AIBU to think DD’s ‘friend’ got a buzz cut to spite her?

[RedBear685]

My 22 year old DD has a male ‘friend’ who she has been on and off in a situationship with for a few months, they were friends before that.
On Wednesday she had a few girlfriends over as well as him and were just randomly discussing hairstyles. All the girls including DD mentioned they don’t like buzz cuts and then that was that. Yesterday, he came over to pick up DD to go out and he had been to the barbers and had a buzz cut! Only 3 days after he heard that DD and the other girls mentioned they don’t like them, he got one. I thought it was weird. He had really attractive blond wavy hair and he got rid of it for what?

AIBU to think this was quite narcissistic and he wanted to spite her, could be a bit of a stretch but perhaps even slightly misogynistic. Some males often do try to put down things women like and I’ve seen an increase in these buzz cuts recently.

Am I thinking too much into it or was he being spiteful? It’s just really irked me!

I'm surprised by some of these responses. If I said that I hated buzz cuts on men and my boyfriend (OK, sort of boyfriend) immediately got one, I would wonder what he was playing at. Yes, he can do what he likes with his hair, but I'd assume that the "situationship" was coming to an end.

Good point!

Its not a boyfriend though or even a sort boyfriend
Essentially how would you.feel if you had an occasional hook up who told you they didnt like your hair and their mother got involved ?

I think you should try to imagine reading a post from a man whose DS and his friends kept going on about how awful short hair looks on women in front of the woman he’s shagging.

“I can’t understand how her female brain thought it was a good idea to get her hair cut after hearing how unattractive men find it.”

Even calling her a man hater and discussing how attractive she now is.

You surely get that would be really creepy and weird?

Also you know they’re not in a relationship right? You want your DD to have a boy who respects her but this boy is not “hers” to have. There’s no commitment there and he’s almost definitely shagging others too.

I wouldn't be surprised if he did it to prove a point that she will still like/have him with a characteristic she's said she doesn't like. The timing is just extremely suspicious to me.

Mind your own business!!!!

Well there is definitely one narcissist in this story, OP...

Op

1. Keep out of it
2. not your business
3. why do you care?

You could test his commitment to deliberately pissing her off by saying she doesn't fancy castrated men.

Just a quick question, if a woman did something with her hair that her male friends said a few days previously that they didn’t like, would your first thought be that she was being narcissistic or misandrist or that she did it to spite them?

Are you not reading a bit much into a haircut? It’ll grow back. It’s not like he got a face tattoo. And it’s his choice, they’re not even boyfriend and girlfriend (and even if they were, it’s still up to him how he has his hair).

Hopefully this guy runs for the hills, psychotic MIL loading.

His body his choice

This sounds more like an issue you have tbh. “I’m quite protective over my children..” most parents are but not to the point of paranoia in thinking the buzz cut is some retaliation. I think you need to look at why that is.

This post actually makes the OP look sane by comparison, which is no mean fear.

FWB/fuck buddies.

That sort of thing.

What a weird take on it! His hair, his decision.

You seen a little too over-invested…

If you're certain it's related to DD stating her preference I'd think he's sending a message he doesn't want to be attractive to her. Perhaps he's worried she likes him in a way he doesn't reciprocate and wants to discourage her.

Don't blame the DD, she hasn't said anything about it! This is ALL the OP's batshittery!

What an odd post, do you look for bad in everyone ?

She didn't tell him she didn't like his hair though, did she? She said she didn't like a certain haircut, which he didn't have at the time, but then went out and got almost immediately afterwards.

OP later heard the two of them talking about it and it made her think, so she started a thread. Reading OP's posts, I can't see that she has said anything to either of them. So presumably, neither of them would know that she feels "involved".

It might be that the "friend" was already planning to get a buzz cut and simply didn't let the girls' opinions put him off. Or he might be making some kind of passive-aggressive statement. We don't know.

I will never utter that word in my life! 🫤

Maybe he just thought he’d rock the style and show them guys can look good with a buzz cut 🤷‍♀️

God almighty, I really do hope I’m not starting threads on Mumsnet about stuff like this when my DC reach their twenties. I think this has to rank in my top 5 weirdest things to worry about.

Your daughter should find some self-respect and drop the situationship. At the very least, he doesn't care what she thinks of him or want to look attractive to her in particular. Leaving aside questions of misogyny and all the rest of it, he's clearly not that into her. It would be a bit low self-esteem on her side to stick around.

Their non relationship means they owe each other nothing, it's none of her business what he does.