Don't Want to use Voucher on 2nd Friend

[BoundaryGirl3939]

I know this sounds petty but I can't help how I feel.

I have a voucher for a really nice restaurant. I asked a good friend of mine to go to this restaurant tomorrow and mentioned i had a voucher we could use. She said great.

She has since messaged me to say she has invited another friend.

I have noticed in the past that when the 3 of us are together that I can be sidelined and ignored. I dont think its intentional but i decided I would stay away from get-togethers with the 3 of us.

This is the petty part. I didnt mind using the voucher on the first friend as she is a good friend. The second lady she invited has been stingy with me in the past and is self absorbed. I dont want to use my voucher on her. Not because of the cash but on principle.

They now know I have this voucher...but I never offered to use it on 2nd friend. How do I get out of this without making things awkward? I can't leave the 3rd lady out but I equally dont want to use it on her.

If your friend is constantly inviting her other friend along when you've made plans with her, then they exclude you, I'd be thinking time to call it on this "friendship". It's really rude to invite other people to a planned get together. And she does it often, and then is even ruder by making you feel excluded.

Oh, she caught that you said you had a voucher. That's why she invited her buddy. Your friend wanted you to treat her and her buddy to a free meal. That's why she said her buddy couldn't make it after you made it clear the voucher wasn't covering the buddy.

She's using you.

Other woman cant make it now its not a freebie would that be?

Well done op. You've done exactly the right thing. Stay strong and don't let anyone tread you down.

Just cancel and go on your own with a good book to read.

Tell them you had to give the voucher to a relative who was having a crisis.

I think that is perfect! It lets friend know that the voucher is really a two-person thing, and that you would like to spend it with her specifically.
Side note: I think it is so cheeky of your friend to have invited a third person without checking with you first. Even if you were all absolute besties, it is your voucher and she should have checked in with you.

You need to be honest though with her, it's not really acceptable she invited someone else along without saying anything to you first!

I think it's amazing you said that ... to get to that point means it really, really needed to be said.

If the other friend miraculously can make it on the day - leave the voucher at home 'accidentally on purpose' or just say you have forgotten it even if its in your bag 😉

I wouldn't class your friend as a good friend at all, you don’t do that you have a discussion. Not just invite, I would have said something long ago.

She is at fault for inviting the other friend. You need to somehow cancel and rearrange just for the 2 of you.

Cancel and go with someone else.

This is exactly what I'd do to..

Nothing wrong in it.
If the other friend does turn up don't even consider using the voucher just pay for your own food and use the voucher another time.

totally agree with this!

I'd go but 'forget' to take the voucher - have a 3 way split bill and use your voucher another time ( and with someone else!)

“Great that you invited her, but I was planning on using my voucher for me and you. Will she be ok covering her part?”

Only if your communication skills aren't fully developed

I've seen your update so glad it worked out, but seriously, I hate it when people invite extra people without checking with the organiser first, it's so rude.

100% this

Hi, @RaniIris .

I'd recommend copying and pasting this into a new thread in the Relationships board. You're more likely to get helpful responses there.

op, you are continually making excuses for your friends behaviour and if now isn’t the time to tell her how you feel even about the other person this situation is never going to get better.

Just tell her and if it means the end of your friendship then so be it because it doesn’t seem to be on very solid ground as it is.

Sorry just saw your update.

I would say something like "sure, though I was only planning on using my voucher to treat us, so now X is coming I'll save the voucher for another time".

If your friend thinks that inviting third wheel means she misses out on a cheap meal you may find that that she comes up with her own excuse to uninvite them.

How rude of her to invite someone else without discussion.

Firstly, it was rude of your friend to invite another when it was your original suggestion.

I don’t blame you for wanting to hold onto your voucher, either

1. feign illness
2. say my voucher won’t stretch to 3, I will leave it for another time.