Is this what I asked for??

[ClownsDontHaveNipples]

Ok, so it actually is what I asked for, but bloody hell, use your common sense!

My child (7) decided he'd rather spend the day with my parents than me, fine. No problem with this, he probably spends 40% of his time there anyway, they have very few rules/boundaries, can't blame him.

So, knowing this, all I asked for for Mother's Day was a child-free day. Not a cleaning-free day, not a cooking-free day, just a day without children, just us.

And yet, up he rocked, with his son (17!!), to play his PlayStation (in our bedroom).

If I'm not spending Mother's Day with my own child, I sure as hell don't want to spend it with an almost-adult.

Just one day. That's all I asked for.

And now, because I mumbled something to myself (and he overheard), he's packed up and fucked off.

Give me all you've got, I've got my big girl pants on.

We spent yesterday together. I asked him what he wanted to do and he wanted a "lazy day".

I am the only adult in his life that puts boundaries in place, tells him off, makes him eat vegetables, makes him do his homework. Of course he doesn't want to spend time with me.

I am NC with my "mother". She is a nasty, vindictive woman, but absolutely dotes on my son. Until this negatively affects him, I will not stop him seeing her.

That is so sad OP. It is possible to put boundaries in place and have a wonderful time together. You're his mum, nothing is going to change that so try and get things back on track.

You sent your son to a “nasty vindictive woman” for Mother’s Day? And this nasty vindictive woman looks after your son for you whilst your work?

None of this makes sense to me!

I don’t think your partner bringing his son round to sit in your bedroom is really on - why couldn’t they sit in the living room?

But I think as far as your partner was concerned you were having a child free day. You weren’t having to look after the 17 yo at all presumably - they’re 17! If you’d wanted to do something together, couldn’t you have told him that?

You really don't understand? REALLY???

She's looking forward to spending some time with her partner only to find he'd rather ignore her and play computer games with his son.

Of COURSE she's pissed off!

Unfortunately not. When asked what he wants to do, it never includes me. And when he is "forced" to spend time with me, he finds fault with it. But I digress, this is another issue.

Yes really 🤣

He wanted to spend time with his son. That’s not odd for a father to want to do in his own home is it?

She speaks in a vile way about her partner’s ex anyway so the relationship seems a bit dead in the water to me.

Why are you giving her the satisfaction of knowing your small boy would rather spend Mothering Sunday with her than with his own mother? He’s seven, he does what you tell him. There’s clearly a lot more behind all this than your OP indicated. Your poor opinion of your mother is clear, yet you allow your son to go there whenever he chooses. And your partner doesn’t have much respect for you if he brings his own son to your home on Mother’s Day rather than realising you might be struggling with not having your own child there. It sounds like you’re feeling defeated and have given up any agency over your own life. I think you need to stand up to your partner, who behaved like a dick today (and likely more of the time) and your mother, and work on the most important relationship in your life, with your small child, who will be damaged by all the negativity in his life and needs to know his mum will fight fiercely to protect him.

I don't "send" my son any where; he chooses to go there, where my lovely dad also is.

Unfortunately, my lovely dad is also soft as shit.

So it’s Mother’s Day, and your one child, who you have less than 50% off the time decided they didn’t want to spend it with you… and your annoyed you did get this ‘child free’ day. YABU

But he's 7. You need to smoke the adult calls for him.

Maybe the 17 year olds Mother wanted a child free day?

OP maybe try planning some nice things to do together with your son. It's great that you have boundaries, but you could have said "let's have a nice day together and go to the zoo/park/swimming/movies.

7 year olds shouldn't be calling the shots on where they get to go. Mine would spend 90% of his time in the sweet shop if I offered it as a viable option.

Then she would need to speak to the other three men involved to arrange this. Except that she's decided that two of those are too irresponsible to raise a child. Weird that...

That makes no sense

Presumably this is exactly what happened...

Maybe time for you to head to bed and sleep it off 😉

I work a full time job, and have done since I was 17.
My parents are retired. My child's father does not work by choice.
Given these circumstances, why would I put my child in any form of 'paid childcare'?

You sound very cold and selfish tbh

You did have a child free day. I don’t understand what the issue is, it’s not really about Mothers Day. You are not your partner’s mother why is a problem what he does. It does sound like you don’t understand what being a parent is all about.

Of course it makes sense. She has 4 children to 4 men. And, according to her, 2 of those men are not father material, and does not allow them to see their children.

Your partner prioritised his son over your desire to have a child free day, that's really not good enough, is it @ClownsDontHaveNipples?

You may want to have a re-think of your relationship, to one, that respects your needs and boundaries.

You've got a choice lot of commenters who appear to lac reading comprehension sills and the ability to see past the end of their own nose.

It was pretty shitty of your partner, OP. Does he normally put you last in everything or is this a surprise?

Blimey - it was your chance to have a lovely day with your son, one you could've made special. Whole situation sounds quite sad really.

But to answer your question, no, you asked for a child-free day and your partner ignored that. So you didn't get what you asked for.

You had a free day, you see your 7 year old 30% of the time and didn’t choose to spend Mother’s Day with him?

Yes, I did have a child-free day. At the expense of my relationship.
His child is welcome at my house literally every other day of the year, but I specifically asked for this day to be child-free.
And yet, he couldn't understand that.