 7 year old. Please.

You can get very thin like ballerina sheer tights. You can buy those for her. With my girl I always put in tights or long socks with shorts under summer dresses because she often has falls and the tights protect her somewhat

Sheer tights would simply flatten the hair on her legs and make it look darker and more visible.

These are awful, my skin comes up in a massive bumpy rash after use!

I do think that age 7 it’s giving a message ‘you as a girl are meant to be pleasing to look at’, and also ‘we adapt ourselves to suit what others want us to be. At 12 I might say different but you are right OP that it is very young.

Probably it’s already been said, but how would you approached it if some kid said she had a big nose or wonky ears? Unkind comments are unfortunately part of most children’s experience and imo should be dealt with by school, and at home you working on self esteem. The message that when someone speaks to you like that, it says more about them than it does about you, etc. Being really clear - ‘wee Jim was just wrong about that. Your dark hair is beautiful and many women around the world have dark hair and they are beautiful too’. Read Frida Kahlo stories to her! Teach her that one stupid boy is not worth a moment of her head space (while acknowledging it is horrible when people say things like this).