AIBU to consider shaving my 7-year-old’s legs after teasing?

[Gillettegirl]

I mentioned to DD7 this morning (as I was trying to cram her arm into her polo shirt that’s suddenly too small) it won’t be long before she can start wearing her summer uniform dresses to school. She looked upset by this and asked if she could wear tights with them. I said she’d be too hot in the summer in tights, to which she replied, ‘well I’ll still be wearing my cardigans in the summer’.

DD has olive skin, and the hairs on her arms and legs do show up against her skin (they fade in summer to be less noticeable). Turns out one of the boys in her class has told her she is so hairy she looks like a boy. I said that just because one person said that it doesn’t mean it’s true. This boy is a bit of a gobby character and apparently a few of the girls in the class agreed with him, so she said it must be true.

DD does sports outside of school, which I encourage as I want her to be confident about her body, and all the other benefits exercise brings. Nobody at her sports classes has ever mentioned her ‘hairiness’ but I wonder how long it will be before she loses confidence and doesn’t want to go anymore.

Now, my initial response was ‘sod it, let’s just shave her arms and legs, then’ – I shave mine, we live in the UK where it’s the norm, chances are she’ll end up shaving when she’s a teenager anyway, so what’s the point in making her suffer the next few years at primary school, for the sake of thinking she’s too young to be shaved. For info – I will be shaving her if we do it – not going to let her loose with a razer blade until she’s much older. I think her being confident about her body is extremely important, and once that confidence is lost, it’s difficult to get back.

On the other hand, it pisses me off that we’re in this situation at such a young age. I also don’t want to set off an idea in her head that if there’s something you’re not happy with in your appearance, you can just change it, and set her on a path of endless facelifts, boob jobs and butt lifts. Probably overthinking things here.

Don’t shave her – you are being unreasonable
Shave her – you are NOT being unreasonable

Do not use the mitt. I tried this on myself and burnt myself quite badly

As a massively hirsute child who was bullied mercilessly for being hairy I'd shave her legs
My mother wouldn't allow me to shave my legs until I was 11. She said I was too young.
When I moved to a predominantly Asian neighbourhood in the UK I was pleasantly surprised to find that many Asian parents shaved or waxed their daughters legs and arms, it is absolutely the norm here
My daughter had a bit of a monobrow and aI would wax it at her request.

It's no different to getting her hair trimmed,not like shes getting a tattoo or her belly button pierced

Another Hairy Mary here 👋

I also say don't do it. Not at 7.

I took matters into my own hands when I was 12 and could wield a razor myself

I think most of us dark haired girls probably had similar. I’m glad my mum taught me to ignore silly people rather than bend to them. I’m an independent woman now with my own mind and regularly go stretches with hair and then stretches of shaving. I do what I want.

Teach your daughter to stand up to bullies, not bend to them. Some idiot boy shouldn’t dictate what your daughter does to her body.

You must have been too vigorous or have very sensitive skin - they are in wide use. Like everything else, waxing, threading, any skin treatment you have to be careful.

The OP can try it on herself first, see how it feels

I've never been convinced that you teach resilience by putting kids into a situation that they can't cope with. If she's already worrying about summer dresses then she's too self conscious for being told to ignore the teasing.

I'd use an electric shaver, it won't do her skin any harm even at a young age. Shaving your arms is fine, it's no different to shaving your legs.

I did with my daughter when she was only slightly older then yours shes blonde but she did have weirdly hairy legs and kids where making comments she started to refuse to wear skirts and dresses and was really upset about it she was much happier and confident after. I think its unfair as adults we do things to make ourselves feel more body confident. Yet when kids have th same feelings they are just expected to be resilient

I had the opposite experience. I tried the mitt and it didn't remove any hair. Before people start saying I must have been using it wrong, I wasn't. A relative who used them frequently tried them on me and had no success. Hair removal creams also don't work on me. My hair is just too strong. Depends on your hair type and ethnicity. A shame as they looked great.

Same here, they're useless. You have to use it so hard to get any hair removed you're ripping the skin off!!

Oh no these were awful I basically sandpapered my lower legs with them as I was not allowed to shave and it took about a month to fully heal 😭😂

I was a hairy child who stole my Dad’s razor and cut my legs to shreds. Had to go into school covered in plasters which wasn’t much better. I was desperate and thought shaving would fix what was “wrong” with me but I was a child. I find grown women debating the best hair removal method for a seven year old child really hard to read.

Ideally, as a society we’d all just get our heads round the fact that there are hairy humans about and some of those are female but we’re a long, long way from that so I have no idea what to do about young girls being made to feel self conscious about their own natural bodies. I have a daughter and I know this dilemma is round the corner for me because of the wonderful genetics I generously passed down.

It’s hard because I’d want to take the problem away to make her feel better but how do you do that without basically saying the other children were right and there is something that needs changing about her appearance. Agree with others though that going from the kid with hairy arms and legs to the kid who has to shave her arms and legs isn’t always the confidence boost you think it’ll be.

Well they worked on my hairy knees! And knuckles I've just remembered.

DD took it upon herself at 8 to shave her legs because of a similar issue.

I was so cross - not at her, but at the children who were making comments about her (perfectly normal) hairy legs, she wasn't the only one being picked on, there were three or four girls also being picked on. It wasn't a one off comment, it was constant pick pick picking at her and we've had to do a lot of work on her body confidence because of some children who think that making spiteful comments on someone's appearance is okay.

I agree that it should be covered in school but the responsibility of raising a child to be respectful of others and kind is ultimately they role of their parents.

I'd talk to school first, see how that goes and then give her the option of shaving or not. A quick go over with a mens electric razor (men's stuff is generally better) would be my recommendation. This is what i do every now and then as I can't be bothered to wet shave.

I love this naive idea that teachers telling kids to be kind and not tease others will actually make that a reality. If only!
I'm all for anything that stops kids getting teased (actual word - bullied) at school, because the impact of that is permanent. I'd do it.

I would get her a few pairs of knee high white socks if that goes with the uniform and say she can wear them if she wants (with other socks available). She should be able to decide which parts of her body she covers or reveals.

I’d try really hard not to get rid of the hair so young and build her confidence instead. There are so many people nowadays embracing body hair I really think you should encourage her to be ok with it. Many celebrities have appeared on the red carpet with armpit hair. Address it with the school and make sure they put a stop to the comments. It is really hard though especially watching your child be upset

it might make her feel nicer in herself and more confident and you can take her to get her hair done and nails as well

As someone who has dark thick hair.. yes do it if it is that noticable.

I don’t disagree with the sentiment but what about the potential permanent impact of your own mother essentially agreeing with the bullies and helping you change your natural appearance to appease them. I would not want my seven year old bullied but equally I wouldn’t want them to think you have to change yourself to fit in because where does that end.

Could she wear knee length thin white socks instead? My DD is 15 but as lazy as they come so she wears knee length socks and only shaves her knees and just above (because she rolls her bloody skirt up too) so no one can tell.
I’ve got to say, I’d probably let her do it if she comes back again with the same problem. I was a hairy child and pinched my mums razor to do it because I hated it.

Im mix about it because i was bullied bad about having hairy legs, but my mother would not let me shave them.
At 7 i would have to say no maybe when your 10 we will talk about it again.
If it is one of them things where its to much for her maybe hair remover cream.
i feel bad for her as its not nice but 7 is to young.
Maybe she will forget all about this in a few days try not to bring it up.

As i said im mixed about it.

My mum wouldn't let me shave my legs til I was 14 and the teasing in secondary was MISERY. Then again I was also mercilessly teased for being mixed race so it was misery anyway.

I think at 7 I wouldn't shave her legs for her but in secondary, most of the other girls will shave so then I would.

Poor little girl. She has many years of being expected to be hairfree - don't start at 7 please. Kids are so absolutely horrible.