AIBU to think DD’s ‘friend’ got a buzz cut to spite her?

[RedBear685]

My 22 year old DD has a male ‘friend’ who she has been on and off in a situationship with for a few months, they were friends before that.
On Wednesday she had a few girlfriends over as well as him and were just randomly discussing hairstyles. All the girls including DD mentioned they don’t like buzz cuts and then that was that. Yesterday, he came over to pick up DD to go out and he had been to the barbers and had a buzz cut! Only 3 days after he heard that DD and the other girls mentioned they don’t like them, he got one. I thought it was weird. He had really attractive blond wavy hair and he got rid of it for what?

AIBU to think this was quite narcissistic and he wanted to spite her, could be a bit of a stretch but perhaps even slightly misogynistic. Some males often do try to put down things women like and I’ve seen an increase in these buzz cuts recently.

Am I thinking too much into it or was he being spiteful? It’s just really irked me!

This is the funniest thing I’ve read in ages, thankyou OP 😂

No, of course he didn’t. That’s such a silly thought!

.....back away from your daughter and her friends....

It’s his hair he’s allowed to have whatever haircut he feels like without being called narcissistic and misogynistic for getting it done.

Is this a reverse ?

“Some males often do try to put down things women like and I’ve seen an increase in these buzz cuts recently”.

Are you saying that men in general are getting buzz cuts deliberately because women don’t like them???? You sound paranoid. Also, buzz cuts have been a thing for as long as I can remember, plus plenty of women think buzz cuts look great on men. Do you honestly think your dd and her friends speak for all women when they turn their noses up at buzz cuts? Honestly, your OP is very odd.

As for the man involved…he can have his hair any way he wants. Do you really think he should have kept his hair styled in a way he didn’t want any more just because your dd expressed a preference? If your dd decided she wanted to cut her hair short/grow it long/dye it pink etc and he and his mates said they didn’t like women with short/long/pink hair then you think your dd should listen to them and only have a male approved hairstyle?

This is madness.

I presume you're pissed off with him for some reason? Does your daughter want more than a situation ship, is this what it's about? If so you're losing your ability to think about this logically and need to take a massive step back.

What an odd post. Let him do what he wants without commenting fgs

This is an insane amount of reaching. Personally I think it’s more narcissistic to think your daughter’s opinion on buzz cuts influenced his decision. Bit of “main character syndrome”…

My first thought was ‘good for him!’ Presumably he thought they were talking shit and decided on this as his response. It’s pretty funny! I don’t see narcissism or misogyny in it.

If your DD thinks he's done it deliberately to annoy her, or simply doesn't fancy him any more with that hair cut, then she's free to end the 'situationship' and 'friendzone' him (if that's the right trendy word to match 'situationship').

No one is obliged to continue in a relationship they're unhappy with, or to style their hair in a way that pleases others.

Exactly

@RaspberryRipple3 I suppose I was thinking over the top, no I would never expect DD to keep a hairstyle she doesn’t like.

@Coffeetimes3 No he’s a really nice boy, but he looks much less attractive with a buzzcut than with his natural wavy hair.

Exactly.

Maybe they weren't a factor in his decision.
Perhaps what they think isn't important to him.
Maybe hearing buzz cut repeatedly made him think he quite fancied one.

Or yes, maybe he did a bizarre fuck you via his hair.
I shaved my head, that'll show them.

If this were the other way round I can imagine the replies. He had a hair cut that he wanted. That’s all it is

Seriously get a grip. What an utterly bizarre thing to post.

The fact you’ve posted this is utterly baffling!

he looks much less attractive

Imagine if this was someone's father writing about his attraction level to his adult kids friend.

The man must have chosen a haircut he wanted, rather than based on fuckability, which is good.

This is weird and creepy.

You shouldn't be so involved or know the "situationship" status and be watching their interactions this closely.

I assume you are picking up this information as DD is living at home, maybe set some boundaries so you can both have some privacy?

Eg she has her friends in her room unless otherwise discussed, house communal space isn't for a group of her friends hanging out and chatting.

You keep your social space and leave her to hers.

You shouldn't be eavesdropping on conversations or trying to be a cool mum hanging out with her friends.

Did you pull a muscle from all the reaching?

I would say it's quite narcissistic to assume that a young man would only ever choose to get a haircut in order to spite your daughter. And that it was his duty to have a haircut she found personally attractive.

Spiteful in what way? I don't understand. His hair is nothing to do with anyone but him. Least of all your daughter.

Also, you're using the word "spite" in the wrong context. Spite would mean if she wanted to get it, and wasn't able to for some reason, and he got one to spite her. Which would still make it none of anyone's business.

So he's spiteful, narcissistic and a misogynist because he got a haircut that your DD doesn't like instead of his "attractive blonde wavy hair"? He is allowed to alter his appearance in a way that your DD dislikes. Would you say she's spiteful, narcissistic and a misandrist if she altered her appearance in a way he or another man didn't like? Didn't think so

It does sound possibly he did it to send a message: I do what I like, your preferences don’t influence me etc.

Maybe he did it because he doesn't want anything more than friendship now and your DD wasn't getting the hint.