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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed by the volume of deleted comments which are merely mildly provocative or robustly stating an opposing opinion, rather than being unacceptably rude or offensive?

186 replies

auserna · 15/03/2026 15:05

NOT a TAAT.

Does anyone else find it highly irritating when threads end up having more holes than Swiss cheese due to so many posts having been deleted?

Much of the time the person at whom the contentious comment was aimed has replied (obviously before the deletion) in a manner that suggests they weren't in the least offended or bothered by it - but now you can no longer see what they were responding to.

It sometimes feels a bit like being back at school, with everyone running to the teacher and gleefully exclaiming, "Reported!" as if they're going to earn a gold star for doing so.

It's not actually injurious to one's health to be mildly ruffled by someone having a different opinion or viewpoint on a particular topic, as happens all the time in real life.

I may be an outlier here, and am happy to accept that if it's the case, but I'm curious to know how others feel.

OP posts:
Springisspringingnow · 15/03/2026 17:45

ClaredeBear · 15/03/2026 17:40

I’ve noticed exactly the same thing, ie the OP responds to a deleted post in a perfectly normal, rational manner. It leads me to believe that many deleted posts are unlikely to cause offence. That’s what the OP is saying. Not that thy remember what’s being said, nor that they are the poster. I appreciate you’re saying we can’t know this for sure as we can’t see deleted posts but I’m sure you understand how the OP of this thread might have deduced this.

My feeling is that as MN has deliberately hidden the option to report posts many OPs and other pp respond to offensive posts without even realising that they have the option to actually report the offensive posts. They think that responding to an offensive post is the only way they can deal with it.

dastardlydani · 15/03/2026 17:50

@Springisspringingnow I didn’t realise you could report until someone said to me on a thread “i’ve reported that for you” & I then asked how. So I agree people don’t realise.

auserna · 15/03/2026 17:51

ClaredeBear · 15/03/2026 17:40

I’ve noticed exactly the same thing, ie the OP responds to a deleted post in a perfectly normal, rational manner. It leads me to believe that many deleted posts are unlikely to cause offence. That’s what the OP is saying. Not that thy remember what’s being said, nor that they are the poster. I appreciate you’re saying we can’t know this for sure as we can’t see deleted posts but I’m sure you understand how the OP of this thread might have deduced this.

Yes, that's exactly what I meant (as I've said previously at least twice now). I don't know what the deleted posts said, but you can generally infer from the tone of the reply whether they were likely to have been offensive.

OP posts:
auserna · 15/03/2026 17:53

I was expecting the poll to be roughly 50:50, but it's currently over 80% in agreement.

OP posts:
Blueharmonica · 15/03/2026 17:56

It’s a left wing thing, differing opinions are not to be tolerated and all that. The mods probably get absolutely bombared by Labour supporters.

BIWI · 15/03/2026 17:57

Don't be ridiculous.

Aslighthead · 15/03/2026 17:57

ClaredeBear · 15/03/2026 17:40

I’ve noticed exactly the same thing, ie the OP responds to a deleted post in a perfectly normal, rational manner. It leads me to believe that many deleted posts are unlikely to cause offence. That’s what the OP is saying. Not that thy remember what’s being said, nor that they are the poster. I appreciate you’re saying we can’t know this for sure as we can’t see deleted posts but I’m sure you understand how the OP of this thread might have deduced this.

Quite often the Op says “why the heck was that post deleted??” So clearly it wasn’t offending the op!

Aslighthead · 15/03/2026 17:58

BIWI · 15/03/2026 17:57

Don't be ridiculous.

Are you a moderator @BIWI ?

dastardlydani · 15/03/2026 17:58

Blueharmonica · 15/03/2026 17:56

It’s a left wing thing, differing opinions are not to be tolerated and all that. The mods probably get absolutely bombared by Labour supporters.

🙄

Port1aCastis · 15/03/2026 18:00

Blueharmonica · 15/03/2026 17:56

It’s a left wing thing, differing opinions are not to be tolerated and all that. The mods probably get absolutely bombared by Labour supporters.

Don't be daft

NovemberMorn · 15/03/2026 18:00

Aslighthead · 15/03/2026 17:58

Are you a moderator @BIWI ?

Do the moderators also post on here, or are they secret, so no one knows if they do or not?

TrashHeap · 15/03/2026 18:02

It's pathetic, honestly. They are far too trigger happy deleting comments.

Blueharmonica · 15/03/2026 18:04

Port1aCastis · 15/03/2026 18:00

Don't be daft

So you haven’t just reported the post?

Isittimeformynapyet · 15/03/2026 18:07

Aslighthead · 15/03/2026 15:32

Out of interest are you an anti vaxxer?

It doesn't sound like it does it.

SerendipityJane · 15/03/2026 18:09

It always does to remember that it's MNs site:MNs rules. No matter how byzantine the moderation may seem. Especially if you aren't paying for it.

It's entirely possible that a post in one thread could be deleted whereas the same comment in a different thread stands. Which is confusing at times.

Bagsintheboot · 15/03/2026 18:14

ClaredeBear · 15/03/2026 17:40

I’ve noticed exactly the same thing, ie the OP responds to a deleted post in a perfectly normal, rational manner. It leads me to believe that many deleted posts are unlikely to cause offence. That’s what the OP is saying. Not that thy remember what’s being said, nor that they are the poster. I appreciate you’re saying we can’t know this for sure as we can’t see deleted posts but I’m sure you understand how the OP of this thread might have deduced this.

I think sometimes if a previously banned poster is detected they just wipe all their posts, so it could sometimes be that.

BIWI · 15/03/2026 18:23

Aslighthead · 15/03/2026 17:58

Are you a moderator @BIWI ?

No!

ilovesooty · 15/03/2026 18:28

BIWI · 15/03/2026 18:23

No!

It was a ridiculous question.

Aslighthead · 15/03/2026 18:32

ilovesooty · 15/03/2026 18:28

It was a ridiculous question.

Oh relax!

auserna · 15/03/2026 18:36

BIWI · 15/03/2026 17:57

Don't be ridiculous.

Who's being ridiculous about what?

OP posts:
auserna · 15/03/2026 18:37

auserna · 15/03/2026 18:36

Who's being ridiculous about what?

Don't worry - I've now seen what you were referring to.

OP posts:
auserna · 15/03/2026 18:38

Aslighthead · 15/03/2026 17:57

Quite often the Op says “why the heck was that post deleted??” So clearly it wasn’t offending the op!

Exactly.

OP posts:
Springisspringingnow · 15/03/2026 18:41

auserna · 15/03/2026 17:53

I was expecting the poll to be roughly 50:50, but it's currently over 80% in agreement.

Tbh i think the poll is pretty meaningless.

The whole issue of reporting posts, the contradictory stance MN has of on the one hand providing the facility to report while simultaneously hiding the mechanism for doing so, the random and often lax way reports are treated means this is a pretty complex issue which your poll isn't really adding much light to .

I think its really good you have addressed the issue of post deletions but the whole issue around reporting posts and the action or non action MN takes around this should really be addressed . Atm their policy is quite detrimental to trust in the site .

hazelberry · 15/03/2026 18:48

Blueharmonica · 15/03/2026 17:56

It’s a left wing thing, differing opinions are not to be tolerated and all that. The mods probably get absolutely bombared by Labour supporters.

Sorry Nigel.

Isittimeformynapyet · 15/03/2026 18:51

Blueharmonica · 15/03/2026 17:56

It’s a left wing thing, differing opinions are not to be tolerated and all that. The mods probably get absolutely bombared by Labour supporters.

No it isn't 🙄🙄🙄