AIBU to think DD’s ‘friend’ got a buzz cut to spite her?

[RedBear685]

My 22 year old DD has a male ‘friend’ who she has been on and off in a situationship with for a few months, they were friends before that.
On Wednesday she had a few girlfriends over as well as him and were just randomly discussing hairstyles. All the girls including DD mentioned they don’t like buzz cuts and then that was that. Yesterday, he came over to pick up DD to go out and he had been to the barbers and had a buzz cut! Only 3 days after he heard that DD and the other girls mentioned they don’t like them, he got one. I thought it was weird. He had really attractive blond wavy hair and he got rid of it for what?

AIBU to think this was quite narcissistic and he wanted to spite her, could be a bit of a stretch but perhaps even slightly misogynistic. Some males often do try to put down things women like and I’ve seen an increase in these buzz cuts recently.

Am I thinking too much into it or was he being spiteful? It’s just really irked me!

An actual diagnosed one ?

my guess is one of the others is jealous and said to him that she really likes buzz cuts (correction did he specifically know her preference ?)

@Duckiewasthefirstniceguy Nope. He left me for someone else in 2016. Not great but what can you do?

This is far more likely scenario 😂🤣
Although I do it too with my dh .

So, you’ve been single for a decade? Absolutely nothing wrong with that, but might that be the reason you’re so enmeshed in your DC’s relationship?

This is weird. You shouldn't be so invested in her relationships, especially this one which isn't even a proper relationship. Let her make her mistakes in her youth without running to mumsnet to discuss them.

Maybe his mother would like him to have a girl who 'respects him enough' to believe that his hair is his business. Do you think 'respect' means only doing what the other person deems acceptable in a 'situationship' or relationship?

FWIW my younger son normally got a buzzcut for the summer as it was much cooler than his beautiful mop of curly hair. So maybe after all their judgy talk this boy got thinking about buzzes and thought "You know, I bet it would be cooler in the summer". Maybe it just made him wonder what he'd look like with one. Maybe it made him realize he'd always wanted to try a buzz and someone's 'negative opinion' doesn't mean shit when it comes to how he wears his hair.

At any rate it's nobody's business what he does with his hair. And if you think 'getting involved' means slagging this boy off to your DD about a haircut then think again. It's actually getting 'over involved'.

It was definitely a massive stretch. And why does his new haircut need to be “better” than the old one? What is wrong with you?

You’re annoyed with him for getting his hair cut in a style your DD has just informed him she isn’t keen on? I’m sure someone will have said this already, but what would you say to your DD if she told you that she wanted to cut her hair but this boy had said he only likes girls with long hair, so she couldn’t? Can you see how outrageously unreasonable you are being?

I hope he did do to spite her and they split up. Poor lad. Having the mother of someone he is occasionally fucking start a thread about how he should keep his hair long because her daughter and her friends like it better.

Firstly, this isn’t really anything to do with you. Secondly, he may have done it to ‘test’ how into him she really was. Which is fair enough tbh. Maybe he really likes her but suspects she is only interested in his looks, not him - and wants to know the truth?

Maybe he just wanted to see what it looked like on him. Or fancied a change! End of the day its his decision no one else's

Oh I wish I had this kind of problem to be worrying about!
it’s hair, not even your hair. It’ll grow back.

A boy who respects her doesn't mean a boy who only does what she wants.
I imagine you'd be quite unhappy if your daughter wanted a particular haircut and he was adamant that she shouldn't go ahead with it because women shouldn't have such a haircut...

Ding ding. I was just thinking how glad I was that my mum never knew if I was in a “situationship” with a friend. It would have been mortifying for everyone involved and some of those gents (and ladies) have remained good friends to me. Your mum doesn’t look twice at one of your male friends getting a buzz cut, even if all the girls say they dislike them, whereas if she thinks you’re in a situationship, then all of it becomes like this. No. Mums don’t need to know everything.

Maybe he did it because you make him uncomfortable crowing on about his blond wavy hair and his attractiveness and he wanted to make himself less attractive to his friend’s creepy mother.

Exactly! Imagine the middle aged father going on about his DSs girlfriends long wavy hair 🤮.

This took me back! As a teenager and young adult, it seemed like boyfriends and male friends simply couldn’t resist shaving their hair at some point or other. It seemed a shame to me who wasn’t a fan, but it was pretty clear they were experimenting with identity and styles rather than doing it out of spite. Nor did it occur to me that they shouldn’t do what they liked with their own hair.

I find it strange that you’ve taken such a negative and extreme view of what is very normal behaviour.

Maybe he just had nits.

Either way it's his head, his business.

That made me think of the Netflix documentary ‘Unknown number - the High School Catfish’ 🤣

What a ridiculous post.

Buzz cut? Misogynistic? Heard it all now.

His head. His hair.

Oh op, do you not have friends or a job or something, you’re far too over invested and over thinking, the lad can gef any hair cut he likes and your view on how attractive he is is irrelevant.

ghis is really quite disturbing.

It’s just a hair cut. If he likes it all good, if not it will grow back. That’s really all that matters since it’s his hair, his business.

You’ve forgotten narcissistic!

Erm what is a situationship exactly?