To ask if anybody actually enjoys parenting toddlers?

[huk]

Does anyone actually enjoy parenting toddlers? I’m actually miserable because of my toddlers behaviour, which isn’t me trying to ‘blame’ them; the responsibility for the behaviour ultimately lies with me but the crying and whining and screaming and inability to reason with them is just getting to me. I feel absolutely trapped in a screaming prison.

I find it utterly exhausting but wonderful at the same time. Being out the house is usually much easier but only if we are doing an activity that suits my nearly 3 year old.

I dread the thought of nipping to the shop because it’s so much effort and he runs at any opportunity. The battle to get him into the pushchair is just not worth my sanity.

But seeing his little face every morning as he bursts into our bedroom and gives me a cuddle is priceless. This lasts a few minutes before he demands his breakfast…

I work part-time and find going to work a lot easier! Then I miss him when I’m there.

We are expecting baby number 2 in the summer, I really didn’t enjoy the newborn stage but I think I will relish the snuggles over toddler chaos!

I love seeing my 18 month old daughter learn new things and how pleased it makes her. I love cuddles with her.

But every time she chucks her dinner on the floor I want to scream. Especially when she cry-whinges because I won’t let her eat it after that. Oh and also when she kicks off because she wants to wear her wellies in the bath. Oh god the screaming.

It’s a mixed bag.

Mine's very sweet and funny but has about 300 meltdowns a day over the tiniest things. I much preferred the baby stage and I work with teenagers and they are easier to reason with than toddlers!

The toddler stage was hard! DS1 was sodding hard work and it was awful. DS2 was a delight but it’s still hard when they can’t do anything much but want to get into everything and everywhere. They’re now 10 and 8 which are totally wonderful ages, they’re such fun and my heart aches when we’re not together. It does get better. I look back on the baby and toddler years with some fondness now with my rose tinted glasses but bloody hell was it hard going back then, I only survived it because I’d met some lovely mum friends at baby groups!

We have similar.

’mummy toast! I want toast!’
’Okay! Mummy make toast!’
<give her toast>
NO TOAST NO, NO TOAST MUMMY

I mean …

I try and remember that those tough few weeks usually always precede a jump in development and a lovely new phase with new skills tends to come next.

I love parenting my toddler, but I definitely dont think its unreasonable not to! I really struggled with newborn stage and I know others who loved having a newborn and found it easy. I think it depends on both your own temperament and the child's too.

So you reply, "oh goody cause mummy was REALLY wanting some toast, yummy, so what do you really want?"

It is exhausting but teens…. Omg the stress. I don’t know why but I wasn’t expecting it. Such naivety…

Y’think she can hear that over NO TOAST, NO TOAST, NOOOOOO TOOOOOAAAASSSSST?

YANBU!

I have 3 children - first 2 were actually overall, very compliant. Youngest - OMG it was a battle of wills! It still is at 4, but worse as they can argue back, are mobile and a lot stronger! They like to run around the dining room table so you can'tcatch them, refusing to sit down to eat. Or when it's time to put shoes on. Or do anything else they don't want to do! Won't let you catch them. Aarghhh. My first 2 were never like that!!

Though I still prefer it to newborn/baby stage with the sleepless nights!!

Nobody is ‘piling on’ or bullying you. You made statements, were disagreed with and are now having a massive strop for no reason whatsoever. People are pointing that out and you have gone into full drama professional victim mode. It’s very strange.

To be fair our DS was pretty good…he didn’t adequately prepare us for our DD being far harder! Her first word was “no” and it was downhill from there…

I have 4 kids, three are now adults/teens and a 6yo. I found the toddler years the most mentally and physically exhausting, even with the easier toddlers. I remember sometimes just losing my rag because I couldn't deal with anymore screaming/tantrums/refusing to do anything I asked etc. Parenting teens has genuinely been a joy, they are lovely to be around, we have interesting conversations and we have a great relationship of mutual respect. It took a lot of years of hard work getting here though and the toddler years were probably the hardest.

This reminds me of the parenting advice to give children choices where both are acceptable to you. "Would you like to put on your shoes or coat first?" Sort of thing.

My children have never been stupid enough to fall for that sort of thing, but it is recommended everywhere.

First one was an absolute joy and fabulous fun and company as a toddler; is only a bit tricky now she’s 8 (read: still great with the odd pushback). Secondborn turned 3 and was an emotional rollercoaster, cried at the drop of a hat, oppositional to absolutely everything, favourite word no 🤣 she improved at 4 but is an absolute handful in comparison to the firstborn 😂

The toddler years were my favourite. They're just so joyful at that age.

Yes, I love it. My youngest is 3 and I'm so sad that my toddler days are nearly completely behind me.

When it gets tough (and it does, he's the most willful out of all of them!) I tell myself 'I'll miss this one day'.

I do think it gets easier and more enjoyable with each DC too

I have 3 , 5 and 8 yo all so different. I think each hose is hard and easy, nothing lasts forever. I worry about missing these days and then feel bad for wishing them away during epic tantrums. You’re entitled to feel however you like OP. And as for people whose kids have never had a tantrum!? Cannot imagine that!

I found the phrase 'hell hath no fury like a toddler given the wrong colour cup' very useful. Repeating it in my head mid tantrum helped reinstate my sense of humour. My toddler trying to physically drag a loaf of bread I had bought (and by extension me) back to the shop, resulting in the packaging bursting and the bread falling onto the pavement, was stressful at the time, but it's a fond memory of toddler madness now.

Mine was an absolute doddle so yes, I did. But I know that was just luck. She’s just an easy child and I think a huge part of that was she talked very early and had an amazing vocabulary so she was able to
communicate clearly and didn’t get frustrated.

I loved the toddler stage, loved my child learning to talk especially and his personality coming out. I found the earlier baby stages very hard.

I found parenting twin toddlers really hard work. I'm with you. It was damage limitation mostly. I now have two nearly 15 year olds. It's still exhausting (single & working full time) but they're brilliant company and don't shit themselves as soon as you've ordered a latte, which is marvellous quite honestly 😂

Totally depends on the kids. First was a dream from 9 months until 2.5 then a pain from 2.5 until 4, now easier again, but she got a sibling at 2y8mo so fair enough really…second was an easy baby, currently just 2 and whilst frustrating is still absolutely great but think she will be a pain in the arse as a 3yo!

But I absolutely love the early walking, talking, discovering, compliant toddlers that they are at the beginning. My favourite bit of parenting so far because they are so funny.

I also think it helps so much to know about their development and what’s normal. Much less frustrating! They will do mad shit but you will look back and laugh at most of it.