AIBU to think DD’s ‘friend’ got a buzz cut to spite her?

[RedBear685]

My 22 year old DD has a male ‘friend’ who she has been on and off in a situationship with for a few months, they were friends before that.
On Wednesday she had a few girlfriends over as well as him and were just randomly discussing hairstyles. All the girls including DD mentioned they don’t like buzz cuts and then that was that. Yesterday, he came over to pick up DD to go out and he had been to the barbers and had a buzz cut! Only 3 days after he heard that DD and the other girls mentioned they don’t like them, he got one. I thought it was weird. He had really attractive blond wavy hair and he got rid of it for what?

AIBU to think this was quite narcissistic and he wanted to spite her, could be a bit of a stretch but perhaps even slightly misogynistic. Some males often do try to put down things women like and I’ve seen an increase in these buzz cuts recently.

Am I thinking too much into it or was he being spiteful? It’s just really irked me!

Surely 80% of all men have this haircut?

man gets standard man haircut.

@LogieBird I wasn’t hanging out with her and her friends. I was washing up and they were sitting around the island in the kitchen having snacks.

I'm very old. Will someone please explain situationship to me 🤔

they we’re not casting judgement, they were just mentioning their preferences, which is a normal thing to have
Most likely scenario was that he mentioned getting one, your DD said she didn't like it, looked for her girlfriends to agree with her, and he said too bad, it's what I want so I'm getting one.

I can't believe you are getting involved in a judgemental way 😒

Means they shag every so often.

Firstly he can do what he wants with his hair and not care what anyone else thinks,and secondly they aren't even in a relationship, so again, why should it matter what her opinion is on his hair? It is weird that you are so invested in this "situationship"

It's creepy to talk about the attractiveness of your daughter's friend.

Definitely possible. Keep an eye on him for escalation OP.

Ignore the nasty language from posters who are desperately upset that your daughter is in a casual relationship and you and she are fine with that.

'So he's shagging your DD on and off' 🙄

This site is full of women who deeply believe in marriage and tolerating misery. They don't/won't have sex and are very easily upset.

😂OMG! I don’t think you understand what narcissistic means and as for misogynistic ditto 😂

Sorry, but I think this is weird. If the conversation the girls were having was genuinely as you described and they weren’t as extreme to say they would dump a guy if he got a buzz cut - then yes, why would he do that? She should get one too to match him 😆 I would be genuinely interested to know why he did that and if you are with him in the near future, I would ask him myself, Just out of curiosity!

Just to add, I like to make sure I’m attractive to my partner if there is a particular hairstyle that he likes I would wear that for him because I like to make him happy and I love that he finds me attractive. So it is weird that he would do the opposite. Maybe he’s not really into her. That is what I would assume.

Sounds as though you liked his lovely blonde wavy locks a bit too much yourself op!

An escalation from having a haircut? I’ve heard it all now.

Definitely possible. Keep an eye on him for escalation OP.

What, like if he trims his eyebrows? Is that a subliminal message that he’s a dickhead?

What is a "situationship"?

And if a bloke was “just expressing his preferences” it would still be manipulative and controlling.

your/your dd opinion of how a guy wants his hair is utterly irrelevant

When a man tells his girlfriend his preferences on how her hair should be, it’s a red flag…if she then gets her hair cut how she likes it, which is not his preference!

Calling her narcissistic for this, is also a red flag!

So is this!

and I’ve seen an increase in these buzz cuts recently

well, surely this answers it. If there is an increase in such a haircut, it would tend to indicate it is a popular/trendy style at present. So, he got a haircut, and it happens to be a popular/trendy style, which you yourself have pointed out. What’s narcissistic is thinking your daughter is front and centre when it comes to why people do things. 99.99% of guys would tune out completely when women start to go on about hair, so maybe he didn’t even ‘hear’ them but went with what the barber/hairdresser said is good going at present.

ETA - I have adult kids, and I can’t imagine giving this a second thought, let alone putting it on an internet forum. You seem very invested in the minutia of their lives, maybe hobbies or a Netflix addiction would be the go?

Don’t like buzzcuts? Don’t get one.

my OH often tells me what nail varnish colours he prefers. Every single time, I tell him he can choose which ever colour he likes for his own nails, I’m happy with the choices I make for my manicures.

I'm absolutely staggered that anyone voted YANBU. Imagine if a middle-aged man speculated that a young woman was a spiteful, narcissistic man-hater because... she got a haircut after hearing men say they don't like women to have short hair. MN would have hung, drawn and quartered him by now.

Your opinion is he looks a lot less attractive, maybe others prefer it?

Ok so that reply makes it even weirder. You think your daughter's fella needs to look attractive to you?

Its his hair.

This is the most insane OP I’ve read in a while, which is quite a feat.

Feeling older and more out of touch now, I thought that was 'friends with benefits' but what do I know ? 🤣
Thanks for the explanation though. 😊